A Change of Heart
by appledown
Summary: Lorelai is faced with matters of the heart, both her father's and her own.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I began writing this a couple of weeks ago and it is based on the spoilers I knew about back then for the 2nd half of the season. Does not follow the show past 7.13.

I appreciate any and all feedback!

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"It's going to be ok." 

Lorelai hugged her daughter, closing her eyes in silent prayer that her words were true. The two girls remained standing with their arms wrapped around each other, Rory sniffling softly, taking comfort in each other. Lorelai couldn't help but think these moments between them were fewer and farther between. She feared the coming years when Rory would officially be on her own and the physical miles between them would be greater. She feared the days when talking once a week or even once a month would become the norm. She sighed and squeezed her daughter a little tighter. Their quiet moment came screeching to a halt, however, as they heard raised voices coming from down the hall.

Lorelai pulled away slightly and shook her head. "I do believe that Emily Gilmore has arrived on scene," Lorelai spoke, trying to keep her tone light.

Rory gave her a smile but said seriously, "Be nice, mom."

"Excuse me? I am always nice," Lorelai said, feigning innocence. She draped her arm across Rory's shoulders and steered them towards the disturbance.

"Of course," Rory said wryly. "My mistake."

They rounded the corner to come face to face with a frantic Emily Gilmore and an exasperated nurse. "Is this hospital run by a bunch of moronic imbeciles? I see not much has changed since I was here last!"

"Mom," Lorelai called out to her. "What are you yelling about?"

Emily turned to them in surprise. "This…idiot will not get a doctor out here to tell me about my husband. I demand to know what is going on!"

"Mom, come sit down and let this very nice lady do her job, ok?" She turned to the frazzled nurse, gave her an apologetic smile and guided her mom to the row of chairs down the hall. Emily was having none of it and pushed Lorelai's arms off her shoulders, standing firm.

"I don't want to sit down, Lorelai! I want to know what is going on!" Emily turned and once again headed towards the nurse's station.

"I will tell you what is going on if you SIT DOWN," Lorelai said.

A few people passing by gave her looks of suprise but she ignored them, focusing on her mother. Emily stopped and turned back to them. She and Lorelai stared at each other for a tense moment before she sighed and stalked off to the row of chairs. Emily sat down in between Lorelai and Rory and stared expectantly at Lorelai. Her hands were white, tightly clinched together in her lap, her back rigid and straight. When Lorelai didn't immediately speak, she impatiently snapped, "Well?"

"Alright, sorry. As I told you on the phone, Dad collapsed this morning during Rory's class. They rushed him here and according to the doctor we spoke with a few minutes before you arrived, Dr...Sampson? Samuels? Oh man, it was S something..."

"Dr. Saunders," Rory supplied.

"Yes, that was it!" Lorelai cried.

"Lorelai! Who cares what his name was for God's sake! Tell me what happened!" Emily yelled.

"He had a heart attack, Mom," Lorelai said quickly, her voice cracking with the admission. She looked down at her hands in her lap. Emily inhaled sharply but her composure stayed in check.

"It was bad," Lorela admitted softly. "I think he lost consciousness for a bit." She glanced over at Rory for confirmation since she was the one with him when it happened. "They're prepping him for surgery now. He said he'd be back out with more information before they went in. They're still waiting on test results or something. That's all we know right now. I'm sorry."

Emily stared at her daughter in silence, her lips a thin, straight line. She didn't move or speak for several long minutes. Lorelai glanced over at Rory who was looking at her grandmother with concern. She reached a hand out and lightly touched Emily's shoulder. "Grandma," she started to speak when Emily snapped out of her trance.

She shot up out of her seat and began walking back down the hall. Lorelai got up to go after her, yelling, "Where are you going?" She barely dodged a couple who were coming down the hall towards them, apologizing quickly as she ran past.

"I want to see him," she stated, not even bothering to turn around or slow down.

"Mom, you can't see him right now. They're taking him into surgery!" Lorelai and Rory hurried after her.

At that moment, Lorelai saw the doctor from earlier come around the corner. "Mrs. Gilmore, I presume? I'm Dr. Saunders." Emily stopped short and turned to face him. Lorelai saw the nurse from earlier sigh in obvious relief before hurrying off down the hall in the opposite direction. _Run while you can_, she thought with a hint of a smile before turning her attention to the doctor.

"I want to see my husband," Emily stated to the doctor in front of her, ignoring his outstretched hand and instead crossed her arms over her chest.

"I understand that. But I'm afraid we've already got him in the OR. I'm on my way there now but wanted to come talk to you first, let you know a little about what is going to happen."

Lorelai came up next to her mom with Rory close behind. "Is he going to be ok?" she asked.

"I'm afraid it's too early to tell. We'll know more after the surgery. What you can take comfort in right now is he appears to be in excellent health overall. That's always very important in these situations. But I understand he's had heart trouble in the past?"

"Angina," Emily elaborated. "A few years ago. They said it was no big deal. We changed his diet as instructed. He's had regular check ups and the very best doctors. He's not had any problems since!"

"That's good," Dr. Saunders said. "That's very good. We ran a number of tests and x-rays and what we've found is Richard has a couple of blocked arteries. We need to open those up as quickly as possible, which is why surgery is necessary. Nothing can be guaranteed. There is always a risk with surgical procedures, I'm afraid. With that said, the chances are very good he will come out of this fine."

The trio stood quietly, listening as the doctor continued to explain the procedure and what was about to happen. They all nodded their understanding when he finished even though Lorelai wasn't sure she had heard anything after "Chances are good he'll be fine." He shook each of their hands and with an encouraging smile, he headed back to the elevators. They watched him go in silence.

Lorelai was the first to break the silence. "Well, now we wait, I guess. Can I get anyone some coffee?" She turned to her mother, who was staring down at the floor. "Mom? What would you like? Something to eat maybe? I can't promise gourmet cuisine can be found on the premises but I bet I can round up some Ding Dongs and a Pop-Tart or two."

Emily looked up at Lorelai blankly and said, "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

Lorelai smiled sadly at her mother's lack of reaction to her attempt at humor and looked over at Rory.

"I could use some coffee. I'll stay with Grandma," she said quietly.

She gave her daughter a grateful smile and said, "Ok, I'll be right back."

She watched as Rory ushered her grandmother back to the waiting room before turning back down to search out the vending machines. She walked slowly, grateful to have a few minutes to herself to think. Or not think, as the case may be.

She walked mostly on autopilot and before long, she found herself standing in front of a row of vending machines. She had no idea how she had gotten there. It was true what they said. It was like dogs and high-pitched noises — Lorelai had always had a nose for junk food.

She stared numbly at their contents, her hands shoved deep into her pockets. Her eyes glanced over each of the items and to anyone observing it would seem as if she were weighing the choices, simply trying to decide which she wanted the most. However, had she been asked to describe what was directly in front of her, she never would have been able to list even one of the items.

She wasn't hungry in the least, she decided. She headed over to the coffee machine and began digging for her change. "Dammit," she mumbled when all she came up with was a measly eight cents. She'd spent the cash she had on her earlier that morning when she'd taken Gigi to get ice cream after Chris had stormed out.

_Gigi_. Lorelai sighed and dug out her cell phone. She pressed a few buttons and sat down on a nearby chair. Her foot tapped impatiently on the floor as she listened to the rings. When she got the hated voice mail for the fourth time that day, she couldn't control the anger that washed over her. She slammed her phone shut, without leaving a message this time, and sat fuming for a few long minutes. She knew her husband was immature, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

When she was able to get a little control over herself, she picked her phone back up and dialed a second number.

"Hello."

"Hi Babette, it's Lorelai," she said as cheerfully as she could muster. "Just checking in, seeing how things are going."

"Oh, hi there, doll. Things are going just fine. How's things with your dad? Is he gonna be ok? What happened?"

"He had a heart attack. He's in surgery right now. We're not sure," Lorelai said, fighting the tears that had been threatening to come since Rory had first phoned her several hours prior. "But the doctor sounded hopeful. So that's a good sign, I think."

"Sure is, sugah."

"Thanks for watching Gigi on such short notice. I hope she's not being too much trouble?"

"Oh no, she's just fine. She and Apricot have really taken to each other. Hang on a sec…Gigi, no sweetie, don't pull his tail! MOREY, GET OVER THERE!" Lorelai winced a little at the thought of the poor cat but stifled a laugh at the same time. Paul Anka had taken to hide anytime the child was near. "Sorry 'bout that, sugah. I'm back. Now, don't you worry 'bout a thing, ya' hear? Morey and I got it all covered. You just take care of yourself. And don't you worry if you're not able to get back tonight. I'll sleep on the couch over at your house so Gigi has her things around her. That's important to a little girl, ya' know."

Lorelai smiled into the phone. "Thanks, Babette. I owe you one. I'm still trying to get hold of Chris so hopefully you won't have to do that. But I appreciate that you're willing."

"Chris at work or sumthin'?"

"Yeah," she said quickly, "he's at work. He can be hard to reach there sometimes." Lorelai sighed, rubbing her forehead a little at the developing tension. "Can I talk to Gigi for a sec?"

"Of course," she said, and then Lorelai had to pull the phone away from her ear as the older woman's scratchy voice screeched, "GIGI?! Come here, sweetie!" Babette's voice became muffled and she heard a slight scuffling and then Babette screaming for Morey and the whereabouts of their cat.

"Oh God," Lorelai muttered, briefly worried about what tortures her stepdaughter was inflicting on her neighbor's precious animal. She couldn't help but entertain visions of yet another wake she'd be attending soon for the cat. What was the appropriate consolation gift for a beloved pet that she was indirectly responsible for killing?

"Here she is, doll," Babette said and seconds later she heard Gigi's voice say a quiet "Hi."

"Hey there kid. You having fun with Babette and Morey?" Lorelai made a conscious effort to keep her voice light and carefree.

"Yeah," Gigi said. "Where are you?"

"Well, I'm at the hospital."

"Why?"

"My father is sick. The doctors are with him, trying to make him better."

"Oh."

"So I may have to stay here tonight. Will you be ok with Babette? She's going to stay with you until I can get home but it might be after you've gone to bed."

"Where's Daddy?"

Lorelai knew that question was coming and yet she still cringed. "He's at work, sweetie. And then he probably needs to come help me out up here when he's done, so it's better if you stay with Babette for now, ok?"

The little girl didn't reply. "Gigi? You still with me, kid?"

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Ok, well, I need to hang up now. But if you need to call me, for anything, you can. Anytime of the day or night. Babette can help you with the phone."

"Why can't I come there with you and Daddy?"

"Aww, sweetie, you don't want to be at the hospital. Lots of sick people all around. And no toys or fun things to play with at all. Trust me, babe, you will have lots more fun at home. And we'll be there as soon as possible."

"Ok," Gigi replied but Lorelai could hear the hesitance in her voice. Poor kid, she thought. She really had been through a lot in her few short years.

"I'll call you again if were not going to be home before you go to sleep. And do whatever Babette and Morey tell you to do."

Gigi promised she'd be good and then handed the phone back to Babette. They spoke a few minutes more and Lorelai hung up and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. She felt the tears stinging the back of her lids but she pushed them back. She checked her watch and realized she'd been gone too long. She pulled herself together, running her hands through her hair quickly trying to make herself presentable, and headed off to rejoin her family.

"Mom!" Rory called when she saw her mother coming down the hall. "Where have you been?"

"Sorry, had a few phone calls to make. I needed to check on Gigi."

"Oh, sure." Rory looked at her for a second and then said, "Where's the coffee?"

"Coffee?" Lorelai asked blankly. "Oh, coffee! Sorry! I don't have any cash on me. Can you imagine?" Her accompanying laugh was a little shaky. "I'm sure there is an ATM around here somewhere. I'll find it."

She started to walk off when she heard a voice speak up behind Rory. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it. Just sit down."

Shocked, she stopped in her tracks. Her heart did a quick dive into her stomach and she forgot to breathe for a second. It wasn't possible, she thought, closing her eyes before turning back around.

"Luke," she whispered, her eyes wide with shock. "What are you doing here?"


	2. Chapter 2

Lorelai stood completely frozen in shock. She could see Rory standing off to the side staring at her in concern, her gaze flipping between her mother and Luke. It was one thing to occasionally run into him around Stars Hollow, on the street outside of Doose's or even the other day at the Dragonfly. It always startled her but they would eventually get back into a friendly rhythm.

But to see him here, at a hospital in Hartford, just didn't compute correctly in Lorelai's brain. So when Luke took a few steps closer to her, Lorelai had to quell the crazy urge to take a step back in response. Instead she folded her arms across her chest and took a deep breath to calm her startled nerves.

"I went to the Inn to talk to you earlier but Sookie said you were at the hospital," Luke explained. "She said that something had happened to your father. So," Luke paused, his eyes focused down on his shoes. He adjusted his cap a little, his nervousness apparent to everyone. "So I came to see how he was. And, well, if there was anything I could do. To help."

Lorelai stared at him, trying to comprehend the words he was speaking over the steady mantra of _Luke is here Luke is here Luke is here_ that was currently on repeat in her mind. When it became clear she wasn't going to respond, Luke turned to Emily and Rory. "Anything other than coffee I can get you? Emily? What would you like?"

Emily simply shook her head without looking up from her seat and Rory told him that coffee was all they needed. He looked back at Lorelai and she shook her head as well. "Nothing to eat?" he asked, just to be sure. 

Lorelai found her voice at last. "I'm not very hungry," she said quietly.

He looked at her for a minute, his face unreadable, before simply saying, "Alright then, I'll be right back."

Lorelai turned and watched him go, her emotions completely jumbled. Her ex-fiancé came to the hospital, on his own. To check on his ex-fiance's father. Not exactly a person who treated him warmly or with acceptance. But he was here anyway. What did this mean? She couldn't get her actual husband to answer his phone in a crisis simply because they had a fight — the fact that it was a bad one notwithstanding - but Luke just shows up unannounced. She felt an almost hysterical urge to laugh at the irony. The star of their fight was now down the hall getting them coffee like the last year hadn't even happened. Like she hadn't destroyed everything that was good between them. It was just too confusing she thought. She was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped in surprise when Emily called out "Sophia!" from behind her.

"Who?" Rory asked in surprise, looking over at Emily.

Lorelai turned to her mom. "Who is Sophia?"

"I was supposed to meet Sophia for tea," Emily paused, checking her watch, "twenty minutes ago!"

"Well, ok, just call her and explain. She'll understand," Lorelai sighed, glancing one last time down the now empty hallway before sitting back down next to her mother. She rested her head against the wall behind her, closing her eyes.

"Right, right," Emily mumbled, fumbling for her purse. She pulled out her phone and stared down at it, unmoving.

"Grandma?" Rory asked in concern when she was still for too long.

"Hmm? Oh, right." She dialed Sophia's number and impatiently tapped her foot on the linoleum floor. "Damn," she muttered, hanging up the phone. "Voicemail."

"You didn't even leave a message, Mom."

"I don't leave messages, Lorelai. You know that. If a person can't bother to pick up the phone and talk to me, I can't be bothered to talk to a machine. I'll try again."

Lorelai rolled her eyes slightly and sighed. "Fine." They were quiet another minute when Emily stood up suddenly.

"Now what?" Lorelai said in annoyance, looking up at her mom.

"I was meeting Sophia for tea in order to bring her the latest plans for this weekend's fundraising auction. Then we have a meeting with the caterers this afternoon about the updated menu selections. Not to mention changes to the room set up still have to be made. The entire thing will be a disaster if this doesn't get taken care of!"

Lorelai sighed at the inappropriateness of her mother worrying about a stupid fundraiser while her husband was being operated on. "It's fine, Mom. They'll understand. I'm sure Sophia can handle it on her own."

"Please. Sophia is more clueless than the maid I just fired because she couldn't figure out how to get the vacuum cleaner to work."

"Fine, then call one of your other friends. You have to know someone who can handle it," Lorelai suggested, her voice tired and fringed with irritation.

Emily glared down at her daughter and turned on her heel. Lorelai glanced over at Rory who just shrugged and then quickly jumped up to run after. "Mom, where are you going?"

"To get the plans. I'll have to drop them off to the caterers myself if I can't find Sophia. I'll be back."

"No, Mom. You can't leave!" She followed her mother further down the hall. "This is ridiculous! What if the doctor comes back with news while you're gone? You have to be here!"

"Lorelai, I know you like to mock my life and the things I find important but this is not the time. You can do so later if you like. It's not far. I'll be back."

"Why don't you call the maid? Have her find the notes and then she can take them to Sophia?"

"I'm in between maids at the moment," Emily scoffed, waving her hands dismissively. "I have to do this myself."

"No!" Lorelai demanded. She grabbed her mother's arm and stood in front of her, blocking her path.

The older lady glared at her. "I beg your pardon? Do let go of my arm right now."

"No. I want you to go sit back down. Right now."

"I will not. There is no use in sitting around, feeling sorry for ourselves. Waiting is only making me crazy. I need to **do** something." Lorelai heard the crack in her mother's voice and she relaxed her grip on her arm.

"I know that," she said gently. "Believe me, I understand the helplessness you feel. But I…we need you right now. Please, stay. You should be here when that doctor comes out with the news. Please, Mom."

There were tears in Emily's eyes and she hung her head. Her body shook slightly for a moment before she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Her tears had disappeared as quickly as they had come, leaving Lorelai to wonder if she'd seen them at all. She muttered a quiet "Very well."

Lorelai smiled and dropped her hand from her mother's arm. "Thank you, Mom."

As they walked back to the waiting room, her mom had pulled out her phone again and was dialing. "Who are you calling now?"

"Tilda."

"She says as if I should know," Lorelai said, rolling her eyes.

"Tilda is the least incompetent person I know. I planned this event and I'll be damned if it turns out a disaster, no matter the circumstances," Emily said, putting the phone up to her ear. "Oh wouldn't they just love to see Emily Gilmore fall on her face," she muttered under her breath. Lorelai just shook her head in exasperation and left her to make the phone call.

When Lorelai returned to their seats in the waiting room, she saw that Luke had returned with their coffee. He handed Lorelai her cup and smiled as he also passed on a bag to Lorelai. She looked at him curiously and took a peek inside the bag. She couldn't help the laugh that escaped as she saw what must have been one of everything out of that vending machine she had found earlier. She grinned up at him.

"Just in case," he said, returning her smile.

She just nodded and whispered thanks and tried to choke down the lump that had formed in her throat. She sat down next to Rory and listened with half an ear while Rory brought Luke up to speed on what had happened. She smiled at Luke's obvious concern for them and once again marveled at the fact that he was there at all. 

Lorelai glanced up as Emily reappeared before them. "Well, I managed to catch Tilda at the salon. She's in the middle of a facial but she's going to meet me at the house in an hour."

"Meet you? Mom we talked about this. You can't leave!"

"Lorelai, the house is locked. How is she going to get in? Break a window?" Emily shook her head in annoyance.

"Tell her to come to the hospital. You can give her the key here."

"I am not giving that woman a key to my house and allow her to paw through MY things unescorted! I trust her about as far as I could throw her. Have you lost your mind?"

"Mom," Lorelai started but was cut off by Luke.

"Is there something I could do to help?" he asked, standing up from his seat. Lorelai looked at him with eyebrows raised.

"Luke," Emily exclaimed in surprise, turning to look at him. "What are you doing here?"

The trio stared at her in amusement. "Luke's been here awhile, Mom," Lorelai said with a smile. "You were sitting right here. And he brought us coffee," she added, waving her cup in front of her.

"Oh," she said, staring at them all in confusion. "I apologize."

"It's ok," Luke assured, "you've got a lot on your mind right now. And I haven't been here that long."

"Yes, well," Emily said quietly. "Thank you for understanding." She looked over at Lorelai with a clear question on her face. Lorelai just shrugged a little in response.

"Grandma," Rory said suddenly. "Maybe Luke can help. You could give him the key and he could be there when Tilda shows up. That way someone would be there to watch and make sure she does nothing she shouldn't be doing."

"I don't know," Emily hesitated. "I should really be there."

Lorelai stood up. "Mom, can I talk to you over here for a minute?" She took her mother by the arm and pulled her a few feet away.

"Lorelai, for heaven's sake," Emily reprimanded. "I am capable of following directions without being manhandled."

"Sorry, Mom," Lorelai said in a way that clearly meant otherwise. "Look, you can trust Luke, you know. I trust him with my life. With Rory's life. So you can certainly trust him with your household possessions for a whole five minutes." Her mother was staring at her with an unreadable expression. "He's not going to steal the silver, you know," she added, annoyed.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Of course I know that, Lorelai. Please be serious."

"Ok, fine, so what is the problem?"

Emily crossed her arms over her chest and regarded her daughter. "How can you trust that man? After everything he did?" Emily asked.

Lorelai stared at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? He didn't do anything. What happened between us was both of our faults. It had nothing to do with trust."

"Oh please, Lorelai. That man broke your heart. That has everything to do with trust."

Lorelai stared down at her feet, surprised by the unexpected tears that clogged the back of her throat suddenly. She'd done well to bury these feelings long ago. The simple mention of what once was from a clueless townie didn't bring about any sudden tears. Even Sookie's well-intentioned meddling no longer affected her that strongly. She'd even been in Luke's presence a couple of times recently and had been proud of her ability to play it cool for the most part.

She reasoned it must be the emotions of the day causing her to be on edge already. And her fight with Chris had shaken her greatly. She still hadn't had time to deal with the ramifications of the words he'd thrown at her. The accusations he'd implied about her feelings for Luke and their marriage. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to blink back the tears in the hopes her mother hadn't noticed.

"Look," she said quietly, her voice strained and her eyes downcast, "what happened between us is in the past. It just didn't work out, ok? And…I'd say I probably broke his heart, too. So we're even, I guess." Lorelai looked up into her mother's eyes. "But none of that has anything to do with you being able to trust him with a key to your home. Please, Mom. Let Luke do this for you. Don't you want to be here when Dad comes out of surgery?"

Emily was quiet as she regarded her daughter. She had seen the tears Lorelai had tried to hide. She wondered, not for the first time, where Christopher was and why Luke was here in his place. She was no fool, even now. She knew her daughter didn't have any where near the feelings for her current husband than she did for this backwoods man and probably never would. Their elopement and subsequent marriage was nothing but suspicious in her mind but Emily wasn't about to challenge her on that. Christopher was a far better choice for Lorelai than Luke Danes ever would be, Emily was certain of that.

Her daughter, though, had a point about needing to be here. She did want to be here when her husband came out of surgery. She should be here to talk to the doctor. She should be the first person Richard saw when he opened his eyes. She refused to even contemplate the possibility that he wouldn't.

She glanced back over to where Rory and Luke were sitting, talking quietly. She looked back over at the woman before her and sighed.

"Fine," Emily conceded. "Luke can go."

Lorelai smiled. "Thank you, Mom."

"You're welcome," Emily said, withholding the urge to demand to know just why it was so important to her daughter to allow her ex-fiancé to help so badly. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear her answers.

They walked back over to their seats and Emily dug out her ring of keys from her purse. She pointed out the house key to Luke with a few instructions on how to get past the security alarm before handing them over completely with a sigh of obvious trepidation. "The plans are in my office desk, the top right hand drawer. They are in a blue folder. Should be sitting on top. Tilda knows what to do with them."

Luke nodded his understanding and told them he'd call if they had any trouble.

"Watch her, Luke," she called out as he started down the hall. "That woman is trouble, I know it!"

Luke waved his hand in acknowledgement without turning around. Lorelai stood silently, her head cocked to the side slightly as she watched him go. Her thoughts and emotions conflicted and she couldn't seem to put them in any sort of order. She glanced over at her daughter who was staring at her with a knowing look.

"What?" she asked, slumping down into her seat next to Rory.

"Nothing," Rory said, shaking her head. She stared down at her folded hands in her lap.

"That was not a 'nothing' kind of look," Lorelai said, looking over at her out of the corner of her eye.

"I was just wondering," Rory started to say before halting. Lorelai looked at her in silent encouragement. "Where's Dad?"

Lorelai sighed and focused her gaze on her lap. "I don't know." 

"How can you not know?" Rory asked surprised. "He's your husband." Neither noticed that Emily was watching them from her position a few feet away.

"Doesn't make me his keeper," Lorelai muttered.

"Have you called him?" Rory asked.

"Of course I've called him, Rory," Lorelai said in sudden irritation. "You think I wouldn't try to let my husband know that my father could be dying?" Emily inhaled sharply, wincing at her words as she turned away, her arms folded across her middle. She was far from out of earshot, however.

"Sorry, babe," Lorelai said. "I'm just a little stressed out." She gave her a brief smile of apology.

"Mom," Rory said, placing her hand on her mother's shoulder. "It's ok. I told you the other day I'm not a little kid anymore. You can talk to me. Even about Dad. Even if it's bad."

Lorelai studied her daughter's face without speaking. The tears welled up suddenly and she let out a choked laugh. "Oh kid, you have no idea how much I want to. But this is between me and him right now. Ok?"

"Mom," Rory started, but Lorelai interrupted her.

"We had a fight early this morning, that's all. It'll be fine."

Lorelai's wavering voice belied the words and Rory didn't buy it at all. But she dropped the subject and simply said, "Offer still stands." Lorelai simply put her arms around her daughter and pulled her close. She placed a kiss on the top of her head and rested her cheek there and smiled sadly.

Emily watched them for a few seconds and couldn't stop the pang of sadness that washed over her. Seeing how close these two were made her incredibly melancholy at times. But at the same time, she felt a little angry. It wasn't fair, she thought to herself. She'd done everything in her power since that child was born to give her the best of everything in this world. It hurt that Lorelai had never appreciated it. Not even once. She mocked it instead. To see Lorelai so close to her daughter, when she could barely get through a peaceful dinner with her own, it was at times infuriating. And hurtful.

Taking a breath, Emily came back to the chairs and sat down on the edge. She looked at her watch and sighed heavily. "What in the world is taking so long? He said an hour tops! It's been well over that!"

Lorelai sat up and looked at her mother. "He said it usually took about an hour but they wouldn't know the extent until they got in there. Try to be patient, Mom."

"Patient. Like someone can just sit around on their hands in such a situation and be patient. Please," Emily muttered with anger, her hands folded so tightly in her lap they were void of any color. She stared straight ahead at the wall in front of her.

Rory and Lorelai exchanged a glance and Rory stood up and went to sit on the other side of her grandmother. She put her arm around her shoulders and rested her head next to Emily's. Lorelai noticed how her mother tensed slightly at the action but didn't pull away. She watched the flicker of surprise that came over her face before smiling a little, clearly touched.

She watched them with a little sadness. It was to a rare person that Lorelai would ever admit the jealousy she felt over her daughter and mother's relationship. She was glad, well she was now she corrected herself, about their relationship and how close they were. In the beginning, she had feared her parents would treat Rory as they had treated her, with constant disappointment and shame. It was one of the many reasons she had left and kept only limited contact with the two for so long. She would not allow her kid to grow up doubting how much she was loved. She would know every single minute of the day she was adored by all, that had been Lorelai's mission. She didn't regret leaving although sometimes she wished she had made more of an effort in reconciling.

She also wished at rare times she could sit down and talk to her mother about things. About how she felt. Sometimes, and it pained her to admit even to herself, she even wanted her mother's opinion and perspective on things. But to open herself up that way she would only be inviting judgment and ridicule and her own sense of self-preservation kept that from ever happening. At least voluntarily.

Her thoughts strayed to her father, then. She wondered what was happening out of her sight. Were things going smoothly, like the surgeon expected? Did they run into complications and were right that minute using those pad thingies to shock him back to life, like in all those medical shows she loved to watch and mock? She wished she had paid more attention to the procedures themselves, especially the ones centering around heart attacks. She wondered if there was a computer around she could use. Google a bit, get a clearer understanding of what they might be doing to him right then.

What did he even call this procedure? Some kind of cabbage procedure? What the hell was that? Why would they give it such a ridiculous name? At least pick a tastier vegetable. Why hadn't she asked for clarifcation? And what the hell was bypass surgery anyway? She realized she had very little idea. She sighed in frustration at the situation and her complete lack of understanding about anything that was going on.

Her mind jumped back to the last time she had seen her father. It was the first Friday Night Dinner after she and Chris had married. How had she behaved? Had she been her usual snarky self? She couldn't remember. Probably. Was he exasperated at her for any reason? Again, probably. Did she apologize? She bit her lip, knowing the answer to that even if she didn't recall the specifics of the evening.

It was the typical Friday Night Dinner, that she was sure of. Well, except for bringing along her husband, that was new. She knew her parents were pleased she had finally married Christopher, their life long dream for her realized at last she thought with a touch of bitterness. But she knew that underneath it all, she had still hurt them by the way she had done it. Lorelai didn't know why she had such a knack for hurting her parents. Even when she did something they approved of, she still managed to do it in such a way that hurt them. She honestly didn't try to do such a thing. It wasn't a goal first thing upon waking each day. She didn't think immediately upon opening her eyes, "Today I will do blah blah blah to hurt my parents. Yay!" Regardless, she was certainly good at it. Practice indeed makes perfect.

She looked over at her mother with a little sadness. Rory still had her arm wrapped around her grandmother and Emily had put her head on her grandaughter's shoulder. It would make quite the picture, she thoght. It tugged a little at her heart seeing her stoic mother let her guard down for once. She felt a wave of love wash over her for these two very important women in her life. And she guessed that only one of them was truly aware of how much they meant to her.

Had she ever told her parents she loved them? She didn't think she had, not since she was a little girl anyway. She almost smiled at the thought of the looks on either of their faces if such words ever escaped her mouth in their direction. Of course, she couldn't help but think with a little animosity, she hadn't heard them tell her the same in as many years.

The tears came out of nowhere once again, this time with more force than before. She jumped up from her seat, startling the others. "Excuse me," Lorelai said, keeping her head lowered and her hair obscuring her face. "I need to run to the restroom."

"Mom? Are you…" Rory called hesitantly.

"I'll be right back. Stay with Mom," she called out over her shoulder.

She hurried off down the hall, only knowing she needed to get away as quickly as possible. When she was finally out of view, she slumped against the nearest wall and slid down to the floor. She put her head in her hands and let out a strangled sob.

She couldn't help but imagine how their lives would change if he didn't make it through this. How her mother's life would change. Emily lived to take care of that man and his business. What would she do in that house all alone? And Rory, who loved her grandfather dearly. They had become so close over the years, this would devastate her.

_What about you_, she asked herself. _How will your life change?_ Truthfully, she could easily go days, weeks without seeing, talking or thinking about either of her parents. She and Richard had never been close, not even when she was a child. She had no fond memories of him from that time. No moments that made her smile, wistful of their better days. There were certainly never any bedtime stories read. There were no hugs and kisses good night or good morning. Only stern "Do as the nanny tells you, Lorelai!" from behind the paper.

"Stop running in the house, Lorelai!"

"Don't touch that, Lorelai!"

"Stay out of my office, Lorelai!" 

"Why can't you just do as you're told, Lorelai?"

But even so, he was her father. She loved him. He only behaved as he knew how to. He was, after all, a product of his society. That's just how fathers were in those circles it seemed. However, she loved him despite that. And she knew, deep down, that he loved her as well. 

She thought back to the last time they were all gathered here, in this very hospital. _Had anything changed because of that night?_ she asked herself. Shouldn't families get closer after experiencing a scare like that? Shouldn't she have done something to try to change their relationship? She'd been given a second chance, she thought, and she'd done nothing with it.

She recalled wanting so badly to talk to him that night, tell him how scared she was, how much she loved him. She almost had. She had been mere seconds from saying those very important words to him, right there in his hospital room. She wonders now if they had not been interrupted before she got the chance, or more importantly had she simply _tried again_, would things have changed between them in any way? Would those words have helped soothe the friction that persisted between them?

She never expected to be best pals with either of her parents; they would never be like her and Rory. But sometimes she wished she could go over there for dinners without feeling that never-ending sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. She wished she could simply enjoy spending a few hours with the two of them. She wished she could trust them to not hurt her.

She would never know if things could have changed back then had she not been such a coward. However, one thing was crystal clear in her mind. If he pulled through this, she was being given another chance to try. _Third time's a charm_, she told herself, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse.

"I love you, Daddy," she whispered through her tears, hugging her knees close to her chest. She ignored the pitied looks the others passing by in the hallway were giving her and she put her head down to block them out.

----------

When Lorelai returned to the waiting room a little while later, having composed herself as best as she could, Rory and Emily were still in pretty much the same positions as when she had left. It actually looked as if Emily had fallen asleep on Rory's shoulder. It made Lorelai pause. She couldn't ever remember seeing her mother look so vulnerable. She had to admit the sight shook her a little.

Rory looked up at Lorelai as she took her seat next to her. She looked at her with concern, noticing her bloodshot eyes and tired appearance. "You ok?" she whispered.

"Just dandy," she said, closing her eyes with a sigh.

"He's going to be ok, Mom" she promised. "I just know it."

Lorelai just smiled, not opening her eyes. "I'm sure he will. He's a stubborn man, my father. He's not going anywhere until he's good and ready."

"He promised," Emily whispered, sitting up straight in her seat.

"What?" Lorelai asked, looking over at her mother.

"He promised I could go first," Emily said matter-of-factly, her voice emotionless. She stared at the clock on the wall in front of them.

"You could go…what are you talking about?" Lorelai looked at Rory, who shook her head in confusion.

"Last time," Emily said, glancing quickly at Lorelai before focusing her attention back to the clock. "I told him I had to go first. He promised me I could."

"Oh Mom," Lorelai whispered, the lump in her throat causing the words to crack. She saw the tears in Rory's eyes and she bit her lip in an attempt to keep her own at bay. She didn't know what to say further so she just left it at that and stared down at her trembling hands.

The trio lapsed into an uncomfortable silence once more. They watched the second hand make its slow but tireless circle round and round the clock on the wall ahead of them.

They waited.


	3. Chapter 3

Sharp sounds of urgency coupled with vibrant images flittered all around her, making her dizzy with confusion. Colors she couldn't define overloaded her senses. High pitched tones and raised voices made her heart race with fear. She suddenly felt herself in a unique sensation of falling upwards, the stark white ceiling above her coming closer and closer, her screams more desperate as impact neared. The white plaster turned a vibrant, pulsing blue right before her eyes and then was pulled apart as if by unseen hands above. She felt herself being yanked through by a force unseen before hurtling out into nothingness and her daughter screaming for her from down below.

Lorelai gasped, sitting up with a jolt, her hand flying to her chest. Her neck protested the sudden movement and voiced its displeasure loudly. Her other hand came up to cradle the back of her neck as she tried to sit up straight. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest and she took several deep breaths to calm herself. A Code Blue announcement was coming across the overhead speakers and she could hear what sounded like a small commotion coming from outside the door in the hallway.

"Mom, are you alright?" she heard Rory ask.

She looked up and saw her mother and daughter staring down at her with concern and for a minute she had no idea where she was or why she was there. Then she spotted Dr. Saunders standing behind them and it all came rushing back to her. She stood up quickly, grabbing Rory's hand tightly in hers. Emily stood on the other side of Rory and she saw her daughter wrap her free arm through her mother's.

"Well," Emily demanded impatiently, when the doctor didn't speak right away. "How is he? Can I see him?" Lorelai's heart tumbled in fear at his initial silence as he glanced at each of them.

Oh God…

Her heart did a flip that would have rivaled even Mary Lou Retton and her feet were suddenly unsteady beneath her. She tightened her hold on Rory's hand and held her breath as she waited for him to change their lives forever.

He then smiled at them all, saying the words she had feared she'd never hear.

"I'm very happy to report that Richard came through the surgery just fine. Things took a little longer than we initially expected but there's nothing to worry about. He's going to be just fine."

"Oh thank God," Rory breathed, leaning in to her mother's shoulder. They exchanged relieved grins.

"Can I see him?" Emily demanded once more, her voice rough and shaky.

"Soon. He's being moved into the ICU at the moment where we'll monitor him for the next 24 hours. Providing he comes through that without any problems, he'll be moved into his own room at that point."

"When can he come home?" Emily asked.

"It all depends on how he does over the next day or two but generally we like to keep bypass patients here a minimum of 72 hours. We'll just have to wait and see at this point. But I suspect a man of Richard's overall good health will recover fairly swiftly."

"That's good," Lorelai said. "Isn't that good news, Mom?" Emily nodded silently, her features still grim and worried. Lorelai, however, was all smiles. She was grateful and relieved that things seemed to be ok. She could feel herself trembling from the tension and adrenaline her body had been dealing with since Rory's initial phone call earlier that morning begin to seep out of her at last.

"Richard's not out of the woods just yet, of course," Dr. Saunders warned, albeit gently. "But the immediate danger is over. There will be restrictions in the coming weeks and months and he will need to adhere to these strictly if he wants to avoid a reoccurrence. But we'll talk more about those later, once he's awake and coherent."

"Of course," Emily nodded. "I'll see to it that he follows everything he's told."

Dr. Saunders gave them another smile, directing them towards the ICU waiting room and letting them know they could wait there and someone would let them know when they could go in and see him. He then shook their hands and left them alone once again.

Rory hugged her grandmother and Lorelai smiled at the scene, this time sans jealousy. She rested a hand on Emily's arm and her mother simply smiled in return as she returned Rory's hug.

"Well, then," Emily said, pulling away stiffly. "If memory serves, this place had terrible accommodations in those pathetic waste of spaces they call rooms."

Lorelai and Rory grinned at each other in amusement as Emily ranted about flat pillows and scratchy sheets. They watched her storm off in irritation, having worked herself up into a tizzy. They shared a laugh and hugged each other tight.

"I'm so happy," Rory breathed into her ear, bouncing a little on her toes.

"I know, kid, me too," she replied, allowing a few tears to escape.

Lorelai looked up at the clock and realized it had been nearly two hours since her father had gone into surgery. It felt like it had been two days. She couldn't believe how exhausted she suddenly felt. Not to mention hungry. She realized she was starving, actually. Lorelai remembered the bag of junk food Luke had brought and grabbed it from under one of the chairs. She began to dig around.

"Ooh, I forgot! Gimme, gimme!" Rory laughed, trying to grab the bag.

Lorelai snatched it out of her reach. "Not so fast!" she warned with a grin. "Wait your turn."

"Moooom," Rory whined. "You're supposed to feed your children first, you know. It's only right. Like you give your kids oxygen first on a plane. Don't be selfish!"

"Rory, you know I would give my life for you. I'd dive into an ocean full of sharks for you. I'd loan you my kidney!" Lorelai paused. "Wait, I'd give you my kidney. I don't think I'd want it back afterwards. Feel free to keep it."

"Good to know," Rory said, glaring playfully at her mom.

"I'd do pretty much anything for you, my child. My heart. My life. But do NOT, under any circumstances, get between me and my Ding Dongs. You'd do better against the sharks, my dear."

Lorelai resumed searching the bag, oohing and ahhing at the delicious, fattening, destined-to-have-her-bouncing-off-the-walls-all-night, sugary wonders. She was so focused on deciding amongst the many choices she didn't notice Rory until it was too late.

"Hey!" she yelled as the bag was cruelly snatched from her hands. Rory danced away, hiding the bag behind her back, grinning in victory.

"Hah! Never underestimate a starving kid," she warned with a smile.

"Mean!" Lorelai whined, pouting. "I birthed you. I gave you life. I suffered hours of agonizing pain for you. And you treat me like this? I'm hurt! I'm shocked! I'm…"

"A little bit proud?" Rory broke in with a smile.

"Excuse me?"

"You were the person who taught me to go after whatever I wanted and to not let anyone stand in the way, remember?"

"Hmph. I remember no such thing," she said, crossing her arms in front of her and glaring at her daughter.

"Tough," Rory said, digging through the bag with glee. She ignored her mother who continued to pout in front of her. Lorelai sidled up slowly next to her daughter, placing her chin on her shoulder.

"Not gonna work, Mom," Rory said with amusement. "You had your chance to share and you didn't. Price you pay for selfishness."

Lorelai didn't move and instead continued to rest her chin on her Rory's shoulder as she eyed the contents of the bag. She then pulled out the big guns. She whimpered.

"Oh, for crying out loud. Here," Rory said, shoving the bag at her mother and turning away.

"Hah!" Lorelai cried in victory. "I win!" She held the bag above her head in triumph.

"You are ridiculous, you know that?" Rory rolled her eyes but was unable to hold back a laugh. She watched her mother for a few moments with a fond smile.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" Lorelai asked. "I know I'm very nice to look at, but seriously, it's a little creepy."

"I just haven't seen you smile in awhile, that's all."

Lorelai looked at her strangely. She flopped herself down in one of the chairs. "What are you talking about? I smile all the time. I am a veritable fountain of smiles. I'm practically my own Disney character."

"No, not really," Rory said quietly, sitting down next to her mother. She turned her body so that she was facing her mother, tucking one leg underneath her, and leaned her arm across the back of their chairs. "You go through the motions but it's not real."

"Rory," Lorelai admonished, "that's not true. I'm happy."

"If you say so," she said, clearly unconvinced.

"I am! I swear it."

"Stop lying to me, Mom!" Rory yelled, slamming her hand against the back of the chair. Her sharp tone surprised even her, causing the nearby occupants in the room to stare up at her in alarm. She hadn't meant to raise her voice and she didn't know where the anger had come from.

Lorelai stared at her daughter, incredulous. "What?"

"I'm sorry for yelling, but you've been miserable for months. And don't tell me that you and Dad are happy and life is perfect. I know it is not!"

"Rory, honey," Lorelai interrupted, reaching out to touch her daughter's arm. "Where is this coming from?"

"I just don't understand it, Mom. I don't understand how you can just act all fine and life is grand when I know you're hurting. I know you're miserable. Why do you feel you have to hide it from me?"

Lorelai didn't know how to immediately respond so she remained silent. She stared down at the bag in her lap, playing idly with the plastic. She wanted to refute her daughter's claims, convince her she was very happy and life was grand. She was married, to her daughter's father. She finally had that elusive "whole package" she'd wanted for so long. No, it didn't happen quite like she had been expecting. Or it wasn't with who she had been expecting was more like it. But she loved Chris, she knew that was true. She wasn't lying about that.

"I know how you felt about Luke," Rory continued, her voice soft and full of emotion. "I've never seen you as happy as you were with him. There is no way you could have just forgotten all of that!"

Lorelai felt a spark of anger ignite with the mention of Luke. "Why does everyone keep bringing him up? Luke didn't want me. He didn't want to marry me. End of story."

"That is so not the end of the story and you know it!" Rory interjected.

Lorelai continued as if she hadn't heard. "So I moved on. Am I not allowed to do that? Am I supposed to spend my days and nights crying into my pillow like some pathetic fool because my life didn't go the way everyone expected it to?"

Rory was stunned by the force behind her mother's words. "Of course not," she said quietly. "But did you even deal with it at all? It was mere weeks after you two broke up that you were dating Dad. And then you married him so fast. I just…"

"Of course I dealt with it," Lorelai interrupted. "You saw me dealing with it, sobbing on the couch after he told me we were never meant to be. Remember that?" Lorelai replied a bit sarcastically. She knew she was overreacting. The stress of the day was simply catching up to all of them now that the worst deemed to be over. i Crisis averted, time to make a new one. /i She told herself to calm down and stop taking it out on her kid, who she knew was only worried about her.

"One night. That's all I saw. One night. You were going to marry Luke, Mom! That's not just something you get over in one night!"

Lorelai stood up suddenly, the sugary goods spilling out as the bag fell onto the floor. She'd never been one to listen very well, even to herself. She walked a few steps away, hands on her hips, breathing deeply for a few seconds. She pretended not to notice the couple sitting nearby discreetly picking up their things and hurrying out of the room. She turned back to Rory, who had remained seated. She crossed her arms across her chest.

"What did you expect me to do, huh? Sit around and mope for days on end? I grieved and then moved on as best I could. I'm sorry it wasn't within an acceptable enough of a time frame for you or anyone else. But there is no crime in moving on."

"The only crime is you lying to yourself. And to Dad."

"What have I lied about?" Lorelai cried incredulously.

"I don't know, you're feelings for him maybe?"

"I love Christopher. I am not lying about that!"

In the heat of the argument, neither noticed they were being watched again, this time by Emily. She stood silently outside the door to the waiting room that had been left slightly ajar. She kept herself hidden as she listened to the heated exchange.

"Why do you love him, Mom? Because without him, you wouldn't have me? Is that it? Is it just childhood nostalgia for what once was? Can you honestly tell me you love him with all your heart? Out of all the choices of men in this world, Dad is the one you would have chosen to spend the rest of your life with? Even now, with everything that has happened with…?"

"Rory," Lorelai interrupted, rubbing her forehead. "Come on," she begged.

"No, Mom. I know you. I know you better than you know yourself. You are not happy. I know what that looks like, remember? I want you to stop trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you are! Just stop pretending!"

"What do you want me to say, Rory?" Lorelai yelled, not caring who heard. "That I married your father because I was afraid of being alone? That nobody else in this world would ever love me? Is that what you want to hear?!"

Rory stood up slowly. She felt her heart break for her mother, knowing how much she was hurting inside. Quietly, her vision clouding as she focused her eyes on the floor, she said, "If it's the truth, then yes, Mom, that is exactly what I want you to say."

When her mother didn't respond, she finally glanced up at her. Their eyes locked and they stared at each other for countless seconds, unmoving.

When it became clear neither was going to back down anytime soon, Emily strode quickly into the room. "Well, your father's room is ready. I should start carrying necessary provisions in the trunk of my car just in case. For crying out loud, they charge you an arm and a leg just to walk through the front doors, you would think they could afford to adorn their rooms with decent amenities."

Emily pretended to not notice the tension between the two as she continued. "They're about to bring him back to his room. Follow me, please," she said, turning on her heel.

They continued to stare at one another before Emily called out sharply "Now!" Looking away, Lorelai motioned her head towards her mother's retreating form. Without another glance, Rory turned and followed silently.

Lorelai stared after her for a minute, breathing deep and trying to calm down. She bent down and began picking up the spilled bag of snacks on the floor, wondering briefly how her life had gotten so messed up so quickly.

She stood up slowly and ran a hand through her hair distractedly. After taking one last deep breath, she hurried down the hall to catch up.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been several hours since Richard had been brought back to the ICU. Emily had been granted permission to remain by his side as well as stay overnight. Lorleai and Rory were permitted in only once every hour for a limited amount of time. So the girls camped out in the waiting room for the rest of the afternoon. The doctor had come and gone, reporting that Richard's progression was going very well. He was starting to come fully out of the anesthesia and Emily had reported he had spoken a few brief sentences to her during those times. But mostly, he just slept.

The first time Lorelai entered his room, he had still been asleep. She stood there next to his bed for several minutes and just watched him breathe. He looked so frail. His skin was pale and he was very still. Too still. If it weren't for the fact the machines were beeping and his chest was rising and falling, she would have been sure they had lied to her about the surgery being successful.

When Emily had stepped out awhile later, claiming she needed to freshen up a bit, Lorelai went in to sit with him. It took a few minutes to gather her courage but she eventually reached out, tentatively covering his hand with her own. At the sudden contact, his eyes fluttered open briefly and his head turned slightly in her direction. Their gazes locked for mere seconds but for Lorelai, it had felt like an eternity passed. Her eyes filled with tears and she gave him a watery smile. Before she could speak, his eyes drifted closed once more. However, before succumbing to sleep, she felt the tiniest amount of pressure on her hand. She choked back a sob at the simple gesture that held so much meaning for her and had the nurse not entered at that moment, she's sure she would have had Emotional Breakdown #2 there at his bedside.

She quickly left the room to rejoin Rory in the waiting room, quickly wiping her eyes in an attempt to compose herself. On her way, she met Emily in the hallway speaking with an older gentleman Lorelai recognized as her parents' primary care giver, Dr. Joshua Reynolds. She wasn't sure when Emily had called him but her only surprise was that it had taken her this long to do so. He assured Emily that Richard was in excellent hands and she had nothing to worry about in that sense. He smiled a polite hello to Lorelai before heading off to track down Dr. Saunders.

As he walked off, Lorelai felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Surprised, she dug it out and checked the Caller ID, expecting to see Christopher's name displayed. It had been approximately six hours since her last harshly worded message to him so she figured he was finally calming down enough to check his voice mail. At least, she thought grimly, he had better not have checked voice mail prior and simply ignored the situation. That was a situation she didn't even want to contemplate.

Instead, what she saw was Luke's name. In all the chaos since he'd left, she'd almost forgotten about him. She wondered idly as she pushed the talk button why she had never removed his name and number from her contact list. Surely it would be considered inappropriate to keep her former lover's contact information considering her current marriage. A simple oversight, she told herself as she answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Lorelai, it's Luke," he said. His voice sounded tired.

"Hey Luke, you've been gone awhile. Did you have trouble at the house?" Lorelai saw Emily glance over at her with surprise and apparently, she wasn't the only one to have forgotten about Luke's errand. She motioned for Emily to go back to Richard's room and shockingly, she did just that but not before a pointed look in her direction.

"No trouble. But I somehow got suckered into driving this woman around town all day."

"What are you talking about? What was wrong with her car?" Lorelai asked. The nurse stationed at the desk a few feet away motioned to the "Cell Phones Allowed in the Waiting Room Only" sign and Lorelai waved her understanding, mouthing an apology as she hurried off. She made her way down to the room as Luke began to describe his afternoon. She stopped in surprise as she saw they had a new addition to their group. Rory was sitting on the small loveseat that sat against the far wall, her head resting against Logan's shoulder. His arm was wrapped protectively around her and they were whispering quietly. Logan gave her a slight wave as she entered the room and she nodded in his direction, giving him a small smile in return.

"Nothing. Nothing whatsoever," Luke was saying on the other end of the line. "But she had no idea how to get to the catering appointment Emily had asked her to attend. I had a general idea of the area so I attempted to draw her a map. By the way, I never thought I'd meet someone as directions impaired as you but I have now. So congratulations. How this woman manages to get out of her own driveway each day is a mystery I'd really love to see solved. But since it was mostly on the way back to the hospital, I offered to let her follow me part way there."

"Sounds reasonable," Lorelai offered with amusement, as she leaned against the wall, watching her daughter being comforted by her boyfriend. She was not jealous one bit of her daughter and nobody could ever make her admit otherwise. She tuned back into Luke's rant with a slight frown.

"Tell that to this woman! Because she then had the nerve to ask if I'd just drive her there myself because she'd just had her nails done and in her hurry to get over to the house, she'd already smudged the polish on her left pinky. You would have thought she'd run over small children on her way here, she was carrying on so much. There was simply no time to go back and get it repaired, she assured me about seven times, as she had a function to attend with her husband later that night and just could not bear to have them ruined any more. By the way, apparently I need my eyes checked because when I mentioned I thought her nails looked perfect, she told me I was blind as a bat."

Lorelai smothered a laugh as his rant continued, which included the snobbery, idiocy and cluelessness of the elite upper class. After finally agreeing to personally chaperone the woman around town, she then realized they'd be taking Luke's truck. He said Tilda didn't even try to hide the distaste she felt at that and actually asked Luke if he would drive her BMW, to which he of course adamantly refused.

"The only pleasure I got out of this entire day was the horrified look on the woman's face the entire trip there and back," Luke said, laughing a little in spite of himself. "She actually scrunched down in her seat whenever we came to a stop sign or a light. So I tried to linger as much as possible, just because."

"Aww, you poor thing!" Lorelai said, laughing out loud. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that today. But we all appreciate it, Luke. So much." Lorelai hoped her voice conveyed the appreciation adequately. She still couldn't believe he had even shown up today to begin with.

"It's ok, I was glad to help," he said. "So, how is your Dad? He should be out of surgery by now, right?"

"Yeah, he's been out a couple of hours now. He's doing fine. The surgery went well and they've got him in the ICU at the moment. But he should be out of there into his own room by tomorrow afternoon, they believe."

"That's great, Lorelai. I'm so relieved to hear that." Lorelai could hear the sincerity in Luke's voice and the depth of feeling behind his words was almost overwhelming.

"Yeah," she said quietly, clearing her throat. "So, where are you now? Back at the diner?"

"No, I'm actually pulling into the hospital parking lot."

"You are? Luke, you didn't have to come back."

"I wanted to. Plus, I have your mother's keys. I'm surprised she hasn't had the cops out for me for having them this long."

Lorelai laughed and told him she didn't even think she'd noticed the time. Things had been so crazy all afternoon and they'd all lost track of what was going on. Lorelai gave him directions to get to the ICU and they hung up. Lorelai stared down at the phone in her hands, not moving from her perch against the wall. Rory saw the bittersweet smile on her mother's face and her heart went out to her.

Lorelai sensed she was being watched and looked up to see her daughter's eyes trained on her and she snapped back to reality. She pondered trying to call Christopher again but she shoved that aside, not wanting to deal with him right now even if he did answer his phone. She made a mental note, however, to check on Gigi after Luke left.

She put the phone back into her pocket and walked over to join the duo snuggling together on the couch. She sat down in one of the chairs across from it.

"So, Luke's on his way back?" Rory asked, trying to be casual.

Lorelai wasn't fooled and she narrowed her eyes in response. "Yes, and please don't go there."

"Go where?" Rory asked innocently.

"Where your highly intelligent yet-semi-annoying brain wants to go. I'm too worn out for another fight," Lorelai said with a sigh, rubbing her temples.

"No fights, I promise," Rory assured her. "Hey, look who showed up?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said, smiling at Logan. "I see that. Hey Logan. It's nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you, too, Lorelai," Logan said with a concerned smile. "Sorry it's under these circumstances."

"Yeah," Lorelai said quietly. "Thanks." She checked her watch and saw that it was past 5:00 already. "You know, we should talk about getting some dinner soon. I bet Mom would like to get away for a bit."

"Yeah, I'm starved. We finished off the junk food over an hour ago."

At that moment, Luke entered the room carrying a bag of something that smelled suspiciously like cheeseburgers. Lorelai's stomach rumbled at the heavenly aroma and she sat up straight.

"Hey, Luke," Rory called out, waving him over.

"Hi," he greeted the girls, giving a questioning look in Logan's direction. "Logan, right?"

Logan stood up and held out his hand to Luke. After setting down the bag, he accepted the offered hand and the two shook. "Yes, sir," Logan said. "Nice seeing you again."

Luke nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back slightly on his heels. Lorelai noted with some amusement that Luke had a slight glare adorning his features as he regarded the young adults before him. To Logan's credit, he looked a little uncomfortable under Luke's intense gaze. She recalled with some fondness the last time Luke and Logan, well, met and had to stifle a laugh. Luke's protectiveness of Rory had always endeared him to her and that certainly hadn't changed. It was heartening to know that no matter what happened between them, his affection for her daughter remained high as always.

The four stared at each other for a minute, Rory glancing between Luke and Logan with her lips pursed slightly and giving Lorelai a raised eyebrow, clearly begging her to do something.

"Oh Luuuuuke?" Lorelai said suddenly, her voice raising an octave or two.

"Huh?" Luke muttered, dragging his focus away from the pair to look over at Lorelai, who was eyeing the bag at his feet with a look that clearly indicated an attack was imminent.

"Whatcha got in there?" she asked, trying to sound casual and failing.

"Well, I figured you guys probably hadn't had much at all to eat today so I got some take out from the restaurant across the street. You don't have to eat it if you don't…"

Luke hadn't even finished speaking before Lorelai had snatched the bag and was eagerly pulling out the contents.

"Come to Mama," she called happily as she unwrapped the greasy food before her.

"Gee, Mom, share with the rest of the class, why don't you?" Rory teased, sitting up straight. "Can we even eat in here?"

"I don't see a sign anywhere," Lorelai said, not even pretending to look around. She took a huge bite out of the burger and made sounds bordering on indecent. Luke, Rory and Logan exchanged amused glances.

"Good enough for me," Rory said, standing up. "I'll go get Grandma, see if she wants to eat."

Lorelai's mouth was too full to answer and she waved her on. Luke looked over to Logan and smiled an apology. "Sorry, Logan, I only brought enough for the three of them. I would have brought something for you if I had known you were here."

"It's quite alright," Logan assured him, waving off his concern. "I'll grab something later."

"I could go and get more," Luke offered. "It's just across the street."

"No need, no need," Logan said. "But thank you for the offer. I appreciate it."

"Well, if you change your mind," Luke said, turning around and sitting down in the chair next to Lorelai.

"Thank you, I will."

The room fell into silence for a moment until Logan spoke. "Actually, I really do need to make a call. When I got Rory's message a few hours ago, I kind of left everything at the office in a bit of a mess. I should go check in and take care of some things. If you'll let Rory know that I'll be back?" With Lorelai's nod, Logan left the room.

Luke's gaze wandered around the room before settling on Lorelai. His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her devour her food.

"Mwhah?" she said, glancing up at him.

"Swallow," Luke advised. "Before you choke."

She made a big show of chewing and swallowing. "At least I'm in the right place for it," she quipped as she grabbed some fries from the bag.

Luke winced slightly, looking down at his shoes. "Don't even joke about such a thing," Luke murmured.

Lorelai's smile faded and she nodded. "Right. Sorry"

Luke waved her concern away, not really sure where the mood had come from.

"So, Luke," Lorelai asked after another minute of silence, "moment of truth. Why are you here?"

"What do you mean? I told you, I wanted to help."

"Right," Lorelai nodded, looking at a spot on the wall across from them. "You wanted to help. Me. Just because?"

Luke shifted uncomfortably, his hands straying to fiddle with his cap. "I know what it's like to have a sick parent. When I heard, well, I remember how upset you were the last time and was concerned about you. And Rory. That's all."

Lorelai stared at him for a long moment without speaking. She honestly didn't know how she was feeling. She sighed and took a bite of her fries and chewed thoughtfully.

"You know, I shouldn't be here," Luke said suddenly, standing up. "I'm sorry, you're right. This probably isn't a good idea. I guess I just didn't think. I mean, Christopher could have been here and that wouldn't have been very good if I'd shown up with him here. Where is he anyway? Why isn't he here with you? Anyway, he will probably be here soon, right? I should get out of here before he gets here."

"Luke," Lorelai called out to him, hurriedly tossing the uneaten portions of her meal onto her chair and standing up. "Wait!"

Luke was walking towards the door, his eyes glancing back at her over his shoulder. "I'm really glad your father's going to be ok. Please, do let me know how he's doing and if there is anything I can do, I will. Just ask."

"Luke!" Lorelai called out firmly. "Stop!"

Luke stopped at the doorway and turned to face her.

"I didn't mean you couldn't be here. I'm…I'm glad you're here," Lorelai said, unable to meet his gaze as suddenly her shoes became the most fascinating thing on the planet to her.

"It's meant a lot to have you here like this," she finally continued after a long pause. "You've done so much for my mother for one thing, which frankly if you hadn't been here I don't know what would have happened. I might have strangled her and then I'd have two parents in the hospital and one is stressful enough. So really, it's good you came." Lorelai finally looked up to gage his reaction. Luke stood still, hands shoved deep into his pockets and he stared down at the ground.

Lorelai took a few steps closer to him so that they were standing toe to toe. She placed her hand tentatively on his arm and his eyes slowly followed her movements before looking back up into her eyes. His expression was unreadable as he regarded her.

"Thank you, Luke" she whispered, tears stinging the back of her eyes. "You're too good to me, you know?"

Luke shook his head. "No, Lorelai. I'm just doing what I do. This is what I do," he said, a slight shrug to his shoulders but his voice soft and low.

"Right," Lorelai whispered. "Well, thanks." They stared at each other without speaking, Lorelai's heart beating a little faster in her chest. Warning bells suddenly began to sound and she jumped, believing for a second they weren't actually in her mind. Realizing their close proximity, she dropped her hand from his arm and instantly missed the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his flannel-clad sleeve. She took several long strides away from him and she heard him clear his throat softly. She wrung her hands together, at a loss for what to say next. Thankfully, she didn't have to.

"Hello again, Luke," Emily said, appearing in the doorway and brushing past him into the room with Rory a few steps behind.

"Oh, Emily, hello," Luke said.

"How did things go at the house? Did Tilda get the plans alright?"

"Oh yes, ma'am, we found everything without issue," he said, digging in his pocket. He held out the keys to her, which she accepted and placed in her purse.

"Good," Emily said with a nod. "I want to thank you for doing that for me today. It was very kind of you."

"Anytime," he said with a smile. "I was glad to be able to help."

Lorelai noticed that Rory was glancing around the room in confusion.

"Logan's making a call. He'll be back," Lorelai told her from her place across the room.

"Oh, thanks," Rory said as she began to unpack the rest of the food.

"Logan is here? Well, isn't that nice," Emily commented, nodding her appreciation. She looked to Lorelai then, a question on her face that Lorelai clearly understood. Instead of responding, she looked down at the ground.

"Grandma, the food is getting cold," Rory said, waving her over.

Emily saw the remnants of Lorelai's cheeseburger sitting on the chair and wasn't even aware of the obvious distaste visible on her face. "Oh, thank you, Rory," Emily said, waving her hand. "But I think I'm not all that hungry after all."

"Actually, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke said, walking over to the bag. "I didn't think cheeseburgers were exactly your thing so I got you a grilled chicken salad instead. I wasn't sure what kind of dressing you liked so I had them throw in one of everything. I thought that might be more appetizing to you. I would have gotten it for all three of you except I knew at least one person in this room would refuse to eat at all if that's all I had brought so I went with the tried and true for these two."

Emily nodded with appreciation. "Thank you Luke," she said, sincere. "That does sound better. That was very thoughtful of you."

Lorelai watched the exchange from her stance from the other side of the room. Rory and Emily sat down next to each other and were talking quietly as they ate. She noticed Luke watching her and she looked away quickly. She walked over to another row of chairs nearby and sat down. She perched her elbows on her knees. She wasn't surprised when Luke came and joined in the seat next to hers. He mirrored her posture and looked at her sideways.

Lorelai suddenly remembered something he'd said earlier that day. "Luke," she said quietly, turning to look over at him briefly. "What were you coming to talk to me about?"

"What do you mean?" he asked with confusion.

"Earlier. When you said you went to the Inn to talk to me, before you knew about my father. What were you wanting to tell me?"

"Oh, right," he recalled with a nod. "I was coming to thank you, actually."

"For what?" she asked, this time it was her turn to not understand.

"You know, the letter, what you said in it," he replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Realization dawned and she whispered softly, "Oh, right. The letter." Her fight with Christopher suddenly sprang to mind again and she bit her lip.

"Lorelai, what you said in there, I can't," Luke paused, unsure exactly what he wanted to say. "I can't tell you what it meant to me to hear. Really. Thank you seems so inadequate. It's just…simple. Too simple for what you did for me. But it will have to do because it's all I know to say. So thank you."

While he rambled his appreciation towards her, Lorelai watched as he removed his hat in a gesture so familiar to her it made her almost ache. She found herself completely mesmerized by this man in front of her, watching as he combed his fingers through his soft, thinning hair, and then replacing the cap firmly on his head. She had to push back the almost overwhelming urge to replace his fingers with her own. Instead, she closed her eyes but that only made her more attune to his smell, his own personal unique scent that was always a surprisingly pleasant mixture of grease, bleach and, well, something that was just plain Luke. She inhaled slightly, reminiscing briefly in the feelings that particular scent provoked inside of her. As quickly as she had closed them, though, her eyes popped back open. _So inappropriate_, she scolded herself. _Get a hold of yourself!_

"Um, you're welcome," she managed to say, her tone surprisingly steady despite the extremely unsteadiness of her insides. She looked up at him suddenly. "Wait, so does that mean you've had the hearing already?"

Luke nodded. "Yesterday actually."

"Oh, wow! That was fast! Well? What happened?" Lorelai eagerly asked, leaning forward in her seat.

Luke smiled. She didn't think she'd ever seen him smile quite that big and it was apparently contagious as she felt her own face light up in a matching one.

"I won," he said simply.

Later, she would try to analyze why she did what she did next, what made her step so far out of the appropriate boundaries of the situation and act in such an inappropriate way. But for that brief moment in time, she simply acted.

Lorelai threw her arms around his neck and squealed. Luke's arms came around her to rest on her back and he hugged her tightly in return. She could feel him laughing, a low and throaty laugh that reverberated through her chest, traveling on to places within her she tried hard to ignore. The feel of his body touching hers again after all this time was not unlike being hit by lightning. She pressed her face into his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent, her body melting at the memories it provoked. She felt his arms tighten around her momentarily and she almost whimpered in response. For a brief second in time, she felt like she was home.

The only times Lorelai ever allowed her guard to be let down, even for just a second, was late at night when everyone else was asleep. The days were filled with as many distractions as she could come up with, convincing thoughts that she was happy, she had a family she loved. Christopher, for all of his faults, cared about her, loved her completely and she knew all he wanted was to make her happy. It was easy during the day to convince the world that he did just that.

It was the nights, however, that were her downfall. Nights when she awoke for no reason and could not go back to sleep. It was only then she would let her thoughts stray to him, just for a moment. She would remember what it felt like to have him sleeping next to her and it would leave her aching from the loss of his embrace. The feeling of utter peace and contentment being cocooned within his arms gave her was one she didn't think she'd ever be able to duplicate with another for as long as she lived.

She would lie there during her weakest moments and allow herself to remember the nights past. Christopher's arm wrapped around her middle was heavy and confining, his breath hot and uncomfortable on the back of her neck. And in one momentary second of weakness, a moment born out of sheer wistfulness she couldn't control, she would pretend it was a different man spooned behind her. Immediately, she would be filled with shame but for that one brief nanosecond of time, she would pretend. And simply relish in the feelings of safety that washed over her.

Realization dawned on her now, though, that she was not lying in bed pretending. This was real. This was happening. This was wrong. _But it feels so right,_ she couldn't help but think as she slowly pulled away from him. Her smile didn't fade, however, as she looked him in the eyes.

"I'm so happy for you, Luke" she said sincerely, allowing one hand to remain on his arm. "You deserve no less. That little girl doesn't have any idea what she missed out on by not having you around growing up. But she's damn lucky to have found you now. She's better for it. I know it. And hopefully Anna will know it eventually, too."

Luke nodded, suddenly shy and a little uncomfortable, especially with the realization that they were not alone. Glancing around the room, he noticed Emily and Rory both staring at them. Emily had nothing less than disapproval lining her features and Rory had a sad, wistful smile on hers.

"Thanks," he said, looking back over at Lorelai. "Really, that means a lot to hear you say."

Lorelai just smiled, her eyes glancing over at her family before landing back on him. "You're welcome," she said with a quiet laugh, finally removing her hand from his arm.

Nobody noticed that someone had been watching them through the small window on the door. And as quietly as he had come, Christopher disappeared.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I had hoped to be much further along with this by the time tonight's episode aired so there wasn't as much confusion over the events in the story versus what we're seeing on screen (mainly for my benefit as I hadn't wanted to confuse real on-screen stuff with what was already in my head). Ah, c'est la vie I guess. :)_

_So with that said...on with the story.  
_

Not long after finishing their dinner, Emily and Rory went back in to see Richard, leaving Lorelai and Luke alone in the waiting room. Emily held the door open for Rory but before she followed after her granddaughter, she turned and gave Lorelai a look of disapproval. Lorelai knew without having seen that her mother had noticed their hug a few minutes before and was not thrilled about it. It was a hug, she thought with a little annoyance. There was no law that said two people couldn't remain friends after breaking up, no matter the circumstances.

But a tiny little voice reminded her that the hug had gone a little over the friendship line, at least on her end, as she recalled the feelings that coursed through her the second she felt Luke's arms around her. Christopher's words rang in her ear again, how he knew that she wasn't through with Luke yet and how she was simply marking time being married to him. Even if that were true, which it wasn't she told herself, there was no hope for Luke and her again. She'd effectively killed that long ago. All she had tried to do was find some margin of happiness for herself with someone who loved and cared for her. Was that so wrong, she wondered?

The door shut behind them softly and the room was blissfully silent. Lorelai sighed heavily and put her head in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Hey," Luke said, his voice full of concern. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she said, turning her head to look at him. "I'm fine. Just…tired."

"Sure," he said. "That's understandable. It's been a long day."

"Longest," she said with another sigh and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her palms on her jeans. She looked over at Luke and smiled.

"You know, I should probably get going soon," he said after a moment.

Her smile faltered slightly but she quickly recovered. "Oh, of course."

He looked over at the door and then back at Lorelai. "I'll stay a few more minutes. I'd like to say goodbye to Rory."

Lorelai smiled. "Ahh, she'd like that. She should be back soon. They don't allow us back there for very long at a time."

Luke nodded and said that was fine, he wasn't in a hurry. After another brief moment of silence, he asked how things were going at the inn. She asked about the diner but that made the both of them slightly more uncomfortable since it drew to the surface that Lorelai had not been there in months. Luke covered nicely by relating the latest Taylor debacle over the upcoming Valentine festivities and the proper town business decorations. Lorelai couldn't help the laugh that escaped at the image of Luke's Diner decked out with giant red paper hearts hanging from the ceiling displaying "Be Mine" in all their glittered glory.

When the small talk ran out, the two lapsed into silence once more. Lorelai felt frustrated by their inability to keep an even level of comfort between them. They used to be friends. Even before their romantic relationship took a dive, they were always friends first and foremost. It was obvious to her that he wanted to regain some of that friendship back with her. Otherwise, she thought to herself, he wouldn't be here, right?

But what Lorelai wanted to desperately ask him was how he could possibly be sitting here next to her like he was. How he could possibly care a thing about her still. How he could be so nonchalant about all that had gone on with Christopher. She practically chewed her bottom lip to pieces to keep those questions from seeing the light of day as she hated to destroy what small amount of cordiality they had going between them, awkward at times as it may be.

When she couldn't stand the silence any longer, she asked Luke if he'd excuse her a minute while she made a call. "I need to check on Gigi before she goes to bed," she paused and looked down at her watch, "if I'm not too late. Damn!" she muttered as she walked a few steps away.

As she waited for Babette to pick up, Rory came back into the room with Logan. Rory whispered something to Logan and he nodded and walked over to the loveseat. Rory walked over to Luke and sat down beside him. Lorelai watched as they spoke quietly. She couldn't tell what Rory was saying, but Luke was suddenly acting shy and awkward. She smiled to herself at how her kid could always turn that grown man into an instant puddle.

"Hello," Morey answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey, Morey," Lorelai said. "It's Lorelai. I just wanted to try to catch Gigi before she went to bed. Am I too late?"

"Babette took her over to your house about ten minutes ago. If you call over there now, you might be able to catch her."

"Alright. Thanks again for watching her," Lorelai said. "It helped me out tremendously."

"It's cool," he said. "Cute kid," he added.

Lorelai laughed and bid him a good night. She then quickly dialed her home number.

"Hey Babette," Lorelai said when Babette answered. "Has Gigi gone to sleep yet?"

"Hey doll! Not yet. She's brushing her teeth, though, so you just caught us."

"Oh good," Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. "I promised I'd call her before she went to bed."

"Oh I been telling her you would call, sugah. Babette is always right!" Lorelai felt a pang at that comment, upset with herself for not calling sooner and making the little girl worry she'd been forgotten about. She felt another jolt of anger shoot through her at Christopher for doing this to her. "How's your father?"

"Oh, he's doing better. He'll be out of the ICU by tomorrow afternoon they're saying. They're very impressed with his recovery already."

"Oh that's good to hear, doll," Babette said. "Here's the cutie-pie now. Let me put her on."

Lorelai could hear Babette telling Gigi who was on the phone and then her small voice came on the other end of the line.

"Hey, kid, how's it going?" Lorelai said cheerfully.

"Ok."

"What did you do today? Anything fun?"

"Uh huh. I played with the kitty."

"You did? Were you gentle with the kitty?"

"Uh huh."

Lorelai smiled to herself. She knew first hand what Gigi's version of gentle was with pets. "What else did you do?"

"We went to the park and I slidded down the slide!" Gigi said, her voice rising in excitement.

"Oh wow, that sounds like one action packed day you had!"

"Yeah," Gigi was suddenly quiet again and Lorelai could hear the small child breathing into the phone. "Are you coming home now?"

"Not just yet. But soon. I'll be home when you wake up tomorrow, though," Lorelai promised.

"And Daddy?"

Lorelai paused, unsure exactly what to promise this kid with Christopher currently MIA. "I don't know, babe. Daddy probably has to work so he might have to leave before you wake up. But I will definitely be there."

"Ok," the little girl said softly.

"Alright, hon, sleep tight, ok? Babette will be with you until I can get home tonight."

Gigi handed the phone back over to Babette and she told her she'd be home in a few hours. They traded goodbyes and Lorelai walked over to rejoin Luke and Rory.

"Things ok?" Rory asked.

"Yep, things are fine," Lorelai assured her with a nod. If only she actually believed it.

Luke stood up and gave her a small smile. "Well," he said, "I should take off. Check and make sure my diner is still standing and all. And that Caesar didn't reinstate that ridiculous frozen bananas crap."

"I don't know, Luke," she said teasingly. "Not much a delicious frozen banana won't cure I've found."

Luke rolled his eyes in response and Rory laughed. "That sounds kind of good, Mom. Maybe we should stop by on the way home, pick us up some. Some of Luke's coffee would be good, too. The hospital coffee sucks!"

Rory's request to go to the diner brought the conversation to a pretty sudden halt. She realized what she had said after the words had left her mouth and she threw her mom an apologetic look.

"Hey," Lorelai said, unable to look directly at Luke. "I'll walk you out," she said, heading to the door.

"Oh, sure, ok," Luke said, following behind her. He called out "Nice seeing you again," to Logan who returned the acknowledgement with a wave.

"Wait," Rory said. "I'll come, too." She looked over at Logan and he waved her on and told her he'd stay there. She hurried after her mom and Luke and they walked slowly through the hospital together. When they finally reached the front doors leading out to the main parking lot, they stood regarding each other for a moment, nobody sure what to say.

Lorelai finally broke the silence by giving him a smile. "Thanks so much, Luke, for all your help today," she said sincerely. "It was really above and beyond, you know?"

"Really, Lorelai, it was nothing. I wanted to help."

"Well, you did," Rory added, reaching out to give him a hug. She whispered another thank you in his ear and he nodded, clearly touched.

He turned to Lorelai. The two hesitated a bit at first but Lorelai finally reached out, albeit somewhat awkwardly, and gave him a hug. His arms were once more tight and familiar around her and she suddenly found herself blinking back unexpected tears.

"If you need anything tomorrow, will you call me?" he asked quietly, pulling back slightly to look at her face.

She nodded, hoping her watery eyes were not apparent, and stepped back next to Rory. He gave them each one last smile and a wave before walking out the door. He stopped partway through and turned back to face them.

"I, uh" he stammered slightly before clearing his throat. "I'll be up awhile. You know, if you want that coffee or whatever. Feel free to knock or something." And then he was gone.

Lorelai stood watching him through the glass-paned doors, not sure if she was more surprised, touched or relieved by Luke's invitation. It seemed more than just an invitation for that particular night. It was Luke's way of telling her that she was welcome any time. He had made reference long ago that she was but because Luke could never and would never be just "the coffee guy," she just wasn't at all comfortable with the prospect. She wasn't sure if she could or even should, especially after the debacle with Christopher. The warm, almost peaceful feeling that coursed through her as Luke disappeared from her view, however, made her smile. Lorelai put her arm around Rory's shoulders.

"It was nice of him to come," Rory said finally, looking up at her mom.

"Yeah, sweets, it really was," she whispered, giving her daughter a squeeze. "Well, shall we go back and say our goodbyes for the night?"

The rules in the ICU were strict and only permitted one family member to spend the night. The waiting room as well had hours of operation that were rapidly approaching an end. Lorelai and Rory had contemplated earlier in the day spending the night in the waiting room they had been in that afternoon so they could be there, just in case. However, Lorelai felt a responsibility to get home for Gigi in case Christopher didn't come home and Emily had told them both to go home and get some proper rest. Since Rory had ridden in the ambulance with her grandfather, she didn't have her car with her so Lorelai had suggested that Rory come back to Stars Hollow with her for the night. They could both return together early the next morning.

"Yeah," Rory said with a sigh as the two turned around and began heading back to the ICU. "I need to talk to Logan before we go, though. Did you know he got a helicopter to bring him…here?" Rory stopped dead in her tracks, causing Lorelai to bump into her.

"What's the matter?" she asked and looked in the direction Rory was staring. Her breath caught in her throat. Rory broke away from her mother and stormed off in the direction of her father, who had stood up from his seat near the registration desk.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.

"I came as soon as I heard," he said, taken aback by the anger coming from his eldest daughter.

"I cannot believe you. Mom has been calling you all day long! How could you not be here for her? For me? For us?"

"I didn't know," he pleaded, giving Lorelai a look before turning back to Rory. "I'm sorry, Rory."

"Sorry isn't good enough. It's never good enough! How many chances can you expect me to give you anyway? Not sure why I'm surprised, though. You've never once been there for us when it counted so why start now, huh?"

"Rory," Lorelai suddenly spoke up, walking up behind her and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I got this. Go say your goodbyes. I'll be up in a minute."

"No, Mom," Rory said. "This isn't right, that he wasn't here!" She turned to Christopher and repeated, "It's not right, Dad!"

"Hon, I'll handle this, alright?" Lorelai said, not looking directly at Christopher. Rory stared at her mom before turning to glare at her father before storming off down the hall. Christopher watched her walk off and then looked back at Lorelai. She stared down at the floor with a frown for a minute before she finally, with a deep breath, looked up to meet his gaze.

They glared at each other for a few seconds before Lorelai finally spoke. "I'm not entirely sure why you're glaring at me. Seems like in this instance I've got dibs on that right."

"Oh, I don't know," he said with a sigh, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "Maybe because you just proved me right?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That little display I just witnessed? And the one earlier in the waiting room? I'd say that went a long way to proving you're not done with him."

"The waiting room…wait a minute, you were spying on me?" she asked with an incredulous look.

"No, I wasn't _spying_ on you. I got here a little while ago and saw you through the door as I was about to come inside. I saw the two of you. Hugging. A little too intimately if you ask me."

"Oh please," she said, rolling her eyes. "He'd just told me he won partial custody of his daughter. I was happy for him. That's all. It was nothing." Her words sounded so convincing, she almost believed herself.

Christopher shook his head. "You keep saying that but your actions keep proving the opposite."

"What actions? I hugged a friend. I wrote a character reference for him. You're acting like we were naked and horizontal!"

"You were going to marry him," he said accusingly, ignoring her words.

"Yeah," she said, throwing her arms into the air in exasperation. "So what? Obviously, I didn't get to do that. I married _you_ so that should be crystal clear."

"Didn't _get to_? So you went with me instead? Like I'm some consolation prize?" he asked, his voice rising in anger.

"I never said that!" Lorelai yelled, causing nearby patrons to look over at them in surprise. "You're making this into too big a deal, Christopher. You knew my history with him when you pushed for us to get married. Did you think that was going to be erased suddenly like it never existed?"

"No but I didn't expect my wife to be constantly all over her ex at the same time!"

"Oh my God, Christopher! You are acting like a child!" Lorelai stormed off towards the front doors.

"Where are you going?" he yelled.

"Outside," she yelled back.

She realized as she walked into the bitterly cold air that she'd left her coat back upstairs in the waiting room. She crossed her arms across her chest as she shivered in nothing more than a cable knit sweater and a pair of jeans. Her boots crunched in the newly fallen snow on the sidewalk. She heard the doors open behind her and Christopher come outside.

"Where are you going?"

"We were making a scene in there," she said. "If you want to yell at me, you can do it out here."

He crossed his arms and stared at her.

"Where were you today?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Around."

"Were you screening my calls?"

"I was mad. I didn't want to hear your repeated claims that you loved me when I know it's a lie."

"First of all, it's not a lie. I do love you. And second of all, did it ever occur to you that something could be wrong when I kept calling you? What if Gigi had gotten sick or fallen? What if SHE had been in the hospital? Or what if something had happened to me? You wouldn't have known. And that is NOT OKAY."

Christopher had the decency to look ashamed and guilty.

"Not to mention the lies I've been telling Gigi all day long about where you are and why you might not be there when she woke up tomorrow!"

"Look, you're right," Christopher finally said, his voice low. "I shouldn't have ignored your calls. It was wrong."

"You're damn straight it was," she seethed.

He started to reply but then shut his mouth quickly instead.

"What?" she snapped.

"Nothing. It's not important."

"No, say it, Christopher."

"I just," he said pausing, "you couldn't get a hold of me, so what, you called him instead?"

"What? I didn't call him," she said.

"Oh sure, he just showed up on his own? He has telepathic abilities and just knew somehow?"

Lorelai stared at him, her mouth open in amazement. "Are you kidding me?"

Christopher simply stared at her, arms crossed across his chest, waiting for her to answer.

She sighed, shaking her head. "Sookie told him. He came to see if there was anything he could do."

"What a veritable white knight," Christopher muttered under his breath.

"Yeah," Lorelai replied, her tone accusatory. "That pretty much describes it, Chris. Considering what he did today for a woman who has always looked down at him as little more than the dirt off of the bottom of her shoe, he should be considered for sainthood with what he did for her today."

"Well, it's not his family anymore," Christopher yelled. "Maybe he should think about that next time before he butts in where he doesn't belong!"

"Yeah, well, at least he was _here_," Lorelai fumed, her words hard and as cold as the snow below their feet. "Unlike the person who _should_ have been."

They glared at one another as several people shouldered past them on the narrow sidewalk, eyeing the fighting pair warily. She watched as Christopher's face changed from hurt to anger to betrayal before finally settling on guilty. He fidgeted slightly under her intense glare.

Christopher cleared his throat. "So," he asked finally, "where is my kid?"

Lorelai's eyes narrowed. "She's upstairs, saying goodbye to her grandfather who came very close to _dying_ today."

Christopher looked down at his feet. "Um, yeah, I know. I meant…"

"I know what you meant," Lorelai interrupted, her voice cold. "She's at home, hopefully asleep. Babette's with her."

Chris nodded in response and sighed. "Look, I know I fucked up here today," he pleaded. "I'm sorry. I should have been here for you. And Rory. I really am sorry, Lor. Really sorry."

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda," Lorelai murmured, shaking her head.

"What does that mean?" Chris asked, his tone on the defensive side.

"It means what it sounds like, Chris," Lorelai said, her voice rising again. "It means there are a lot of things you should have done in your life. It's just amazing to me how you never seem to learn anything from it for the next time."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Lor," Chris said, exasperated with the woman in front of him.

"You know what? Do we have to fight about this now? Right here? Today has sucked majorly and I'm exhausted and not up to this."

"Fine," he said with a shake of his head. He turned and began walking towards the parking lot.

"Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.

"Home," he called over his shoulder, not bothering to slow down.

Lorelai watched him go, debating if she should make him stay or let him go. Her head pounding and her eyes heavy with exhaustion, she decided to let him go. She realized suddenly she did not want him with her right then. He wasn't exactly comforting to her at the moment. She stood shivering from the cold but she remained outside awhile longer in a vain attempt to calm down. She wasn't entirely surprised by Christopher's actions today but she was disappointed nonetheless in just how immature the man could be. However, tonight was not the night for heavy discussions such as that one would entail. She wanted nothing more than to go home and collapse for about a week. Forget Christopher, forget her marriage, forget her entire screwed up mess of a life. Of course, her current responsibilities wouldn't allow her to do that just yet so she finally headed inside.

Lorelai entered the ICU a few minutes later and saw Rory and Logan down at the end of the hall saying goodbye. She suddenly recalled Rory saying something about Logan and a helicopter and made a mental note to ask about that one later. Instead, Lorelai stood outside Richard's room and took a deep breath before entering. Emily was seated in the chair next to Richard's bed, her head bowed low on her chest as if asleep.

"Mom," she whispered, walking further into the room. Emily's head snapped up suddenly and she began smoothing her hair back into place as she sat up straight in the chair. "We're going to go home now."

"Alright," Emily said quietly, standing up and stretching. "He's been awake a bit the last hour and talking some but he's finally fallen back asleep I think. Try not to wake him, please." Lorelai nodded her understanding as she stared down at her father. "I'll give you a minute," Emily offered, lightly touching Lorelai's arm as she went out into the hall.

Lorelai sat down in the vacated chair next to the bed and chewed on her bottom lip. She said another silent thank you to whoever might be listening that her father was going to be ok. She spent a long moment sitting at his bedside, contemplating the things she would say to her father when he was fully coherent again. Not too surprising, she mused, the words were suspiciously hard to come by.

She sighed. "Bye Daddy," she whispered, kissing the tips of her fingers and lightly placing them on his cheek. "See you in the morning." Richard didn't stir as she made her way out into the hallway, her eyes taking one last look behind her as the she shut the door quietly.

The day was heavy on her shoulders as she walked down to the waiting room. She found Emily and Rory conversing quietly and she walked over to join them. Rory smiled up at her as she approached. "Ready?"

"Yep," she said. "I think so. Mom, are you sure you don't want us to stay? Christopher is home with Gigi now so I don't have to go if you would prefer me to stay."

Emily's eyes widened. "When did you get a hold of Christopher?"

Lorelai looked over at Rory in surprise. "You didn't tell her?"

Rory frowned and looked down at the ground. She shook her head.

"We found him downstairs when we walked Luke out," Lorelai told her mother, noticing the older woman's eyes narrow slightly at the mention of Luke.

"Exactly where has he been all day?" Emily finally asked after a moment of silence.

"I don't know," she replied with a sigh. "He wouldn't specify."

"And now he's gone home?" Emily inquired. "He didn't think it appropriate to remain here with his family?"

The last thing Lorelai wanted to get into was a fight with her mother and she could feel one coming from a mile away. "He needed to get home to Gigi," she simply said with a shrug.

Emily frowned, muttering "Gigi, of course," her features clearly indicating her disapproval in the situation. Lorelai, for once, couldn't argue with her mother's viewpoint. However, she was slightly taken aback when she saw her mother look up at her with what almost looked like sympathy. Lorelai's mind raced, trying to reconcile the fact that for once Emily's infamous 'World Ending Disappointment' wasn't forced in her direction. Though if she gave her too long to consider the situation, Lorelai mused, she'd likely find a way to put the blame squarely back on her daughter's shoulders so she quickly broke the silence.

"So just say the word, Mom," she said.

"What word?" Emily asked in confusion.

"Do you want us to stay?"

"Oh, no," Emily said with a shake of her head. "You two go home, get some sleep."

"Are you sure? We could run by the house, grab some things for you. Something a little more comfortable to sleep in maybe?" Rory asked, looking over at Lorelai for confirmation.

"Sure, Mom," Lorelai assured her. "It's no trouble."

Emily smiled tightly. "No, but thank you. I'm fine. Maybe give me a call in the morning before you come back and you can bring me a fresh change of clothes?" She stopped a moment before adding, "You are coming back tomorrow, correct?"

"Of course we are!" Lorelai said, shocked her mother would think otherwise.

"Alright, then, yes, tomorrow will be fine. I can make do until then."

"Ok," Lorelai said. "But if you change your mind or something happens…"

Emily nodded her understanding. "I'll call you first thing, I promise."

"Ok," Lorelai said, walking over to pick up her jacket from one of the chairs. "Well, kid, ready to go?" Lorelai asked, turning to look at Rory. She nodded and turned to give her grandmother a hug.

Lorelai smiled a little sadly at Emily a moment before turning to walk out of the room, her arm slung across her daughter's shoulders. She stopped suddenly, though, causing Rory to look up at her in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Lorelai didn't answer and instead she looked back over to her mother, who hadn't moved from her spot. Taking a deep breath, she strode over and pulled her mother into a hug. She could feel the woman's body tense in surprise. She released her quickly, not giving her mother time to react or even reciprocate, but before pulling away completely, she whispered, "Anything, Mom, just call."

Emily regarded her daughter with undisguised shock and just nodded in reply, unable to speak. Lorelai turned and walked back towards the door. She watched as the pair walked out of the room, her gaze fixated on the wooden door before her long after it had closed behind them.

Eventually, she gave herself a shake and quickly headed back to Richard's side, not even aware of the soft smile across her face.

_To be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I've been remiss about thanking my lovely betas, pathwatch and adriabon. You guys rock! All remaining errors are all on me. _

_Also, feedback for me is just as much of an addiction as coffee is for Lorelai. Just sayin'. ;)_

On the drive back to Stars Hollow, the car was filled only with the sounds of their quiet breathing. Both girls appeared lost in their own private worlds. Rory sat in the passenger seat staring out the window, idly picking at her nails. Lorelai's eyes remained on the road before her, only occasionally glancing over to Rory. 

The words from her fight with Christopher rang loudly through her head. The more she tried to force them out, the more they demanded back in. Her head still ached from earlier and she sighed, her eyes closing briefly in defeat. She was trying as hard as she could to make this marriage work. Deep down she knew they had rushed too fast but it was too late to go back and change that now. The fact was they'd done it. She wasn't even sure how she had convinced herself at the time it was a good thing. She recalled her initial objections but when the time presented itself, it had seemed so perfect. This was her chance, she recalled thinking. If she didn't take it now, she might never have it.

She saw herself standing beside Christopher, hand in hand, listening to a man ramble on in a language she knew maybe a total of three words of. In that moment, with no concrete meaningful words to focus on, she was left to her own thoughts for possibly the first time since landing in Paris. As the unintelligible sounds floated over her, she felt herself tense. It was a tiny, fleeting moment that lasted mere seconds. She recalled the small moment of panic she had felt suddenly. _Wait…I don't want to be here._ The panic receded before she could even react as Christopher squeezed her hand, smiling down at her with a dopey grin on his face. _He's happy. He loves me. He wants me._ The words went to work to quickly fight off the devil perched on her shoulder that was causing her to want to run screaming into the streets. She returned his smile. She was marrying her kid's father after all. A man she'd known her whole life, more or less. They'd had a rocky start but maybe this was meant to be. Maybe she shouldn't have fought it as hard as she had all these years. There was a time, after all, when she'd wanted just this. She'd wanted a life with this man.

She could still remember all of those dark, lonely nights when she would lie awake, huddled close to a sleeping toddler in an attempt to remind herself why she was doing this. Why she was essentially running away from everyone she knew. She'd known only Mia back then, the current staff at the inn suspicious and aloof with this teenager suddenly invading their territory, getting privileges they weren't allowed, such as frequent breaks to check on Rory, sometimes forcing them to cover her duties. The desolate nights left her feeling empty and scared. The aloof attitude she had adopted early on shattering to pieces once her baby's eyes drifted shut and she was left with only her own demons. 

Instead, she would focus on the future. On dreams of cozy kitchens, small tables where everyone she loved was huddled close together, so close she could reach out and touch them if she wished. Fireplaces with an array of eclectic frames scattered along the mantelpiece, depicting candid scenes full of laughter and hugs. Photographs of a woman, a man, and a child centered prominently amongst them. Maybe even two or three children. She would envision swing sets in the backyard, toys and dolls cluttering the floor next to the couch. Crudely drawn crayoned depictions of a happy family hanging proudly on the refrigerator. Maybe even the most special ones hanging in frames on the wall. She would dream of being wrapped in her lover's arms as they stood in the doorway watching their children sleep. Feeling safe, secure and cared for. It's what she wanted most for her daughter but also for herself. It's why she was here, alone and scared. If she could ride this out, she knew better days would come. They had to, she would remind herself repeatedly, as she would finally allow her body to relax for the night. And as she drifted off completely, that man in the photos on the mantle was most often times Christopher. She may have instinctively known marriage was wrong then but she thought, she hoped, she continued to dream that one day it would be right. 

She also held a nagging fear that her marriage refusal had pushed him away all those years ago. Would Rory have had a father to count on if she'd listened to her parents? She had always feared that she would end up not being enough for her child and that one day, Rory would blame her for Christopher's absence. She also couldn't help now but wonder if she had only refused because her parents had demanded it. Did her refusal and stubbornness only hurt Rory in the end? If she had allowed it to happen, would Christopher have gotten it together sooner? She knew having Rory had changed her from the second she had known about her. If she had forced Christopher to take responsibility in the form of being a husband and a father, she wondered would that have been enough to wake him up?

Lorelai shook her head, releasing a pent up breath. She gripped the steering wheel tightly in her hands. "Don't be stupid," she muttered, unaware her thoughts were spoken aloud. They weren't ready back then. Neither of them. Christopher wouldn't have magically changed just because he was legally obligated to sleep in the same house as them. Quite obviously, he'd just proved that obligation mattered little to him. He wouldn't instantly have become a Grown-Up after saying "I do." Their marriage would have failed regardless of how hard she had tried. She reminded herself that Rory likely would have had a much more complicated life with two parents who eventually came to resent each other and their situation for forcing something neither were emotionally ready to take on. Now, though, the question was had he really changed now as she had previously thought? 

Feeling herself being watched, she glanced over to her right. Rory was looking at her in concern. "You ok?"

Lorelai nodded, giving her a tight smile before returning her eyes to the darkened road before her. "I'm fine."

Rory bit her lip, glancing back out the window. She sighed. "So Dad is back at the house?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said quietly. "He said he was heading home."

"What happened after I left?" Rory wondered out loud, still staring out into the darkness. Lorelai was silent, forcing Rory to look over at her. "Mom?"

"I don't really want to talk about this, Rory," Lorelai warned, leaning her head against her hand propped against the window. 

Rory's voice was tinged with frustration. "Fine."

Lorelai frowned at her daughter's tone. "Things are fine, Rory. It was just a fight. Very bad timing for a fight, but just a fight."

"Feels like more," she said.

"It's not. We'll work it out. Promise."

By this point, they had entered Stars Hollow and Lorelai turned the car down Main Street. Rory looked back at the diner as they passed and while Luke wasn't visible from her view, the lights were on. She glanced over at Lorelai and observed her mother staring intently ahead of her, almost as if she was purposely not glancing that way. 

"No coffee, I guess?" Rory said with a slight smile, not having really expected her to take Luke up on his offer.

"What?"

"The diner, Luke's offer of stopping by for coffee," Rory reminded her.

"Oh, right," Lorelai said, giving a cursory glance in the rear view mirror. "Um, no, not tonight. I'm pretty beat."

Rory nodded and sat back in her seat. It was only minutes later they were pulling up to the Crap Shack. Lorelai turned off the ignition but neither girl made an immediate move to get out of the Jeep. They both stared straight ahead before Rory finally spoke up, a thought suddenly occurring to her.

"So, um," she stammered, "since Gigi's got my room now, where do I…"

"Dammit!" Lorelai's muttered, hitting her fist against the steering wheel. She collapsed back into her seat and turned her head to face Rory. "We still haven't gotten the new bed! I'm so sorry, babe. I didn't expect you to need it until at least Spring Break and even then I wasn't sure if you would be coming home or not or if you had plans with Logan or…" she trailed off sheepishly as she gave Rory an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put it off. And I completely forgot about that when I offered for you to stay the night."

Rory chewed on the inside of her cheek a few seconds, her face unreadable. "That's ok," she said finally with a shrug. "You couldn't have known. At least the couch is comfy." Rory made a move to open the car door and step out.

Lorelai stared at her daughter in concern and reached out a hand, resting it softly on Rory's arm. "Hey," she said softly. 

"Hmm?" Rory said, looking back at her mom.

Lorelai bit her lower lip before speaking. "I am sorry, about all of this. I know it's not exactly easy."

"What do you mean?" Rory said, her voice forcefully light.

"I mean, all of this," Lorelai said, gesturing to the house. "Suddenly having your parents together after all these years, Gigi taking over your room…it's just got to be weird for you. We really haven't even talked much about it. Not really."

"No, it's not weird," Rory objected meekly, her eyes trained intently on her lap. "It's fine."

"Rory," Lorelai said. "Come on. This is me, remember? Please talk to me."

Rory sighed. "Ok, fine, it's a little weird. But it's fine. I don't mind. I mean, Gigi's a little kid. She needs her own room and it just makes sense for her to use mine considering it's the only other room possible. And I don't exactly live here anymore. So that just seems selfish to not give it to her. It's empty most of the time anyway."

"But?" Lorelai prodded gently when Rory didn't continue.

Rory pursed her lips as she stared down at her hands. "But…I guess it's strange. Coming home, but not having my room be my room. It was just the two of us for so long, I guess it's just going to take time for that to not be weird anymore. I mean, I'm fine with it. I just want you to be happy, Mom. It's just a little disconcerting at times when I think about it. It won't be forever, though."

"You just want me to be happy?" Lorelai repeated, something suddenly occurring to her.

"Of course," Rory insisted.

Lorelai nodded, her forehead wrinkling slightly as she watched her daughter. "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you happy?"

Rory tipped her head to the side, looking at her mother oddly. "Sure, of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, Christopher's never really been around for you much through the years. You said it yourself, it's weird having him here suddenly. Are you really ok with everything? Because it's alright if you're not."

"Mom," Rory said seriously. "I really don't understand where you're going with this. If you're happy with Dad, then I think that's great."

Lorelai sighed, not convinced. As she was about to pursue the subject, though, she saw Babette's porch light go on and the woman herself scurrying out, wrapping a coat on over her nightclothes. She was waving to them, her arms flailing with urgency over her head.

Lorelai opened the door and stepped out as Rory followed suit. "Hey Babette," she called with a smile. "Thanks again for watching Gigi."

"Sure thing, doll," Babette said in a hurry. "Anytime. I heard you drive up and wanted to come out and make sure everything was ok."

"Yeah, everything is fine. Dad is doing really well. He's going to be just fine."

"Good to hear, sweetie, but I meant with Christopher. Is everything alright?"

"Christopher?" Lorelai looked at Babette, a strange feeling taking root inside of her. She wondered if Christopher had mentioned their fight when he got home. That seemed strange, though, he'd never been one to talk much with the neighbors willingly. She couldn't see him venting about a fight with the wife with their busybody neighbor.

"Mom," Rory said, looking around. "Where's Dad's car?"

"Huh?" Lorelai said, her head whipping around to follow Rory's gaze. Sure enough, their car was the only one in front of the house. She wondered how she hadn't noticed that. She took note that all the lights were off inside the house, except for the porch light he'd finally replaced last month. Initially, she'd just assumed he'd gone to bed and didn't leave a light on inside, his passive-aggressive way of showing he was still angry. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she turned back to Babette, focusing on what the woman was saying.

"Oh dear," Babette was muttering, shaking her head. "I was afraid of that. I was afraid you didn't know. Honey, he came home over an hour ago, thanked me for staying and ushered me right out the door! Didn't say nothin' else! About twenty minutes later, Morey and I was sittin' at the kitchen table, having our cup o' tea before bed like we always do, and I heard a noise comin' from over at yer house. I got up to look out the window, make sure everything was ok and all, and I saw Christopher there puttin' a couple bags into the car. Then he went back inside and a few minutes later, he came back out carrying little Gigi asleep in his arms and put her right in the car. Then he just drove off!"

Lorelai stared at her neighbor as she was rambling along breathlessly, willing her face to remain neutral. _Act like you know, for God's sake, act like you know!_ she ordered herself. The news that her husband had left her would be all over Stars Hollow by five a.m. if she didn't. _Oh who are you kidding? Look who you are talking to! It was all over town an hour ago!_

She licked her lips as she searched her tired brain for something to say. Rory had come over to her side and had rested her hand on her arm. "Mom?"

"No, I mean, yeah, I know," she backpedaled, knowing she was fooling nobody. "Christopher took Gigi to her grandmother's house. Since tomorrow we'll be back at the hospital all day, it just made sense for her to stay over there rather than bother you guys again."

Babette just nodded solemnly, patting her on the arm, her touch full of undisguised pity. "Sure thing, doll," she said. "That makes sense. But it was no bother. You just holler when you need us. I'll leave you two kids alone, now. You look exhausted. Get some sleep!" She waved as she headed back to her house. Lorelai and Rory stood together as they waited until the door had shut behind her before turning to head up their own steps.

"Mom," Rory practically whispered before Lorelai cut her off.

"Well," she said brightly, her smile as fake as her voice, "looks like we've solved the room situation!" Her steps were quick as she hurried to unlock the door, struggling to get the key in the lock. Rory noticed the slight trembling of her hand. She bit her lip and forced the tears back that had quickly formed before hurrying to catch up. 

She met her mom in the kitchen. She stood in the doorway as she watched her practically fly around the room starting the coffee pot and pulling out several bags of cookies stuffed high in the back of the cabinet. 

"I'm starving!" Lorelai's voice was rushed as she dashed about. "I know we had burgers and fries earlier but that was hours ago. Practically a lifetime ago, you know? Man, I can't believe this day. Crazy, huh? I'm exhausted." She gave Rory a brief smile over her shoulder as she pulled out plates and two cups from the cabinet.

Rory moved further into the kitchen and came over to stand next to Lorelai, who was now fiddling with the coffee pot. She laid her head on her mother's shoulder and released a small sigh. After a few seconds she felt Lorelai's arm go around her shoulders as they both waited for the coffee to be ready. 

She heard her mother sniffle after a few minutes. She tightened her arms around her mother's waist and whispered "I'm sorry, Mom."

Lorelai inhaled sharply. She swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat causing some difficulty. Last thing she wanted was to have a breakdown in the midst of her kitchen and worry her daughter anymore than this day already had. 

"It's ok," she whispered, forcing her face into a smile she didn't feel. "It'll be fine." 

"I know," Rory said, looking up at her mom, her face somber. "We have each other. Always."

Lorelai's practically felt her heart crack at the words. "Oh sweets," Lorelai said, rubbing her hand along Rory's back. "He'll be back. He's probably just cooling off."

Rory clearly wasn't convinced. "You think so?" 

"Yeah, of course."

"Alright." Rory was too exhausted to try to push her mom to talk about this so she decided to drop the conversation for now.

"You know what?" Lorelai said, pushing herself away from the counter. "I'm not hungry after all. I think I'm just going to go to bed. We have to get up early tomorrow to get back to the hospital you know."

"What about the coffee?" Rory inquired, looking down at the percolating brew.

Lorelai shrugged. "It's yours if you want it. Otherwise, just shut it off. Night sweets!" Lorelai leaned down to give her daughter a kiss on the top of her head before hurrying out of the kitchen. She left Rory staring after her as she yelled out, "See ya' in the morning!" from the direction of the stairs.

Lorelai escaped to her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. She was exhausted. Emotionally spent. Residual worries and fears from the day nagged at her as she tried not to focus on the fact that her husband had practically packed his bags and left her. Did she believe he was simply cooling off and would return? She wasn't all that sure. Who leaves their spouse after a fight? Especially after her father nearly died. Ok, sure, it was a bad fight but what happened to for better or for worse? In sickness and in health? Good times and bad?

Alright, so she couldn't be sure any of that was actually said in their ceremony but it was pretty much a given when you married someone, no matter the language it was spoken in. Christopher was often times clueless but surely even he was aware of that. 

She buried her face into the pillows and let herself wallow in self-pity for a few precious moments and contemplated calling him, forcing him to deal with her. It was pretty much a given she figured that he wouldn't answer his cell phone but if she called Francine's house directly…she nixed the idea immediately, not wanting to deal with all of this right now. "Tomorrow," she mumbled into the pillow as she toed off her shoes, kicking them to the floor. The energy it would take to undress further seemed too taxing so she blindly reached around to grab the ends of the comforter and buried herself underneath.

_to be continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get out. Hopefully the next chapter won't take near this long. Also, I hope that even though this part on the show is long over that there are a few people out there who are still interested in seeing my version play out. 

Comments very much appreciated as always.

* * *

Lorelai woke bleary-eyed and disoriented early the next morning. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked around at the darkness. She let out a slight whimper as she squinted over at the clock. She fell onto her back with a loud groan and pulled the pillow over her head. It soon became apparent, though, that her five measly hours of sleep were all that she was going to be given and she flung the pillow to the side. She winced at the crash that resulted seconds after and forced her eyes open to survey the damage. The lamp was askew, having been thrown against the wall when the pillow struck it. She peeked over the edge of the bed and saw the alarm clock and her glasses on the floor. She rubbed her eyes and maneuvered herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, waiting for the morning fog to clear from her mind.

She looked up in surprise when she heard a soft knock on the bedroom door and saw Rory peek her head in seconds later. 

"Hey, babe," she said, her voice still raspy with sleep. "What are you doing awake?"

"Couldn't sleep. I was making coffee and heard a noise. Everything ok?" Rory walked into the room and sat down on the bed next to her mother. 

"My pillow attacked the nightstand," Lorelai explained as she eyed Rory with suspicion. "You're already dressed." 

"As are you." Rory's voice was filled with sympathy as she took in her mother's rumpled clothing from the previous day.

Lorelai looked down at herself. "Huh. I am at that."

The two sat in companionable silence a few seconds before Lorelai shook her head slightly. "Well, we can see why I'm still dressed. But you were not wearing that yesterday so unless you changed into that last night and managed to sleep without even moving an inch, what's your explanation? It's barely even 5 am."

"I got up at 4," Rory said a little sheepishly. "Didn't sleep well, seemed pointless to continue laying there. Plus, the ballerina wallpaper was creeping me out a little." 

Lorelai grinned, a tiny hiccup of a laugh escaping her amidst a large yawn.

"Coffee should be ready, you want some?" Rory asked.

"God, do I," Lorelai said. She stood up and headed towards the bathroom. "Pour me a cup? I'll be down in a sec." 

"Sure," Rory called out before heading back downstairs. "I'm gonna call Grandma and get an update. See if she wants us to stop by the house for anything."

"'K!" came Lorelai's muffled reply from behind the bathroom door.

The next hour passed quickly and before they knew it, the sun was out and the morning was half over as they stumbled through the front doors of the hospital.

"Did they decide to just move them both in indefinitely? He is leaving here, right?" Lorelai grumbled as they made their way to the elevators, in search of Richard's new room. They had learned when Rory checked in with Emily that Richard was being moved out of ICU during the next couple of hours, which was a little ahead of schedule. She readjusted the two hanging bags slung over her shoulder while regaining her grip on the two duffel bags. Her purse strap was slung unattractively around her neck and her precious coffee mug was balanced precariously under her chin. She leaned against the wall to allow Rory time to catch up. Rory herself was loaded down with two rolling suitcases and another duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She refrained from commenting aside from a slight grunt as she stumbled past. 

"Where's a big, strong, burly man when you need one, anyway?" Lorelai said, coming up beside her. "Hey, I don't suppose Logan is here, is he?"

Rory looked at her mother in slight amusement. "You consider Logan a big, strong, burly man?"

"Well," Lorelai sighed, trying to keep one of the hanging bags from sliding to the ground. "He's a man at least." Rory just smiled and shook her head. 

Lorelai gasped in mock alarm. "He's not a man?! Rory, sweetie, do you have something to tell mommy?"

Rolling her eyes, Rory said, "No, I meant he's not HERE."

"Hmm," Lorelai said with a smirk, ignoring her daughter as they trekked down the seemingly endless hospital. "I always knew there was something odd about that kid. Hon, I just want you to know, I will always love you. No matter who you like to kiss."

"Mooomm," Rory whined with impatience. "I know this conversation is going to get really obnoxious and annoying quick so can we reschedule it for later please? Like when I can walk and talk again at the same time without ending up a patient alongside Grandpa?"

"Fine. Just keep in mind that while I'm full of supportiveness and I'm nothing but open-minded because I recognize 'Hey, it's your life so whatever,' your ultra conservative grandparents are likely going to disown you when they find out. You might as well say goodbye to that trust fund of yours. I just hope she's worth it!"

"Good God," Rory muttered under her breath in response from behind her. The pair trudged along in silence before she spoke again. "We should have asked for one of those luggage carts or something."

"You mean the kind at hotels or airports? This is a hospital, Rory. I don't think they have those here."

"They've got to have something, though, don't they? Maybe they have one of those spare carts they carry medical supplies on? We should have asked."

"This is ridiculous," Lorelai said a little later when they finally came upon their destination and paused outside Richard's room to catch their breath. "Nobody needs this much stuff in the hospital. This is your fault, by the way."

"What? How so?" Rory demanded as she dropped her bags to the floor, rubbing her sore shoulder as she leaned against the wall.

"You called her!"

"You were the one to offer last night!"

"No, actually, you did the offering if I'm not mistaken."

"Well," Rory huffed, "you agreed, if _I'm_ not mistaken."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Peeking her head around the cracked door, Lorelai spotted Richard sitting up slightly in his bed. Emily was speaking quietly to him, her tone so hushed she couldn't make out the words from just a few feet away. She smiled at the sight. The two were holding hands as Emily gently caressed his hair. Richard was awake but his eyes were heavy with still needed sleep. He was listening intently to whatever Emily was whispering and Lorelai saw a slight smile cross his lips in response. 

She knew her parents loved each other in their own special way, a way she had never understood. They never seemed to touch or kiss but there was always this closeness that could literally be felt between them that Lorelai had secretly envied even growing up. It was a rare thing to witness such a sight as this with them, both of their guards lowered significantly. She couldn't help but want to linger in secret just a minute more to appreciate it. However, Rory made an impatient sound behind her and Emily looked up at the noise. 

"Lorelai," she frowned when she spotted her daughter in the doorway. "Why are you skulking over there in the doorway? Come in."

Richard turned his head in her direction and she gave him a bright smile as she and Rory stumbled through the door, dragging their burdens behind them. "Look who's finally awake!" 

"Yes, and he should be sleeping," Emily said, glaring down at him.

"Nonsense," Richard said, his voice raspy and low. "I feel like I've been asleep for years."

"Good to see you awake and talking, Grandpa," Rory greeted her grandmother with a kiss on the cheek before going to Richard's side and doing the same. 

"Hello Rory," he said, pleasure at seeing his granddaughter evident clearly on his face. "Thank you for being here."

Lorelai motioned to the bags. "Do you want me to put these somewhere, Mom?"

"What is all that?" Richard asked.

"Just some things I felt we needed here from the house while you're here," Emily replied.

Richard's eyes widened a little. "I knew it. You are lying to me. I'm worse than they said. I'm not going home am I?"

"Richard! Of course you are. Why would you say that?" Emily demanded, marching to his side. 

"You've got enough bags here for a month's stay in Europe!" Richard smiled, his tone of voice ensuring his wife he was only teasing her.

"I only wanted to make sure we had everything we possibly needed. I don't trust this place."

"Gee, Mom, not something you want to say to a man just out of heart surgery," Lorelai quipped, winking at her father.

Emily ignored her daughter and motioned to the bags. "Just put them in the closet. I'll go through them later."

"Aye-aye, Cap'n," Lorelai saluted, receiving a glare from her mother but a small smile from her father. Rory helped her mother find room in the tiny closet for their belongings, what wouldn't fit they stored in a corner of the room. When they finished, Lorelai noticed Richard had seemingly drifted back to sleep. 

"Finally," Emily said softly as she slumped back into her chair. 

"You ok, Mom?" Lorelai asked, her voice tinged with concern.

"I'm fine," she replied, waving her hand in dismissal. 

"You don't look fine," Lorelai said, coming over to stand in front of her. "You look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?"

"Like you can sleep in a place like this? Please."

"Well," Lorelai said, glancing over at Rory. "If you want to take a break, we're here. We can sit with him."

Emily shook her head. "I'm not leaving."

"Ok, but if you change your mind," Lorelai said as her mother nodded. The room fell silent for a few minutes as they stared at the sleeping man in front of them. "So, it's good news that Dad got moved to his own room earlier than scheduled, right?" 

Emily nodded without speaking. 

"So what's the ETA on him coming home?" Lorelai asked.

"2 or 3 days they think."

"That's good." An uncomfortable silence returned. Lorelai looked at Rory, begging silently with her eyes.

"Grandma," Rory asked. "Have you eaten? I can bring you up something if you like."

"Yeah, Mom," Lorelai said. "You are probably starving. Why don't I sit with Dad while you and Rory go down and get something from the cafeteria? Or there's a few places nearby you guys could go if you want to get out of this place for a bit."

"I'm fine, Lorelai. And thank you, Rory but maybe later."

"Just let me know, Grandma," Rory said, giving her mother a slight shrug as she took a seat in the chair next to Emily. 

Lorelai sighed in frustration as she took a seat on the other side of the room, her arms crossed across her chest. Her foot tapped impatiently on the linoleum floor as she stared at her father sleeping deeply across from her. She noticed Rory get a book out of her purse and begin flipping through the pages, searching for her last stopping point. Emily was sitting stoically, her eyes closed but head held high and body stiff, like a statue. 

Her worry over her father was lessening more and more which made the sitting and watching and waiting all the more difficult to bear. She felt useless and was already growing bored and restless. She checked her watch and inwardly groaned realizing it hadn't even been half an hour since they pulled into the parking lot. 

With nothing to occupy it currently, her mind drifted to places she had no desire to deal with at the present time but was hard pressed to push it away. So she did her best and forced herself to focus on all the mundane and predictable life stuff, such as the jeep's upcoming oil change, a list of items she needed from Doose's before the week was over, the baby shower next weekend that the Dragonfly was hosting. Anything and everything that would keep her mind off her crumbling marriage. She stilled a bit at the word choice her mind came up with. Was it really crumbling? Couldn't this just be a very bad fight? Christopher would calm down in a day or two and he and Gigi would come back home. Though one of the biggest advantages of getting married, she had always thought, was to give both parties assurances that the other couldn't just take off in troubled times. And while she hadn't ever read it specifically, she guessed that it usually included packing up one's kid in the middle of the night and taking off without a word.

She frowned, picking at the loose thread unraveling from her sleeve. She should call him, she thought. It was probably best to just get that conversation over with. She reached down and dug around inside her purse, searching blindly for her cell phone. Her eyes happened to meet Emily's and they held the gaze for what felt like an eternity. 

Emily cleared her throat. "Will Christopher be joining us today?"

Lorelai dropped the phone she had finally curled her fingers around and sat back in her chair. She knew she wouldn't be so lucky that her mother would be so preoccupied and worried that she wouldn't even think of her MIA husband. But still, she had fruitlessly hoped. She glanced over at Rory who was pretending to read but Lorelai could tell by her unmoving eyes she was instead waiting for Lorelai's answer. Clearly, she would be no help. She looked back at her mother, who was staring at her expectantly with her lips pursed. 

With a sigh, she decided to go with an honest answer, and damn the consequences. "You'd have to ask him that to know for sure but if you want my guesstimate, I'm gonna go with doubtful."

Emily's eyes widened but she said nothing. The silence that fell across the room was heavy and confining and made Lorelai nervous. She waited for the typical Emily response she knew was coming. She counted to five. "Wait, that's it? You just accept that answer?"

Emily stared unblinking at her daughter. "I asked a question. You gave an answer. I'm not sure what more you expect."

"Well," Lorelai smirked. "I don't know. The usual 'Lorelai is nothing but a disappointment and can't do anything right' lecture, I guess."

"Lorelai, I hardly think this is the time or place," Emily warned with a frown. "And please keep your voice down." 

"Fine," she sighed. She sat a moment longer, trying to ignore the agitation that had been building ever since this drama had begun but it finally grew too much so she grabbed her purse and made a flimsy excuse about needing to check in at the inn. She hurried out of the room and briefly leaned against the wall in the hallway, taking a quick, not so calming breath before hurrying towards anywhere that was far away from that room.

She finally found herself in an empty waiting room several floors down. Shutting the door behind her, she made her way to a nearby chair and sunk down into the cushions. The stress was definitely catching up to her, not to mention the lack of sleep. She closed her eyes and let the sound of her breathing soothe her frazzled nerves. 

Gathering what courage she had deep down inside her, she finally pulled out her phone and dialed Christopher's cell phone number. She was fully expecting him not to answer so when he picked it up after the first ring, she was struck silent with surprise.

"Lorelai?" he asked when she didn't acknowledge his initial greeting.

"Uh, yeah, sorry," she replied, rubbing her eyes. "I guess I'm surprised you answered is all."

"Learned that lesson yesterday."

"Right," she sighed. "Guess you did."

When he made no move to speak, she felt the anger that had been simmering inside of her for the past day and a half come to a fast boil. "So what happened to 'In good times and bad'?"

"What?"

"You know, that whole marriage crap? The 'In sickness and health, for better or for worse, good times and bad'? I don't recall 'Husband and wife fight so husband takes off in the middle of the night' being mentioned in that mantra but maybe I'm just old fashioned that way."

She heard what sounded like a sigh on the other end. "Look, I'm sorry. Leaving was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. But I just got so mad on the way home and by the time I pulled into the driveway, I knew when you got home we'd just end up yelling at each other again and figured it was best if we both had some space. Some breathing room. So I took Gigi to my mom's."

"I get that, Chris. I do. I wasn't really relishing the thought of it myself but that's just kind of the way marriage works. It's all part of the package deal, don't you get that? Or maybe I just watch too much Dr. Phil."

"Look, we'll be home tonight. We can talk then, after Gigi goes to bed? I assume you're at the hospital today?"

"You assume correct," Lorelai said. "Emily asked if you would be joining us today," she couldn't help but add.

"Oh, well," Chris stammered, clearly unsure how to reply. 

Lorelai rolled her eyes and cut off whatever he was about to say. "Don't worry about it. Just send some flowers or something all proper and etiquette like and all will be forgiven I'm sure."

"Flowers," he said, drawing out the word slightly. "Got it." She heard a rustling in the background, like pages being flipped and a book shut. 

"Did you just write that down?" she asked, incredulous. His silence was all the confirmation she needed. "I can't believe you had to write down "Send flowers." Is your life that busy you could possibly forget that you should send flowers to your father-in-law in the hospital?"

"Lor," Chris pleaded. "I'm just trying not to screw up even more, alright? Give me a break."

She shook her head, not sure why that invoked the exasperation it did. "Fine. Look, I gotta get back up there. I will see you tonight, right?"

"Yeah, you'll see me. I promise." 

She said goodbye and punched the OFF button and held the phone tightly in her hand. She felt as if she should feel relieved or something. They'd talk, starting tonight, and get back on track. They had to, she thought with a frown. She couldn't screw this up was all she knew. So why, she wondered, did she not feel just a little bit lighter? If possible, she was more fearful and worried now than she had been last night. 

She was so deep in thought, she jumped when the phone rang in her hand. Figuring it was probably Christopher calling back, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Yeah?"

"Lorelai, hi."

"Luke," she exclaimed in surprise. "Uh, hey."

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"Oh, no, it's fine. What's up?"

"I just wanted to check in, see how things were going with your father. See if you needed anything today. I've got Lane and Caesar covering for the afternoon so I can get out there if you need me to."

Lorelai shifted nervously in her seat. She tried not to dwell on the reasons for her nervousness. It also didn't escape her that once again, her ex was more concerned about her family than her husband appeared to be. 

"Oh, well, that's really kind of you, Luke, but I think we'll be ok today. Dad was moved out of ICU this morning so things are definitely looking up. And it's not quite as crazy as yesterday, knowing he'll be ok and all. So I think between the three of us, we can handle things. But thanks, you know, for calling and offering. That was really sweet. I really appreciate the offer. So…thanks."

She could practically hear Luke smiling at her rambling. She rolled her eyes in annoyance at herself. 

"I'm glad he's doing better today," he said simply.

"Yeah, me too."

"Well," Luke said after a few seconds of awkward silence, "I just wanted you to know I was thinking of all of you and would be happy to help in whatever way I can."

Lorelai felt her chest tighten in response and found herself having to concentrate on taking an actual breath as she whispered a simple thanks and after a few more consolatory words, they hung up. She sat, staring down at the phone clutched tightly between her trembling hands. Luke's call so soon after Christopher's seemed to have triggered something inside of her. She felt something inside her shift just slightly, almost too subtle to notice. Thoughts and feelings seemed to click back into place, as if they had been jostled out of their rightful positions for some time. She closed her eyes in a vain attempt to ward off the overwhelming feelings that rushed at her head on. Dread, guilt, worry, concern and fear all warred amongst themselves inside of her, causing her to gasp in response and she bent down, placing her head between her knees and concentrated on getting past the dizziness. There was something else, though. A niggling feeling in the back of it all. She sat up straight as she recognized the emotion. Relief. Nope, she hadn't imagined that. She actually felt a touch of relief amongst all of it. Odd, she couldn't help but think. Just minutes before, she was struggling with her own emotions and how best to handle the situation and then suddenly, it all made sense and she knew exactly what had to be done.

Brushing away the stray tears that had slipped onto her cheeks unnoticed, she quickly dialed Christopher back. She stood up and headed back towards her family as his voice came over the line.

"Chris, leave Gigi with your mother tonight. I think we need to talk, no distractions."

_to be continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

Again, apologies for the wait between chapters. Many thanks to my betas, Pathwatch and Ann! Any mistakes left in the story are entirely my own fault.

Feedback of any kind is greatly encouraged and appreciated.

* * *

When Lorelai returned to her father's room, she was greeted by a sour look from her mother.

"Finally," Emily muttered. "Where have you been?"

Lorelai checked her watch and saw she'd been gone longer than she intended. "Sorry Mom," she said, quickly thinking up an excuse. "I just had to make a few phone calls, catch up with Sookie at the Inn. Did you need me to do anything?"

"Yes," Emily said, standing up. "I've changed my mind. Richard's been asleep for awhile and I realized I am a bit hungry. So Rory and I are going to get something to eat. I need you to sit with your father. Can you do that or do you have something more important to deal with?"

Lorelai bit back the sarcastic words that rushed immediately to her tongue and closed her eyes briefly, hiding the eye roll that threatened. She pasted on a smile. "Nope, nothing more important at all," she said. "Go eat, have a good time. I'm here as long as you need me."

"Fine," Emily said finally, turning to her granddaughter. "Let's go, Rory."

Rory stood up slowly and started to follow her grandmother out of the room. As she passed her mother, she touched her softly on the arm. "You ok?" she asked, her voice low.

Lorelai nodded. "Couldn't be finer," she said, her tone infused with a cheerfulness she didn't feel but hoped her acting skills were up enough to fool her kid. And one day, she swore it would actually work.

"Yeah," Rory said, shaking her head. "Because people who feel fine usually have blotchy red skin and puffy eyes. What happened?"

Lorelai sighed and looked up to see Emily staring at them from outside the door with an expression half mixed with annoyance and, if Lorelai wasn't mistaken, a slight bit of concern.

"Nothing, hon," she said, giving Rory a smile which was met with narrowed eyes. She lowered her voice. "Fine. Yes, something happened, but nothing I want to discuss right now. Not here. Ok?"

She could see her daughter wasn't satisfied and wanted to push but Rory finally glanced over at Emily before letting it go. Instead she simply asked, "Do you want us to bring you back something?"

"Sure, babe," Lorelai said, walking to her chair and collapsing into it. "Just bring me whatever."

The two women left and the room fell into silence save the various beepings from the machines still attached to her father. She watched him sleep for awhile, letting whatever thoughts she had come and go as they pleased. Christopher, their talk later that night, Luke, how her life had gotten so incredibly messed up so quickly, how she was going to fix it. _Nothing major_, she thought as she let her eyes close, suddenly exhausted.

She was startled awake a short while later when Richard stirred.

"Lorelai?" he mumbled, trying to focus on her.

"Hey, Dad," she said, leaning closer to him, scooting her chair a bit closer. "I'm here."

"Where's Emily?" he asked, his words slurred from sleep.

"Rory took Mom to get some lunch. They'll be back soon."

"S'good," he said. "She needs to get away."

Lorelai smiled and nodded. "I agree. Can I get you anything? Some water? Do you have any pain?"

Richard weakly waved her concerns away. "I'm fine right now. Thank you."

"Ok. Well, just let me know."

She sat back in her chair, suddenly a little uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. Her foot bounced slightly as she stared down at her fingers.

"You don't have to sit here, either," he said after a few minutes, staring over at her. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Ah, Dad," she said. "That's not what we're doing. I want to be here. We all do."

"Yes, well, I'm sure you have more important things to be doing than sitting here staring at me sleep all day. You've got a business to run, don't you?"

She waved his comment away. "Nah, the Dragonfly is practically running itself these days. I've practically made myself obsolete there – my staff is top notch! I checked in. They're good. If there's an emergency, they know my cell."

"Still," he said, sighing in frustration, yanking on his blanket some. "I don't need anyone standing over me like this. I'm a grown man, for crying out loud."

"Dad, we're not going anywhere. We want to be here."

Richard stared at her before closing his eyes. "Fine. Waste your day, for all I care."

"It's what I do best," she said with a smile. "Do you want me to turn on the tv? CNN maybe?"

"Whatever," he said, looking away from her. "I don't care."

Lorelai sighed but quickly reminded herself that her father was likely just feeling scared and frustrated. He's a man that likes to do for himself so being stuck helpless, suddenly dependent on others for his needs, would be hard for him to take. Without a word, she found the remote and scrolled through the limited channels, finally finding some type of financial news program.

They watched the television quietly, neither one particularly watching but finding the noise a comfort. Lost in her own thoughts, most of which pertained to that evening which drew ever closer every dreaded minute, she suddenly noticed Richard staring at her.

She gave him a slight, curious smile. He tentatively smiled back and then turned back towards the television screen.

"Doing ok, Dad?"

"Mmm," he nodded, his eyes glued to the screen across from him.

Lorelai chewed her lip for a few seconds, looking back from the television to her father before reaching over to the remote and hitting mute. The sound ceased immediately and Richard turned his head sharply in her direction.

"Hey Dad," Lorelai said, stumbling slightly over the simple words as she absently played with her fingers, wringing her hands together.

"Yes, Lorelai?"

She looked up at him, glanced at the door behind her and settled her focus back on her father. "Um," she said, taking a breath. "I just wanted to…um…"

He stared at her, a bit of impatience mixed with curiosity in his eyes. When she didn't continue, he repeated, "You just wanted to what, Lorelai?"

"I just wanted to say…that…" she stumbled off in silence again, much to her own frustration. Why couldn't she just say the words? She'd made a promise to herself several days ago in this very hospital to not let another day go by before she did.

"Come out with it, Lorelai," Richard grumbled. "I'm tired."

She frowned, mumbling "Never mind."

"Fine." Richard pulled the covers back up over his chest and closed his eyes.

"No, wait," she said quickly, sitting up straight in her chair with her hands flat on her thighs. "I need to say this. And then you can sleep."

He opened his eyes but said nothing. She took a breath. "I've been a pretty terrible daughter over the years, I know that. And I made both you and mom's lives hell. I don't…I don't know why I always have to fight you guys on everything, especially back then."

"Lorelai," Richard tried to interject.

"No, wait. I need to do this, Dad. I thought you were going to die," Lorelai admitted, her throat tight. "And I realized that all the petty stuff that had gone on between us suddenly seemed so stupid and meaningless. And that you would die and you would never know that I regretted all that stuff. And that…I…I love you. And I'm sorry. For all of it and especially for not ever telling you that."

Lorelai's words practically echoed in the room, the only sounds were the beeping from the heart monitor. After a few moments, she glanced up at her father to find him staring at her, his eyes wide with surprise.

He opened his mouth to respond when the door opened. They both looked up to see Rory and Emily walk in. She looked back at her father to find him looking at her, a small smile on his lips. Her eyes flitted down to her lap, feeling exposed with the sudden intrusion. Her heart pounded with a little more force and she could feel the heat on her cheeks. _Once again_, she thought wryly, remembering, _they have excellent timing_.

Rory handed her a bag on her way passed. "I got you a turkey sandwich and some chips. It was the only thing that looked edible," she apologized.

"It's fine," Lorelai said quietly, searching her mind frantically for an excuse to get out of the room. "Since you guys are back, I need to check in with Sookie. So I'm gonna go eat in the waiting room."

"I thought you already checked in with Sookie earlier," Emily said with a frown, reminding her she'd already used that excuse.

"Yeah, well, I told her I'd call her back about something. I'll be back."

She stood, grabbing for her purse and hurried to the door. Her hand was on the knob when she heard her father clear his throat. "Lorelai?"

Catching her breath, she turned around slowly and waited for him to continue.

He smiled and said simply, "Me, too."

Rory and Emily looked between the two in confusion as she grinned, her eyes stinging slightly as she bit her lower lip. She simply nodded, the shine in her eyes telling him more than words could the effect it had on her. With a small wave to the trio, she slipped through the door. As the door closed, she could hear Emily inquiring, "Richard, what was that about?"

She sighed and leaned up against the door. Amazing, she thought, how one simple admission she was sure came without thought to most could be so draining. She could shower her own kid with love, hugs and kisses without moment's hesitation but admitting to the two people who gave her life what she felt was horrifying. Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she pushed away from the door and headed to the waiting room.

Once settled, she pulled out her phone and dialed the Dragonfly. Might as well not have told two lies in one day. _That can't be good for my already struggling karma_, she thought as she listened to the rings. After a few exasperating minutes with Michel's latest emergency, she was transferred to Sookie.

"Hey!" Sookie exclaimed. "How's your father?"

"Much better," Lorelai said, quickly updating her friend on his progress. "How are things there? Michel sounded stressed."

"Oh, nothing we don't have covered. Michel's being his usual drama queen self. Everything is fine."

"Are you sure? You wouldn't just be saying that so I don't worry, would you?"

"Honest, Lorelai. It really is fine."

"Sookie."

"Alright, things got hairy for a bit but I promised them dinner on the house the rest of their stay and they seem satisfied. Promise."

"Ok, I believe you. Now, fill me in on plans for the reunion party this weekend?" she asked, taking a bite of her sandwich. She made a face as she chewed and listened to Sookie rattle on with her various menu ideas.

With a few more minutes of business chatter, she finally admitted why she really called.

"So, I talked to Christopher earlier."

"What? You let me go on and on about crab puffs all this time?? Spill!"

"I called, we talked, he apologized, he's coming home tonight so we can talk."

"Good," Sookie said. "I mean, that is good, right?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said, her hesitance clear. "It's good."

"But?" Sookie prodded.

"But…after tonight, I don't think I'm going to be married for much longer."

"What?!"

Lorelai winced at the volume and her eyes narrowed in alarm when she heard a series of loud crashes from the other end of the line. "You ok, Sook? What just happened?"

"Never mind that! I'm fine," she said. Lorelai then heard her muffled voice asking someone to hurry up and get a mop. "What do you mean you won't be married after tonight? What happened?"

"I'm not sure really but I just suddenly realized something today. Something that I tried to pretend wasn't true but I know was. And…I just don't think once I admit this to Christopher he's going to really want this marriage to continue. And…even if he does, I can't let it."

"What did you realize?" Sookie asked after a moment.

"I'll tell you the details later, ok? I should talk to Christopher first. But I've been so stupid, Sookie! How did my life get so screwed up??"

"Aww, sweetie. You'll be ok. This kind of stuff always works out in the end. You'll see," Sookie said gently.

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall. "I'm sure it will. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm planning to stop by the Inn on the way to the hospital."

"Alright. See you then. Good luck tonight. Call me if you need to, no matter what time."

Lorelai smiled. "Thanks."

She hung up the phone, her arm falling limply to her lap as she tried to pretend the knot in her stomach didn't exist. She concentrated on taking a few deep breaths when she heard a noise from behind her. She turned around quickly to see Rory standing in the doorway, her eyes curiously blank as she stared at her mother.

"Rory," she said with surprise. "How…how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," she said quietly, staring at the ground.

_Shit_, Lorelai thought. _I can't do anything right lately_. She held out her hand. "Come here, kid."

Rory slowly walked over and sat down in the seat next to her mother. "Were you going to tell me?"

"Of course I was! I just, well, I wanted to wait until I had talked to your Dad first."

Rory nodded but didn't say more.

"I'm sorry you found out like that. I didn't hear you come in."

"S'ok."

"Really?" Lorelai asked, her voice full of doubt.

"Yeah," she said, finally looking up at her mom. "I mean, I've known for awhile things weren't good, especially after last night. I'm just surprised at how fast you went from denying it to admitting it."

"I don't know. I have been in denial, I guess. And this morning, I don't know, I just realized what I've known all along but tried to pretend didn't exist."

"Like what, you don't love him?"

"No, that's not it," Lorelai said quickly. "I do love Christopher."

"But?"

"But…not in the way I should," Lorelai admitted quietly, ashamed. "I'm so sorry, babe."

Rory reached over and took her mother's hand. "It's ok," she said. "If you're worried about me, don't. I got over wanting my parents together years ago. I mean, it was a nice idea having you guys together finally. But even I didn't feel like it was really right."

Lorelai shook her head and pulled her daughter into a hug. She tried to imagine their positions switched and how she'd feel and something told her she wouldn't be quite so understanding. "Sometimes we're so alike, it's scary. And other times, like now, I have no idea how you came out of me."

Rory laughed. "Believe me, the same thought has crossed my mind once or twice."

Lorelai playfully shoved Rory away and then stood up, stretching a bit before holding out her hand. "Shall we go back?"

Rory took the hand offered and followed her mom out of the waiting room. "How are you going to tell him?"

Lorelai shook her head and gave her a sad smile. "I don't know, Angel. I'll figure something out." Lorelai paused outside of the hospital room door. "Is it wrong that I fear telling my parents more?"

"If it were anyone else asking me that, the answer would be yes. But I think I can sympathize with you in this situation."

A sharp laugh escaped Lorelai's mouth. "Yeah, lucky me." She stared at the door, blinking slowly. "I swear, no matter how many times I insist I'm a grown adult, I still fear them like I was fifteen."

Rory put her hand on her mother's back in support and followed Lorelai into the room.

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Later, after dropping Rory off at her apartment for the night, Lorelai found herself sitting in her car across from the diner. She stared ahead, not really noticing anything or anyone in particular, just watching the typical dinner rush. She felt a pang hit her and realized what it was: jealousy. She felt left out. Like everyone but her had been invited to a party and she wasn't allowed to join in. Which was ridiculous, she knew. And yet, the feeling remained.

She let her eyes roam around the square, her eyes focusing on Patty's dance studio. _When was the last time I attended a town meeting?_ she wondered. Since before she and Luke split up she realized quickly. In the beginning, she had avoided them because it meant potentially seeing Luke or answering endless questions about the breakup from the nosy but well-meaning townsfolk. And she hadn't been up for that. But somewhere along the line, she had simply stopped going period.

She realized with a start that Rory had been right. She hadn't dealt with anything. Instead, she had pushed everything aside and tried to pretend it all into non-existence. And it had worked, for awhile. Christopher had proved to be an effective distraction from life. She could almost forget everything that had happened when he was doting on her 24/7. And in the process, she had cut off what really mattered to her all along.

Stars Hollow had been more home to her than the large, elaborate structure her parent's called home. She had done more growing up in this place as an adult than she had as a child. Her first day in this town and she knew instantly it was where she belonged. She envied her daughter for getting to grow up with these kooky but wonderful people but in the end, they had both grown up under the town's wings.

She was so lost in thought, she jumped at a sudden knock on her window. Looking over, she saw Luke standing next to her. She quickly rolled down her window and gave him a sheepish smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Luke replied. One hand rested on the hood of the car as he peered down at her with concern. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she lied hoping he wouldn't push it.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Nothing."

"Okay then," he said, staring at her strangely. "You know you're making Taylor nervous sitting here in a no parking zone, right?"

"Taylor?" she asked in confusion.

"Yeah, he called me, wanting to know why you were casing the place. I told him to ask you himself but he thinks since you are loitering in front of my diner, it's my responsibility but personally, I think he's a little scared of you."

Lorelai laughed and looked over towards Doose's. She saw Taylor standing in the doorway staring over at them with a frown. She stuck her arm out of the window and gave him a wave and quick honk on her horn. He shook his head and ducked back out of sight. She snickered slightly to herself.

"So, really. What are you doing? It's freezing outside."

"I know. Which is why I'm sitting in here, with the heat on."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Wanna come inside instead?"

She looked somewhat longingly in the direction of the diner, the invitation tempting. It was on the tip of her tongue to accept. She eyed the people inside, some she knew but most she didn't, and wished for a moment to be among them. But then she remembered who would be waiting at home for her and shook her head with regret.

"I can't. I should get home."

Luke looked away and nodded. "I figured as much."

"Yeah, well," Lorelai said, not really sure what to say.

"Oh, here," Luke said suddenly, holding up a cup of coffee and offering it to her.

She smiled at him as she took the offered cup. "Wow, drive-thru! You've really broadened your services lately."

"Don't get used to it," he grumbled.

"Oh, wouldn't dream of it," she said with a laugh, before taking a sip of the black courage. "Mmm, that's good. I'd almost forgotten. You have no idea how much I need this right now."

"Oh? Something happen at the hospital?"

"Hmm? Oh no, nothing happened. I mean nothing with my father anyway. He's doing good."

"Good," Luke said simply, looking like he wanted to pry further but instead gave her a small nod. "Well, whatever is going on, good luck."

"Yeah," Lorelai said, taking another long sip. "Thanks. Well, I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, see ya," he replied and gave her a quick wave as he hurried back inside out of the cold. She watched him go, gave one last envious glance towards the welcoming environment of the diner, and pulled away from the curb. _Time to face the inevitable_, she thought with a sudden conviction that surprised her, her foot pushing down a little harder on the accelerator as she headed for home.


	9. Chapter 9

Comments make me happy. And sometimes make me write faster. Only one way to test that theory. 

Enjoy!

* * *

As Lorelai walked through the front door, she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. She placed her coat and purse on the desk, giving Paul Anka a quick pat on the head as she wandered slowly towards the noise. She stood in the doorway a moment and observed Christopher washing the dishes that she had left accumulating in the sink over the last several days. She felt a twinge of guilt inside as she observed him. With all his faults and past behavior, she knew she should hate him. However, the fact was, for whatever reason, she didn't. He was her oldest friend, someone she'd considered a life with on more than one occasion for as far back as she could remember. To now have to face the fact that her heart had moved on and flat out refused to go backwards, no matter how much she wished, was hard to think about much less voice aloud. She was about to hurt someone she cared for – again – and she felt a little bit nauseous.

Christopher turned suddenly, his elbows still submerged within the soapy water.

"Lor, I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry," she apologized quietly, looking down at the ground.

"No problem," he said with a quick smile. "Thought I'd do something useful while I waited for you to get back. I'm almost done, though."

"Sure, it's fine. Take your time," she said. _Take all night if you want. _"I'm just gonna go take a quick shower and change if you don't mind? I swear I smell like disinfectant."

"Of course," he said. "I ordered some pizza a few minutes ago. Should be here by the time you get out."

"Oh, sure," Lorelai agreed. "Pizza sounds great." She swallowed over the now permanent lump in her throat and trudged up the stairs.

------

When she came back down a little while later, the mouthwatering smells of bread, cheese and tomato sauce awoke her stomach and it grumbled loudly.

"Hey," Christopher greeted her as she entered the kitchen. He gave her a quick kiss and handed her a plate. "Eat up!" She smiled her thanks and they sat down at the table.

Lorelai took a bite and forced herself to chew. She was starving but at the same time, she could hardly make herself swallow. She gave up eventually and mindlessly picked at her pizza, staring down at the table.

"You're not eating," Chris finally pointed out after several moments of silence. "I figured you'd be starving after being at the hospital all day."

"Yeah, I thought I was, too," she said, finally looking up at him.

"But?"

"But…I guess prolonging this conversation we need to have isn't doing much for my appetite."

She saw him take a deep breath as the implication of her words settled over him. He put down his slice slowly and wiped his fingers on the napkin.

"Lor, I'm really sorry for…" he began before she cut him off.

"No, Chris, let me go first." He looked like he wanted to argue but finally motioned for her to go on as he sat back in his chair. She sat up straight, pushing her plate to the side and folding her arms on the table in front of her.

"I realized something today," she began, her heart hammering in her chest. "Something that made me feel like the lowest of the low. Remember that green, smelly gunky crap we scraped out of the bottom of the fridge a few weeks ago? That stuff is superior to me. There's not much worse you can go than me right about now. I should…I don't know…be out kicking puppies right now!"

"Lorelai…"

"No, please let me finish. I don't want to hurt you. For all the bad you've done in the past, you are a good man deep down. Which doesn't excuse anything but at the same time, I don't want to hold any of that over your head. What's done is done. And I know you are trying. And for a long time I thought that was enough. I just wanted to be happy and I'd been so very unhappy for so long, you know?

"But Chris, what I did was wrong. Going to you that first night, after Luke and I broke up, was wrong." Lorelai sighed, chewing on her bottom lip, forcing her eyes to meet his. "It was the biggest mistake I ever made."

He flinched slightly, his eyes lowering to his lap. He remained silent.

"I'm sorry, I know that probably is a crappy thing to say but it's the truth. I have to be honest with you. I can't lie to you or anyone anymore. Or, actually, I can't lie to myself anymore.

"That night, I felt like I was being torn into pieces. Like someone had put me through some human-shredder that sliced me into teeny tiny confetti pieces. I don't even really know how I got to your place. I don't really remember much. All I could think of was how badly I was hurting, how I thought I would never be able to love anyone again after Luke, how you were the one person in my life that I knew would be there. I knew you'd be there for me. And no, I didn't go over there for sex. But there was a part of me I can't deny now that knew if I went to see you, there would be no possibility of Luke talking me out of ending our engagement. I knew he would try. And I needed to not let him. So I guess deep down I knew where that night would ultimately lead, even if I wasn't actively thinking it. I don't know. All I knew was the path I was on was veering out of control and I couldn't stop it. But if I went to you, I guess, in some way you were my red light. And I swear, I don't know what is up with all my car analogies lately." She shook her head, exasperated with herself for not being able to get to the point quickly. She wanted this conversation to end as quickly as possible so she could go bury herself in a very dark, very tight space for the next eternity.

"Look, I'm not sure it matters now. Or maybe it does to you. I don't know. I just know I was miserable that night and I knew you wouldn't turn me away. Someone who could help me forget how awful of a night I'd been having, or hell, make me forget the last few crummy months.

"I used you, Chris," she finally blurted out, unable to look at him. "I'm so sorry but I did. I knew sleeping with you that night was wrong but I did it anyway. I did it because I knew it meant the end of Luke and me. Because I would never be able to not tell him if he persisted in trying to talk me out of breaking up with him, which I knew he would. And once he knew the truth? I knew that he wouldn't want me. I had no intention of starting anything up with you at the time. I didn't even want to. But then things just, I don't know, spiraled out of control after that. You showed up later, practically begging me to give you another chance. I was so lonely and scared and I don't know. I couldn't say no. I didn't have the strength to even though deep down I knew it was yet another wrong step in what had become a series of bad decisions."

Lorelai finally took a ragged breath and forced herself to look up. Chris was staring down at his hands, finding them suddenly fascinating. When she didn't continue, he finally whispered, "Wow."

"Yeah," she said, burying her head in her heads. "I'm a terrible person."

"No," he said after a moment, shaking his head. "You're not. You're an amazingly kind and generous person."

"How can you say that? After all I just said?"

"Because I've known you my whole life. And because I know you didn't mean it. And because," he paused, finally looking up at her. "Because, a part of me all along has known this. I also tried to ignore it, thought it didn't matter, but when this whole Luke thing started, I got so jealous. Because I knew there was no way you were over him. And I knew you'd eventually leave me for him. That letter just confirmed it and I kind of just lost it."

"There were no hidden meanings in that _character reference_," she said, stressing the phrase once more, "I was simply trying to give him the chance to be a father to his kid. Nothing more!"

"Like he was the father to mine? Isn't that what you said?"

"Chris, come on," she pleaded.

"No," he said. "You're right. I wasn't around like I should have been. I regret that. I really do."

"I know you do," she whispered. "And she knows it, too."

"Yeah, I guess." He fell silent a moment before raising his head and looking up at her. "I am glad she had someone in her life that cared for her that much, I really am. She deserved as much. She deserved more but, well…"

"There's no sense in rehashing the past, is there? I know you're sorry, and she knows you're sorry. What's done is done. She loves you, Chris, she always has. You're her father and nobody can take that place."

"Yeah, I know," he said, his tone indicating anything but.

"And I'm not leaving you for him, Chris. I swear. We've barely spoken in months. He doesn't want me."

"That's not the way it looks from my end."

"Then try sitting over here, buddy, cuz there's no way the guy would ever trust me with his heart again."

Christopher shook his head. "A guy doesn't get into a punching match with a woman's husband if he doesn't still love the woman."

"That was ages ago. He'd just found out I'd slept with you," Lorelai said quietly. "It was how most guys would have reacted after the fact."

"I'm not talking about that," Chris said, shaking his head. "This happened a month ago I guess. In the town square. It was ridiculous."

"What?!" Lorelai exclaimed, sitting up straight, her eyes wide. "You got into a fight in the town square?? For what possible reason? And why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I saw him. He saw me. It happened."

"God, Chris," Lorelai said, unsure what to say at this revelation. "You should have told me."

"Seemed better to just try to forget it."

Lorelai sighed and stood up. She paced a few steps around the small kitchen before finally leaning back against the sink, arms crossed against her chest. She stared at the ground, her mouth in a frown, while Chris remained rooted to his seat at the table.

"I shouldn't have made us get married that day," he finally said after a long silence.

Lorelai looked up, shaking her head. "You didn't make us get married. There was no gun involved, forcing me to stand there by your side. I could have said no."

"Yeah, but you wanted to say no. You did, actually," he reminded her. "I ignored you and all but pushed you into it. All I could think of was that finally, we had this perfect chance and we should take the leap, the rest of the world be damned. I think I knew if that didn't happen that day, it wouldn't ever happen. I had a sense that you were more or less pretending with me from the start. So it was pretty stupid of me to think that if I got you to marry me, you wouldn't be able to leave. That you wouldn't want to. Stupid, I know."

"Oh Chris," she said, shaking her head. "We are the most fucked up people I know. Talk about dysfunctional families."

"Well, we learned from the best."

A harsh sound, almost a laugh, escaped her and it was that which made Lorelai break down.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Chris," she sobbed, turning her back to him, her hands gripping the edges of the sink.

"I know," he whispered, walking towards her. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I am, too. I really wanted it to work."

"I know," she whispered as she looked out the window, staring at the trees blowing in the wind. "I did, too. You don't know how much. But it's not fair to you that my reasons were mostly because I didn't want to be alone. You deserve more than that, Chris. Hell, I deserve more than that. Even after I destroyed my own life, not to mention yours and L…Luke's. I don't know how I let things get so screwed up."

"I certainly didn't help," Christopher said quietly, moving so that his back was leaning against the edge of the counter next to her.

"Yeah, well," she said taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes. She turned her head to look at him. "What do we do now?"

"Well," he said, "I guess I'll go stay with my mom for awhile until I figure out a new living situation. And…and I guess we contact a lawyer?"

"Yeah, that makes sense," she whispered, nodding.

Christopher walked back to the table and began gathering up the plates, taking them to the sink. Lorelai moved aside to allow him to put the dirty plates in the sink. He stood there for a moment, staring out of the window. He turned back to Lorelai. "I should pack some of Gigi's things up tonight, though. I didn't take much last night and she'll want her toys."

"Oh, of course," Lorelai said, clearing her throat and wiping the last of the tears. "I'll help."

"No, no," Christopher said, waving her away. "I can do it. I need to grab a few things from our bedr…from upstairs as well."

Lorelai stood in the middle of the kitchen, her hands clutched tightly together, feeling helpless. She nodded and Christopher disappeared into what had become Gigi's bedroom. She sighed as her gaze wandered around the room. She felt as if she should be doing something but was at a loss as to what.

She looked down at the pizza box and her nose wrinkled in disgust. She occupied herself with finding room in the fridge for the oversized box and set about washing the plates Christopher had put into the sink. She finished putting away the dishes Christopher had left to dry earlier and eventually wandered into the living room. She flipped on the TV and flopped down on the couch and waited, paying more attention to the noises Christopher was making than what was on the screen. Paul Anka joined her on the couch and laid his head in her lap. He whined softly, sensing the tension in the air. She absently scratched behind his ears while she waited.

It wasn't long before Christopher had gathered what he needed and packed the car. On his last trip, she followed him outside and stood next to the car. He stared at her sadly and she focused her attention on the ground. She was sad, most definitely, but she realized with a bit of guilt that she felt lighter than she had in over a year. She didn't want him to see that in her eyes so she kept them lowered.

"I'm sorry, Chris," she whispered when he hadn't made a move to get into the car.

"Yeah, me too."

He leaned down and kissed her quickly on the cheek, giving her hand a squeeze before finally turning and climbing into his car. She stepped back slowly as he started the car. He rolled down the window. "I'll call you next week and we'll work on a time for me to get the rest of our things, ok?" She nodded and gave him a small wave as he backed the car out of the driveway.

Lorelai eventually turned and sat down on her porch steps, wrapping her arms around her self for warmth. She stared up at the clear, night sky and sighed. She wasn't exactly happy, she knew, but she wondered why she wasn't more upset than one should be after ending her marriage.

Basically, she was just tired. Exhausted from pretending all was fine with the world when in reality, she felt as if her life was in such disarray, FEMA would be at a loss to help. She pulled her knees to her chest and placed her head on top of her knees. She sniffled, more from the cold than from residual tears, and closed her eyes. She thought about a lot of things that night. She thought about Christopher. She thought about Rory. She thought about her parents. And she even thought about Luke. A year ago, the future scared her. The fear of being alone. The fear of losing those she cared for most. But suddenly, that fear had dissipated. Instead, she felt hope beginning to grow. She wasn't entirely sure what she was hoping for per se but she knew no matter what happened, she would be ok. She'd always been before, she reminded herself.

Her smile was sudden and surprising as she gazed up at the sky, the stars burning brightly with the moon full and high above her. The wind blew gently, stinging her frozen cheeks. She paid no attention.

It was a long time before she headed back inside.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Thanks to all for your continued patience. I know I take forever between updates and for that I'm sorry. As always, many thanks go out to my betas, Ann and Pathwatch! You guys rock!_

_Comments always appreciated! They make me happy and I could certainly use a little more of that right about now. ;)_

_And now, on with the show..._

* * *

"Richard," Emily chided. "For heaven's sake, take it easy! You heard what the doctor said." 

"I'm well aware of what he said. But unless you plan to carry me up the stairs yourself, how do you propose I get up there?" Richard groused.

"Which is exactly why I think you should take the guest room downstairs. Lorelai," Emily said, glancing behind her. "Tell him he shouldn't be climbing stairs yet!"

"Nonsense," Richard grumbled before Lorelai could respond. He gripped the railing tighter as he continued the slow climb. "I can handle a few measly steps. I will not be treated like a guest in my own home."

"He's doing fine, Mom," Lorelai interjected, following a few steps behind them carrying a few pieces of their luggage across her shoulder. "As long as he goes slow, the doctor said he could climb stairs just fine. Plus, walking is good for him."

"Thank you, Lorelai," Richard said, turning to smile at her.

"Anytime, Dad," she replied, ignoring the glare she got from her mother. "So, what's on the agenda for tonight? Got any crazy shenanigans planned for your first night home? Drink 'til you drop? Pull a Tom Cruise, dance around in your underwear?"

"Honestly, Lorelai," Emily said as she helped steady Richard as he climbed the last step. "Richard is doing nothing except for getting into bed. Right, Richard?"

"Yes, Emily," he smiled indulgently at his wife, as he paused at the top of the stairs to catch his breath. "I'm going straight to bed." He turned to look back at Lorelai. "But I'm curious, why was Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear?"

"Stop encouraging her, Richard," Emily warned. "Or else she'll never stop."

"I don't know, Emily" Richard said with a smile towards his daughter. "She's kind of amusing at times. You know, we don't laugh nearly enough in this house."

Lorelai grinned as she hefted the bags higher on her shoulder. "Laughter is the best medicine, I hear."

"Yes, I think I've heard that somewhere, as well," Richard replied, giving his daughter a wink as she took his arm and they shuffled slowly towards the bedroom. Emily, forced to follow behind the pair, narrowed her eyes slightly at this change in rapport between the two.

-----

"Lorelai," Emily called out as she came downstairs a little later to see Lorelai gathering her coat. "I wanted to talk to you."

Lorelai checked her watch and sighed. She'd promised Michel she'd be back by 2 and it was already after 1.

"Mom, can this wait? I've got to get back to the Dragonfly."

"No, it can't. Come sit down, please." Emily gestured towards the living room. Lorelai reluctantly followed before taking a seat as Emily sat down across from her.

"Ok, Mom," Lorelai said dramatically. "I'm sitting. What's up?"

"I want to know what's going on," Emily stated and stared at her daughter expectantly.

"In…the world? 'Cause I think I heard something about a nasty war going on somewhere."

"Stop being cute, Lorelai. Where is Christopher?"

Lorelai tensed immediately. "He's — he's working."

"And when he gets done working? Where might I be able to reach him? If I call your house tonight, will I be able to talk to him?"

"Uh, well, he might be working late tonight. If you need him, I'd recommend his cell phone," Lorelai said quickly as she stood up. "Now, I really have to go. I promised Michel-"

"Sit. Down."

Just those words alone sent Lorelai back to this very spot 25 years ago, facing her mother's wrath after being caught sneaking back home in the middle of the night. She'd never forget that night, coming face to face with her furious and seething mother and the verbal lashing she'd received. It might not have deterred her from doing it again (and again), but she'd gotten smarter at least. She started using her bedroom window instead of the front door, for one. Though Lorelai might be taller and older, clearly not much had changed the past 25 years. She sat.

Seated across from each other, the two women shared a tense moment as they stared at one another, Emily's steely expression causing Lorelai to feel smaller and smaller with every second that passed. She shifted uncomfortably, finally breaking eye contact with a defeated sigh.

"You know, don't you?" Lorelai said, unable to stand the silence a moment longer as she absently picked at a loose thread on her skirt.

Emily pursed her lips, her glare intensifying. "I know Christopher has been spending an awful lot of time at Francine's house this past week. I know other than the flower arrangement that was sent to the hospital with his name on the card, we haven't heard a single word from him. I know you've been extremely careful to not even mention his name since your father's heart attack. I know you've been fighting. And when I mentioned him to Rory last night when she called, she suddenly had to study."

Lorelai closed her eyes as she sat back against the cushions. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not purposely trying to keep you in the dark-"

Emily huffed in disbelief. "Oh please, Lorelai. You've spent your entire life perfecting that very thing."

Lorelai couldn't help but flinch at her mother's words, mainly because she couldn't deny what was said. "I'm sorry, Mom," she repeated. "I honestly don't mean to hurt you, it's just-"

"Spare me the heartfelt explanation," Emily interrupted again. "I'm not in the mood to listen to your excuses about what a terrible mother I am. I simply want to know whether my daughter is still married to our granddaughter's father."

"Technically," Lorelai said after a moment, emphasizing the word. "Yes."

"But you're not living together?"

Lorelai swallowed thickly. "No."

"I see."

"We tried," Lorelai started to explain before Emily put her hand up to stop her from continuing.

"I don't want to hear your lies right now. The truth is, you didn't try. Has it even been 3 months? That is so far beyond trying, I can't even believe you of all people would try to convince me otherwise. Oh wait, I take that back. I do believe you would."

"Mom, that's not fair!" Lorelai exclaimed, sitting up straight. "You don't know anything about what we tried or didn't try!" Lorelai said, her voice beginning to rise.

"Maybe I'd know a little more if you, just once in awhile, filled me in on what is going on in that head of yours!"

"Maybe I would if you didn't immediately treat everything that I do tell you with contempt and disappointment!"

"Your father and I have done the best we knew how to with you. All we asked in return was for a little respect."

Lorelai laughed harshly. "Oh please, Mother. The last thing you wanted was respect! You wanted someone you could mold into mini versions of yourself. Someone who said 'Yes, ma'am, yes, sir,' day in and day out. Yet you had no respect for _me_ and for what I wanted out of life!"

"Lorelai, I am not going to fight with you about this, not now," Emily said, rubbing her fingers against her temple. "Especially not now, with your father asleep upstairs recovering from a heart attack barely a week old. And please, keep your voice down. You're going to wake him up and the last thing he needs is stress."

Lorelai took a steadying breath, staring up at the ceiling. She silently counted to five.

"Getting married, it was a mistake. I knew it was a mistake the second it happened. Christopher knew it as well but we both tried to deny it. But once we both admitted it, there was no way we could stay together. No amount of counseling was going to fix something that never existed in the first place."

"Then why in the world would you do such a foolish thing if you felt that way? "

"I don't know!" Lorelai cried, throwing her hands helplessly in the air. "That's the $64,000 question, isn't it?"

"You don't know why you married a man you've spent the past two decades refusing? To the point if your father or I even mention his name, it was almost guaranteed to end in a fight with you storming out the door?" Emily asked, disbelief clearly evident in her voice and expression.

"I don't know, Mom," Lorelai said quietly. "I guess I was just feeling happy again, for the first time in a long while. I was so scared of being alone and that is not something I'm used to feeling. I suddenly found myself wanting to be married more desperately than ever before, I guess to ensure I wouldn't be alone, and Christopher loved me and I foolishly thought that was enough. Add in Paris, the romance capitol of the world, and well, I just lost my head. Plus, I had your voice in my head telling me to stop being a fool, stop trying to fight everything so hard. That here was my chance to put this family together once and for all…and I thought maybe all these years, maybe I _had_ been refusing to marry him just out of spite."

She glanced up to find her mother's face void of any discernible expression. "I was very confused, Mom. I didn't know what I was feeling but being with Christopher was easy. He made me forget."

"Forget…Luke?" Emily said after a minute.

Lorelai took a deep breath, holding it for a few lingering seconds before letting it tremble out of her slowly. "Yeah," she admitted at last, not wanting to hide the truth anymore, not even from her parents. She was just too tired to even try. "He made me forget Luke. The pain I felt last year when I realized I was losing him, when I realized he didn't want to marry me, I don't know how to describe it, Mom. I've never felt that way before, not about a man. Not even Christopher has ever made me feel that way. It was just…unbearable. A part of me was afraid that if I said no again, I'd lose Christopher for good. And then I'd have to deal with all the Luke stuff and I just didn't think I'd be able to survive that again." Lorelai impatiently brushed away the tears that had filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't honest with you from the start. I really didn't do it to hurt you. But yeah, Christopher and I have decided to get a divorce. I'm sorry if this messes up your plans for me or causes you any societal embarrassments but I really can't help that. I can't pretend to be happy and in love with someone when I'm not. It's not fair to Christopher or myself. Or Rory. And I'm sorry, but I really need to get back to work now. Tell Dad I'll call him tomorrow."

She stood up on shaky limbs and started for the door. She sniffed back the tears, her hands clumsy as she struggled to get her coat on. Finally giving up with only one sleeve on, she grabbed her purse and reached for the doorknob.

"I do understand, you know."

Lorelai stilled, her arm outstretched and frozen.

"I understand how you felt," Emily repeated, standing behind her in the foyer. "When I left your father, I thought I'd never feel whole again. I had never felt so alone before in all of my life. It felt as if every piece of me was being torn apart."

Lorelai's arm dropped to her side as she turned around. Her eyes were wide at her mother's uncharacteristic confession and she held her breath as she waited for her mother to continue.

"How did you get through it?" she finally asked after a few beats of silence, her voice small.

Emily shrugged slightly. "We got remarried."

Lorelai smiled sadly. "Somehow, I don't think that's gonna be an option for me."

"Lorelai," Emily said, her tone unfamiliarly kind but tinged with familiar impatience. "You've done a lot of stupid things in your life but this one has really taken the cake."

"Gee, thanks Mom," she said, rolling her eyes. "You really know how to cheer a person up."

"I mean it," she warned. "If you honestly think Luke didn't want to marry you, you're blind as a bat."

"You don't know-"

"No, I don't know what happened between the two of you. I don't need to know that. All I need to know is what I see with my own eyes. I've watched the two of you dance around each other for years. I knew it back when I first met the man, and I knew it every time you mentioned his name. It's why I was terrified when you finally started dating him. I saw where it was heading and I knew where it would eventually end."

"Broken engagement?" Lorelai muttered with sarcasm as she drew an invisible line on the floor with her toe.

"No, Lorelai. Marriage."

Lorelai couldn't contain the staccato laugh that escaped. "Sorry to inform you, Mom, but you might want to look into getting a new crystal ball because I don't think it's functioning too well."

"Stop being so dense, Lorelai," Emily said, exasperated.

"Fine. Then spell it out for me. What are you trying to tell me?"

"Think about it, Lorelai. A man who supposedly didn't want to marry you showed up without invitation the other day and spent half the day with possibly the most aggravating woman alive just to help me out. To help _you_ out."

"That's just who he is," Lorelai said with a helpless shrug. "He'd have done that for anyone. He'd do that for Kirk, for God's sake."

"Maybe he would have. However, I saw the way he looked at you at the hospital. And I saw the brief but obviously pained look on his face when you hugged him that day in the waiting room. That was not a man doing a favor for a friend. That was a man clearly in love and having to hide it."

Lorelai found herself unable to speak for a moment as she processed her mother's words. She couldn't deny the jump-start her heart took at the thought her mother was right. She didn't doubt Luke still cared for her but could he actually still love her?

She gave her head a firm shake. "Even if he is, it doesn't change what happened. It doesn't change what either of us did. Love isn't always enough, Mom!"

"If you both want it bad enough, it can be," Emily said, her words matter of fact and strong. "You're making this too hard."

"Wait, you hate him," Lorelai reminded her, suddenly suspicious. "Why are you trying to get us back together?"

"I don't hate him, Lorelai. He's clearly a kind, honest and hardworking man. I admire that. Your father admires that. I haven't exactly approved of the two of you together in the past, that's true."

"But now?"

"Well," Emily paused, choosing her words carefully. "You're my daughter. And despite what you may think, I do want you to be happy. And if Luke, well…clearly our versions of happiness are quite different but it's very obvious that Luke made you happy. And it's just as obvious that you haven't been happy in some time now."

Lorelai stared at the older woman in shock, unable to speak. She bit her lip to keep her mouth from gaping open in surprise. She just barely restrained herself from looking behind her to be sure her mother, Emily Gilmore, was actually speaking to her. Her eyes glanced towards the staircase as sudden realization began to dawn.

"Wow," Lorelai whispered.

"What?"

"Dad really scared you, didn't he?"

Emily stiffened slightly, her eyes focusing on a spot on the wall to Lorelai's right. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Lorelai smiled softly, shaking her head. "Nothing. Never mind. I appreciate what you are saying and…and thank you. It means a lot, coming from you."

"Yes, well," Emily stammered slightly, her eyes darting around the foyer, unable to meet her daughter's eyes for a moment. She took a deep breath as she forced her attention back on Lorelai and released a small, tired sigh. "Just think about what I said. If you want something bad enough, you have to fight for it. I just can't believe I have to remind you of all people of that fact."

An almost contrite expression crossed Lorelai's features as she stared up at a spot on the ceiling as her mother's words rang in her ears. It was not lost on her that in her desperate desire to not lose Luke, to give him the space she knew he wanted and needed to adjust to the life altering event that was April, that she'd somehow managed to lose herself in the process. She sighed as she glanced down at her watch.

"Look, Mom," she apologized. "I'm sorry but I really do have to go. Michel is going to throw a conniption fit if he misses his yoga class again because of me."

"Fine, go," she said. "Tell him it's my fault if you want."

"Exactly my plan," Lorelai said with a grin as she opened the front door and stepped outside into the cold. She turned to give an almost shy look back towards Emily. "Thanks, Mom."

Emily nodded with a small hint of a smile. "See you Friday," she simply said. As she watched her daughter dash towards her Jeep, she couldn't refrain from calling out, "Don't be late!"

-----

Lorelai swerved slightly in her lane as she fumbled in her purse for cell phone. Her fingers grabbing it finally, she waved a quick apology to the driver coming towards her and clicked the talk button.

"Hey, babe! How's the catching up going?"

"It's going," sighed Rory. "I only missed 3 days! But it's going to take me 2 weeks of reading to catch up!"

"My little speed reader? You'll be done in one week and you know it."

"I wouldn't bet on it," Rory laughed. "Where are you? I called the Dragonfly. Michel sounded pissed, by the way."

Lorelai sighed dramatically. "I know. I'm late _again_ and he's convinced he'll miss his yoga class _again_ because of me. He's been stressing about it for days now." She glanced at the speedometer and pushed down a little harder on the pedal.

"Why are you late? It's not like you to linger at the grandparent's house. Everything go ok with Grandpa?"

"Oh, that went fine. Like a good little boy, he went straight to bed and was pretty much dead to the world within minutes. The trip home tired him out. But with Emily Gilmore breathing down your neck every second of the day, I wouldn't put it past him to fake it."

"She's just worried about him, Mom," Rory reminded her. "Cut her some slack right now."

"Don't worry, we're good," Lorelai said as she took the exit towards Stars Hollow. "A little too good actually," she added as an afterthought with a curious frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, just that Emily knows about the divorce and the universe didn't implode."

"You told her already? I thought you were going to wait until Friday so that I could be your buffer."

"That was the original plan, yes. But apparently her network of spies were not informed of said plan and she basically cornered me into admitting what was going on."

"Well, at least it's out in the open. So Grandma's really ok with it? She didn't get mad?"

"Oh, she got mad but after a few exchanges in our outside voices, she ended up trying to get Luke and I back together."

"You are kidding!" Rory exclaimed in disbelief. "But she hates Luke!"

"Who knows with your grandmother? I can't keep up with her. Nearly twenty-five years of my life has been nothing but 'Christopher this,' and 'Christopher that.' And now it's practically 'Christopher who?'"

"Speaking of…" Rory said suddenly, her voice hesitant as she trailed off.

"Yes?" Lorelai asked with a sigh. "What did he do now?"

"Nothing. It's just that, well, I talked to him today. He called me, actually."

"Oh," Lorelai said, surprised. "Well, good. That's good, kid."

"Really?"

"Of course, 'really,'" Lorelai said. "I've always wanted you to be on good terms with your dad."

"No, I know," Rory said, quick to agree. "I just didn't know if you wanted to hear about it."

"I definitely want to hear about it. I'm glad he called you. I was worr…" Lorelai stopped herself suddenly before she could continue that thought.

"What?" Rory prodded. "You were worried he'd disappear like he usually does after you guys fight and forget about me?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No, Rory, that's not-"

"It's ok, Mom," Rory interrupted, her voice low and quiet. "It's not like I was completely oblivious growing up despite your best efforts to hide it. Whenever you guys fought or you turned down another marriage proposal, he tended to disappear without a word for months."

"You always were too smart for your own good," Lorelai said, her voice light to cover the crack she felt in her already battered heart that happened anytime her baby girl sounded sad.

"Good thing I go to Yale, then," quipped Rory.

Lorelai pulled into her parking spot at the Dragonfly but she remained inside the warmth of her vehicle for a few extra minutes. She sat with the engine idling and leaned her head against the window. "I'm sorry, babe," she finally said. "He didn't mean it. It didn't mean he didn't love you."

"I know," Rory said. "He's just immature."

Lorelai couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah," she said. "That's a good word for him. He's trying, though. He really is trying to be better. He knows he was wrong and he regrets it all, you know."

"Yeah, I know. He told me."

"He did?" Lorelai asked, surprised again.

"Well, kinda. I knew what he was trying to say anyway. He's bringing Gigi to New Haven tomorrow night and we're going to have dinner. "

"That's great! I'm really glad, babe."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, I'm sorry to cut out on this really great, heartfelt moment we're having here, but I really do need to get back to reading."

"Yeah, and I gotta get inside before Michel blows an artery. If anyone needs the benefits of yoga, it's Michel. He could be their poster child! It could say, 'Do yoga or turn into this!'"

Rory laughed and after a few more parting words, the two hung up. With a sigh, Lorelai tossed her cell into her purse and climbed out of the jeep and hurried towards the doors. She was barely to the front steps when the door flew open and one very angry French man stormed out, arms folded tight across his chest and a sour expression on his face.

"You're late!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry! But you've got 10, er, 7 minutes! You can still make it if you hurry!"

"You did this to me on purpose, didn't you?" Michel muttered as he stormed past her in a huff, nearly knocking her over. "You live to make my life miserable! Admit it!"

"My to do list, it just got that much shorter," she called after him.

"I hate you!" he yelled back.

"God, I need coffee," she muttered to herself as she walked inside and headed towards the kitchen.

_to be continued…_


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: As always, thanks go out to my betas, Ann and Pathwatch! Any mistakes left are mine alone (and let's blame them on my upper respiratory infection, shall we? It should at least be good for something!)

Thanks to all of you for continuing with me and being patient with my slow as molasses writing speed.

* * *

"Sookie!" Lorelai called as she hurried towards the kitchen, nearly knocking a guest over in the process. Muttering a quick apology and stopping only long enough to ensure he was all right, she pushed through the swinging door.

"Sook!"

"What, sweetie?" Sookie answered, barely looking up from her position at the stove. There was a flurry of activity scurrying around the kitchen, the small area filled with clattering pots and pans and a din of voices as everyone shouted out instructions from their various positions scattered across the room.

"Please tell me there is fresh coffee?" Lorelai asked amidst the clamor, quickly hopping to the side to avoid crashing into the newest addition to the kitchen staff as he moved swiftly in her direction.

"'Scuse me, Lorelai, hot plates coming through!"

"Manny, where's the chopped onions I asked for hours ago?" Sookie hollered, ignoring Lorelai's question. "Do I have to do it all myself? Why do I even hire you people?"

"Five minutes ago you asked for them, Sookie. Five minutes!" Manny hollered back as he brushed past Lorelai with the chopping board filled with tiny pieces of onion. Lorelai wrinkled her nose at the eye-watering aroma that filtered past and headed towards the coffee.

"Sookie!" she exclaimed in dismay at the empty pot.

"Yeah? What is it?"

She held up the pot and thrust it towards her friend's direction and waited for her to look up.

"The coffee pot? What about it?" Sookie asked before turning back to Manny, rattling off new orders.

"Oh, I don't know Sookie — it's empty? Or did we switch to invisible coffee?"

"Huh?" Sookie asked. "Aiden, how's that chicken coming?"

"10 minutes!" came the reply from the back.

Lorelai sighed, resigning herself to making a fresh pot of coffee herself since it was clear Sookie was too distracted to even realize there was life outside of the kitchen much less that the force to keep certain lives running required mega amounts of coffee.

As she went about refilling the pot, Sookie had scurried over to the sink next to her.

"Dad came home today," Lorelai informed her as she leaned against the counter.

"Yeah?" Sookie replied as she rummaged in the cabinets below. A crash of pans clattered towards the floor after she pulled out the item she needed, which Sookie left where they landed. Manny immediately appeared and stooped down to start cleaning it up, shaking his head and muttering under his breath in Spanish.

"Yeah, he's doing good," Lorelai called towards her retreating back. "We got him settled this morning at home."

"Good, sweetie. That's really good," she said. "Hey, I need that garlic sauce!"

"Coming!" someone called out.

Lorelai walked over to sit on one of the stools at the counter as she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. "I told Mom."

"Mmmhmm?"

"Yeah, she's actually ok with things. I think. At least this morning she was. I mean, there was yelling of course, the typical Gilmorian Disappointment and all. But in the end, I think she really heard me. She understood and I think she's ok with it all. At least, today she is. Tomorrow she could pull a Sybil and we'll be back to 'Why can't you keep a man? Why do you constantly insist on humiliating the Gilmore name?' Blah, blah, blah."

"Good, that's really good."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes. "Sookie?"

"What honey?"

"You're not listening to me," Lorelai said, on the verge of whining.

"Sure I am," Sookie said, glancing up at her for a second to give her a quick smile. "Your dad's home. You had a fight with Emily. The usual, right?"

She exhaled a dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Never mind. I've gotta get to work anyway. I'm supposed to be manning the front desk while Michel's out."

"Ok, hon," Sookie said without looking up.

Lorelai poured herself a cup of coffee and quickly made a face at the first sip.

"Ugh!" she said in distaste, shaking her head. "Sookie, did you switch brands?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, the supplier was out of what we usually order. Not good?"

"Horrid!" she said, glaring down into the cup before taking another tentative sip. "Oh man, still bad."

"I'll keep an eye on it," Sookie murmured, staring down into the pot with a frown of concentration.

Lorelai sighed as she heard a bell chime from the other room, indicating someone was waiting at the front desk. As she was about to leave the kitchen, Sookie called out her name. She paused in the doorway and turned back around.

"Sorry, Lorelai," Sookie said with an apologetic smile. "Things are a little crazy today."

"Yeah, I noticed. What's going on?"

"Party of about thirty people coming tonight. We booked it earlier this week, did I forget to tell you?"

"Ah, so that explains the scent of panic in the air. Glad to hear business is booming even in my absence," Lorelai said with a smile. "Guess I'm a little too distracted right now. Sorry for the disturbance, Sook."

"Don't worry about it. We'll chat later, ok?"

Lorelai smiled at her friend as she took another sip of the disgusting liquid, making another face as she pushed through the doors.

"You know, you could just stop drinking it," Sookie called after her.

"Hi, did you just tell Lorelai Gilmore to not drink coffee? You must be distracted!" Lorelai called over her shoulder with a laugh.

Keeping the smile plastered on, she headed towards the desk to greet the customers waiting to check in.

----------

"Hey, Lor. Uh, just checking in, seeing how you are. And, well, also to let you know that I met with a lawyer today and the papers are being drawn up as we speak. Anyway — call me."

Lorelai stared down at her answering machine while Paul Anka whined in the doorway to the kitchen. She'd been on her way there when she hit the message button but had stopped when Christopher's voice came on the line.

Lorelai Gilmore: Divorcée.

She ran her fingers through her mess of curls and sighed.

"If there was an Olympic sport for fucking up one's life the most, you'd take home the gold," she muttered to herself, hitting the delete button and continuing her way to the kitchen. Paul Anka barked twice in quick succession as he turned in excited circles while she filled his bowl.

Distracted, she left the kitchen and threw herself down on the couch, pulling a pillow over her head. When Paul Anka barked again and whined, she lifted her head to peer back towards the kitchen.

"Oh for the love of Lassie…"

She threw the pillow on to the floor and pulled herself back to the kitchen. She switched the light off, leaving her strange pooch in the dark to eat his meal. She took a few steps backwards until she was out of sight and sure enough, within a few seconds she heard the familiar munching commence.

"Crazy dog," she said under her breath as she stood in the middle of her living room. She checked her watch and saw it was barely even 7. She could go to bed early but she wasn't tired. She could watch a movie, but she felt too restless to sit still.

She dug out her phone from her purse and hit the familiar speed dial. She sighed when she got voice mail.

"Hey, hon! Just wanted to make sure you were getting the necessary daily interruptions into your studying. You're smart enough already. Remember, boys like 'em dumb. Call me!"

She flipped her phone shut and threw it into her purse. She stared around at her surroundings, her hands on her hips as she turned slowly in a circle.

"I'm bored," she finally said to the wall in front of her. The wall simply stared back but her stomach rumbled slightly in response.

"Food!" she exclaimed. "Duh, of course." She grabbed her purse and headed towards the door.

"I'm going out, Paul Anka! No letting in neighborhood puppies for a night of frolicking — I mean it, mister. This house better be in the same condition I left it when I get back!"

To her amusement, Paul Anka barked in response from his spot in the kitchen.

"God, I love that dog," she said to herself as she shut the door behind her.

She was pondering where she would eat as she walked, not paying much attention to where her legs were taking her. Nothing sounded good to her despite her rumbling tummy. It wasn't long before she realized she was looking directly at Luke's. After hesitating briefly, she continued heading in that direction until she was standing in front of the steps. A Luke's burger sounded perfect to her and her stomach loudly agreed.

It had been nearly a week since she'd seen Luke last. He'd made it clear several times she was welcome in the diner but something was holding her back from going in. Today's coffee disaster had made her ultra aware once again how much she missed her daily stops in the diner. It wasn't even just him she missed, or his coffee. It was simply having a favorite place to stop in several times a day. It was predictable but at the same time, not at all with whatever crazy antics the townies were up to on that particular day. She missed the weirdness of Kirk, Taylor's obsessive festival drama, not to mention that much to Luke's chagrin, that diner was gossip central. She hardly knew what anyone was up to anymore except when she happened to pass Babette out in her yard, talking to her gnomes.

It was awkward, though, because even though they'd spoken several times and things had been as good as they could be between them, she still felt a little uneasy around him. Guilt had a way of surfacing whenever she saw or thought about him and avoidance had worked well for her so far. Not to mention, she still felt a little like an outsider in her own town which made going inside a little more difficult than it should be.

But her mother's words from that morning rang in her ear. It seemed impossible to her that Luke would ever want anything from her again. Not to mention, did she even want them to get back together? She still loved Luke, of course, but that didn't discount that there were big problems involved in their break-up. And while she contributed to a good portion of that, he wasn't exactly blameless either, she mused. If they did get back together, would things just go back to how they were? Had he changed at all? Better yet, had she?

"Sugah! You goin' in or what?"

Lorelai whirled around with surprise to see Babette and Patty standing before her. They shared equal stares of concern mixed with amusement.

"What?"

"You're blockin' the entrance, doll!"

"Easy, Babette," Miss Patty said, turning to her friend. "It's her first time back in the diner. Let her take her time." She turned back to Lorelai, putting a supportive hand on her shoulder. "You go in when you're ready, sweetie."

"Oh, no, I was just…lost in thought. Didn't, uh, realize I was standing here." When Patty and Babette shared a look, she added quickly, "It's no big deal."

Holding her breath, she turned and pushed through the doors and the achingly familiar jingle of the bells above her head caused her to look up as she took the steps necessary to enter the diner. She tensed a moment as she lingered just inside the doorway and then breathed a sigh of relief when nobody seemed to take notice. She held her head high and marched up to the counter without looking around and sat down, trying to act as if she'd never been gone.

"Hey there, Lor-e-lai," Zach said, drawing her name out in three distinct syllables as he appeared before her. "Haven't seen you around here in a long time."

"Zach," she said, surprised to see him behind the counter. "Hi. When, uh, when did you start working here?"

"A few weeks ago," he explained as he made a grab for his order pad. "Lane felt bad having to leave Luke all high and dry so I thought I'd step in. You know? It's not half bad really. This diner business is pretty fun. It's not a career change or anything, so don't go getting any ideas. I'm still very much 'Rock 'n' Roll'. But you know, gotta make some dough somehow. Got two babies to feed soon. And man, the diapers. Do you know how many diapers kids use?!"

"I have a vague recollection, yes," Lorelai replied with a grin.

"Sure, yeah, of course you do," Zach replied, nodding his head. He leaned a hip against the counter, his arms folded in front of him. "But that was just one kid! Imagine two! At once! And of course, double the food. Lane's of course going to breast feed so we can save a little money on baby food for awhile-"

"Wow, Zach, that's great. Really," Lorelai said hurriedly, interrupting before he could get further into the details. "It's great of you to help out here. I'm sure Luke appreciates it."

"Yeah, he's cool, you know? I mean, Lane always said he was but until I started working here, I just had her word for it. I'd never really hung around the dude much. But yeah, he's been really great." He leaned over the counter towards her, lowering his voice. "A little grouchy at times but mostly, yeah, he's a pretty cool dude."

"This 'dude' is going to be even more grouchy if you don't get back to work," Luke said, coming out from the storeroom. "That guy over by the window is signaling you."

"Oh, sure thing, boss!" Zach said, straightening up quickly. "No problem-o." As he rounded the counter and passed by Lorelai, he leaned in to whisper, "See what I mean? Grou-chy."

Lorelai couldn't contain the laugh and she shook her head as she turned back to Luke. "Wow, so you've got Zach here now. How's that working out?"

Luke frowned after his new employee. "He's fine. Better than nothing, I guess. So," he said, his hands awkwardly on his hips.

"So…" Lorelai repeated, staring down at her fingers splayed out on the counter. She frowned at the chipped polish, realizing in the craziness of the week she'd neglected her weekly manicure. Shoving her hands in her lap, she glanced up at him with a small smile.

"Coffee?" he suddenly asked, grabbing a cup from beneath the counter.

"Oh sure, yeah, coffee would be great, thanks!" Lorelai stammered, suddenly wishing she were in a real chair where she could lean back. She suddenly felt a great need to be able to put her back up against something solid.

"What else?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want anything else? Or just the coffee?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess."

"You guess…you want something else or you guess you just want coffee?"

"Uh, sorry. Yeah, I'll have a burger."

Luke nodded, not even needing to ask what kind as he wrote it down. "Fries?"

"Please," she said, biting her lower lip and suddenly feeling ridiculous.

"Got it," he said. "Be right back."

Lorelai let out her breath and slumped in the stool as soon as he was out of sight. She wondered if she'd ever feel normal around him again.

Nearly an hour later, after eating her dinner and chatting some with Patty and Babette and trying not to laugh at Kirk's latest drama, at least directly to his face, she began to gather up her things. Unfortunately, Luke had mostly spent the time she'd been there in the back so they'd barely exchanged words beyond her initial order. She quietly sighed her disappointment and called out to Zach to bring her the bill.

When she looked up from digging in her purse, she discovered Luke standing in front of her instead.

"Oh!" she said, her hand going to her chest as she took a step back. "Luke, hi."

"Sorry," he said with a small smile. "You leaving?"

"Uh, yeah," she said with a nod. "It's getting late."

Luke nodded while looking down at the floor, rocking slightly on his heels. "Well," he finally said. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too," she said as she started to turn towards the door. Pausing suddenly, she faced Luke again. "Um, do you have a minute by chance? To talk I mean?" She hadn't intended to say the words and she momentarily panicked after they'd come out.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

Lorelai swallowed thickly. "Talk. Can we talk?"

"About what?"

Good question, she thought. Lorelai glanced around, noticing Kirk staring at them from a few stools down.

"Just about…stuff. Um, can we go upstairs maybe?"

"I'm working."

"Can't Zach take over? Please, Luke. Just for a minute?"

Luke stared at her, his face relaxing some as he tossed down his pad. "Zach! Cover me."

"No problem, boss!" he called out as he meandered from table to table chatting up the customers.

Luke motioned for her to go ahead and she hurried up the stairs as he followed a few paces behind.

Once inside the apartment, Luke closed the door and stood unmoving in front of it. Lorelai wandered briefly around the small interior, not fully expecting the myriad of emotions that rushed towards her from simply being inside his place again. Something was different about it, she realized with a small frown, as she glanced around the room.

"Wow, you've done some…decorating," she said at last, noticing at first the new tablecloth and then the new pictures hanging on the wall. She walked over to one to see him and April standing in front of a school bus, his arm resting across her shoulders. April was grinning up at the camera, her glasses slipped down her nose slightly. Luke was staring down at her with the unmistakably proud smile of a smitten father. She stood mesmerized by the photo. She found that she couldn't take her eyes off of it.

"Oh yeah, April's doing," she heard Luke saying form behind her. "She wanted to lighten the place up while she was staying here."

Lorelai nodded, finally dragging her eyes away from the picture. "Cute picture," she murmured, motioning to it with her head.

"One of the parents took that on the last day of that math thing I chaperoned last year."

"Ah," she said, not particularly wanting to remember that period of time. "Cute," she repeated, looking down at her shoes.

"Thanks," he said quietly, mimicking her stance. "So, Lorelai, I'd really rather not leave Zach alone down there for long. What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh," she said, suddenly remembering why she was up here to begin with. "I don't know. I was just hoping we could talk."

"Yes, you've mentioned that. But about what exactly?"

Lorelai paced through the apartment for a minute before coming back to stare at the picture of Luke and April. She felt that ever-present lump tighten in her throat and cursed herself.

"Lorelai?" Luke prodded with impatience. "Zach. Downstairs. Probably trying to set up some sort of band night in the diner as we speak."

"I'm getting divorced," she suddenly blurted out, whirling around to face him. Lorelai could have smacked herself at that admission. Not exactly the way she'd intended it to come out, so harsh and direct. Actually, she hadn't intended it to come out at all. It's not that she hadn't considered telling Luke but with their relationship as weird as it was, she had been delaying it as long as possible. She wasn't even all that convinced he would care.

"Luke?" she finally asked when he didn't respond. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah," he said, looking up at her, his expression blank. "I heard you."

"Ok," she said. "Good."

When he continued to stare at her without speaking, she felt a sudden sinking feeling in her gut. "I guess, I guess I just wanted you to know is all. Chris and I are getting a divorce. It's over. I'm about to officially become a divorcée. The French always make things sound so much better, don't they? Almost glamorous," she babbled.

Luke's silent stare was beginning to unnerve her and she fidgeted where she stood, wringing her hands tightly together.

"So, that's all," she murmured with a shrug. "I just felt you should know and you should hear it from me. I'll just let you get back to the diner now."

She brushed past him, her throat tight with heavy disappointment she didn't even think she had the right to feel, as she fumbled for the doorknob. She didn't know what she'd expected really with regards to a reaction but his apparent complete disinterest in the news clearly stung.

"I already knew."

She stopped with the door only partially open and turned back to face him.

"You did? When? Who?" For a second, she had an irrational thought that Emily Gilmore was somehow involved.

"A couple of days ago. Babette saw him packing up the U-Haul and well, it wasn't hard to figure out what that meant."

"So like, the whole town knows?" she asked in dismay and at the same time partially shocked that nobody had confronted her about it. Of course, she reminded herself, she'd been at the hospital the majority of the week.

"You expected anything else? You live next door to one of the Stars Hollow gossip queens!"

"I know. But she wasn't supposed to be home." In actuality, she'd planned it for that exact time simply because Babette had mentioned Morey was treating her to night out on the town that particular night and she thought it best they do this without prying, busy-bodied eyes trained on their every move.

"Guess she changed her plans," Luke said, heading for the kitchen. He pulled out a beer from the fridge and popped the top off. "Want one?"

She looked up in surprise. "I thought you needed to get back to the diner."

He shrugged, simply handing her the bottle and grabbing another for himself. "Sit."

She took a few hesitant steps to the kitchen table and sat down. She cradled the bottle between her palms and began to pick at the label while she waited for him to join her.

"So," he finally said, taking his seat across from her. "Want to talk about it?"

She looked up, her eyes wide. "You want to hear about my divorce?"

"Not really," he said, finding a spot over her shoulder that was apparently fascinating. "But you seem like you might want to, what with the sudden desire to talk and blurting it out like you did, so…"

She laughed without humor. "No, I don't really want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it, actually. Too upsetting."

"I see," Luke said slowly. "So this wasn't your idea, I take it?"

Lorelai wondered if she'd actually heard the disappointment in his voice or simply made it up. "Uh, no, it was my idea," she confirmed. "But I guess you could say it was more mutual than anything. But I was the one who forced the conversation."

She tried to read Luke's reaction but he was careful to keep his face blank. He took a swig of the beer in lieu of responding and continued to look at that spot over her shoulder.

"Anyway, he and Gigi have moved out, lawyers have been contacted, so it's pretty much over except for the official signing on the dotted line."

Luke nodded while taking another drink.

Lorelai sighed. "So…you have nothing to say to that?"

Luke finally made eye contact with her. "And what do you want me to say exactly, Lorelai?"

She flinched slightly at the unexpected coldness in his tone.

"I don't know. Yippee?" she muttered, staring down at the mess of what remained of the label on the table before her. She pushed the bottle away from her, the contents only half drunk.

"Yippee?" Luke said after a short pause, sitting back in his chair with such force the legs scraped loudly against the floor, causing her head to jerk up fast at the unexpected noise. "You expected to walk in here after all this time, tell me you're divorcing that idiot, and me to say 'Yippee?' Should I do some cartwheels, too? Would that suffice? Or maybe I should throw in some Disney tunes to spice it up a bit?" His voice was on the verge of yelling and she mentally kicked herself.

"Calm down, Luke. I was kidding. Frankly, if you ever said 'yippee' to anything I'd be checking for implants. And do you even know any Disney songs?"

"Lorelai," he said with exasperation as he stood up and paced through the tiny kitchen. "I just don't understand you sometimes. Words come out but they make no sense! What exactly do you want from me here?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "Nothing, I guess."

"Oh don't tell me 'nothing.' You clearly want something. You wouldn't have come here and made a big production out of informing me your big, exciting news otherwise!"

"'My big exciting news'?" Lorelai repeated, incredulous. "I'm sorry, Luke, I guess I thought you should know is all."

"You didn't feel it necessary to inform me you were getting married to that asshole. Why bother to tell me when it crashes and burns? Not that I am the least bit surprised."

"Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" Lorelai demanded.

"You've been chasing after that moron for decades now. You think I haven't watched him break your heart time after time? Why would this time be any different? You're deluding yourself if you ever thought you could have a lasting marriage with that man!"

"I have not been chasing him around anywhere, and especially not lately. You think I wasn't surprised at this turn of events? I certainly as hell never planned it!"

"Could've fooled me," Luke muttered as he downed the remainder of his beer, throwing it harshly into the trash. Lorelai flinched slightly at the sound of the bottle breaking.

"Look," she said after taking a few seconds to calm her breathing. She stood up and this time, it was her turn to pace. "I know you must think I went to him to hurt you. That I did all of this to hurt you. But I swear to you, Luke, I didn't."

Luke snorted his disbelief, shaking his head at her.

"I swear, Luke," she repeated, holding her arms out in front of her. "I didn't. I wasn't even thinking straight that night. I regretted it instantly, you have to believe me!"

"Oh, I have to believe you? That's rich, Lorelai. That's really, really rich. You cheat on me with…him…immediately after begging me to marry you that very minute I might add, and now your word suddenly means something? Are you kidding me with this crap?"

"I didn't cheat on you! We broke up!"

"You might want to work on your communication skills a little more because I wasn't really aware of that fact at that time," Luke all but sneered in reply. "And you sure as hell didn't seem to be too broken up about it if the first thing you do is jump in that asshole's bed!"

"Don't tell me what I was feeling, Luke!" Lorelai yelled, her arms flailing wildly. "You have no fucking idea how bad I was feeling so don't you even dare try to tell me otherwise! I felt as though my entire world had exploded and was currently crumbling down around me. And after spending months, Luke, MONTHS, feeling this impending doom coming, I lost my head a little bit, ok? I did a stupid, horrible thing and it's pretty much unforgivable, I know that. I accept that! But don't you dare try to tell me how I possibly could have felt!" She felt the horrifying sensation of tears prickling behind her eyes and willed herself not to lose it in front of him.

Luke stood before her with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed, a glare prominently on his face. His face had darkened with anger as his jaw worked and for a moment it seemed as if he as about to reply. When he finally did speak, however, his voice was tense yet controlled. "I can't do this right now. I can't have this conversation right now. I have a diner to run."

"Go run your fucking diner, then! I'm done!" Lorelai shouted, this time unable to stop the tears from escaping. She turned on her heel and threw open the door and with a slam that made Luke wince, she stormed down the stairs, ignoring the wide-eyed stares of the remaining diner patrons as she flew past and out the door.

_To be continued..._

:::ducks from flying coffee cups and danishes:::

I promise to do my best to be speedier with the next chapter. I know this is an evil place to leave it. So sorry, my dear readers!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: We're nearing the end, folks. I hope to be able to get these next couple of chapters out speedier from here on out. Probably not this fast but still, quicker than I have.

Thanks as always to Pathwatch and Ann for the beta!

Ok, on with the show...

* * *

By the time Lorelai had reached her home, the tears had thankfully stopped. She was more humiliated than upset anyway, she told herself. How stupid could she be, she wondered, to think they could be friends after all that happened? That he'd care at all about the impending divorce. Of course he wouldn't want to talk to her about it, she reasoned as she dropped her purse and keys onto the desk. It was ridiculous of her to even think she should have broached the topic in the first place. 

She didn't fully understand though why he'd been reaching out to her the last few weeks if he still hated her so much. _Maybe his coffee sales were declining and he simply was trying to bolster his income_, she thought with some bitterness. Clearly, whatever his motivation was, she'd read the signals way wrong. He didn't want her back in his life in any way. That was more than obvious now. Maybe Emily was right that he still loved her, maybe she was wrong. No matter, clearly there was too much hurt and anger blocking any prospect of any type of future, platonic or otherwise. He was simply being Luke, reaching out to those in need. Their lengthy past, no matter how rocky, had made him feel he had little choice in lending his hand as he had done his entire life for people, including those he barely tolerated.

She collapsed onto the couch with her head in her hands, elbows resting against her knees. She told herself it didn't matter. She didn't care. She'd accepted long ago there was no future for the two of them so there really wasn't anything to be upset about, she reasoned.

So why then was she crying again?

Lorelai laid back on the couch, pulling the quilt draped over the back down over her, sniffling quietly. Paul Anka padded to her and laid his head gently on the couch cushion next to her head and gave a tentative lick to her tear stained face. She leaned over and buried her face into his neck and let his soft fur wipe her cheeks.

"Hey boy," she whispered. "Thanks for taking care of me. From now on, how 'bout you be the man of the house, 'k?" She scratched him gently behind his ears and he nuzzled her cheek. She closed her eyes and attempted to clear her mind. The day had been exhausting and she needed a good night's sleep but she suddenly lacked any energy to pull herself up the stairs to her bed.

Some time later, she woke to Paul Anka's sudden bark. She sat up on the couch, her heart pounding as she looked around at her surroundings in confusion. The lights were still on in her living room and she didn't know what time it was, but since it was still dark outside, she assumed it was fairly late.

A sound came from outside and Paul Anka barked again. He was standing in the foyer, staring at the door and whining softly. She got up slowly and crept silently towards the window. She peered outside and saw a figure hunched over, sitting on her steps. With the porch light being off, it would normally be impossible to distinguish, but she'd recognize that shape anywhere.

Taking a deep breath to quell the sudden nerves, she shooed Paul Anka away and opened the door. She slipped her arms into the jacket she'd been wearing earlier as she stepped outside and sat down on the steps.

Luke looked over at her, his arms wrapped around his knees. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi." Lorelai was hesitant to say more, not until she knew why he was sitting on her porch in the middle of the night. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes while Lorelai tried to stay silent, trying to allow him to get his thoughts in order. Her patience never being something to be proud of, she finally gave in with a sigh.

"So, is this round two?" she asked softly, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Hmm?" Luke replied. "Oh, no."

When he didn't continue, Lorelai tried again. "Ok," she said, "then can I ask why you're sitting out here, in the cold, on my front porch in the middle of the night?"

"Couldn't sleep," he said, staring straight ahead.

"So you thought you'd have better luck on my front steps?"

He looked over at her for a moment and gave her a sheepish smile. "I went for a walk. And, I don't know, somehow ended up here. Saw the lights on and figured you must be up but I couldn't bring myself to knock. So I just sat down instead."

Lorelai fidgeted slightly, pushing her hands in between her knees for warmth and stared up at the stars. "It's so quiet out here. Peaceful. It's almost enough to forget…well, everything. What time is it, anyway?"

Luke glanced down at his watch. "A little after midnight."

After another stretch of silence, Lorelai sighed. "I'm sorry, Luke," she said, leaning against the side of the railing.

"For what?" he asked.

"For being, I don't know, presumptuous earlier. For thinking you'd want to talk to me or know what was going on. I guess I read the signals wrong or something but I thought you wanted to be friends again. Or something. I don't know. It was stupid."

"No," his voice barely above a whisper. "You weren't reading the signals wrong. It wasn't stupid."

"It wasn't?" she asked, surprised. "Then help me out here, Luke. What's with the Jekyll and Hyde routine?"

"I'm sorry, Jekyll and Hyde?"

"Yeah, you know the story about the doctor guy who could turn himself into this evil man who went about killing people–"

"I know the story, Lorelai," Luke said. "I just don't get the reference as it pertains to me."

"I don't know, you act all friendly, coming to the hospital, running errands for my mom, bringing us food, inviting me back to the diner, calling me to check up on how things are going…and then when I do come in, you're distant, barely talk to me and then get into a massive screaming fight when you do. It's a little confusing, to tell you the truth."

"I wish I knew how to explain it."

"Try," she begged, leaning forward to try to get him to look at her. "Because I just need to know what you want. If you don't want me to come to the diner, just tell me. I'll stay away, I swear!"

"It's a public place, Lorelai. I can't stop you from coming in."

"But I don't want to be there if it bothers you or makes you uncomfortable, Luke. Because that's just going to make me uncomfortable. And frankly, I don't need that stress right now."

"It's fine, I want you there," Luke insisted.

"Then am I just simply a customer, a way to boost your coffee sales? Or are we friends? Just tell me, Luke, and I'll do whatever it is that you want."

Luke shook his head in frustration. "I thought, I don't know, I thought I was past all of this. I really did. I no longer heard your name or saw you across the street and wanted to punch a wall. Instead, I had simply resigned myself to it all. You'd moved on, I'd moved on, so why couldn't we be adults about it and at least be on friendly terms? I was so grateful with what you wrote to the judge and thought you had to still care a little if you'd go to the trouble of writing all of that in the first place. And then when I heard about your father, all I could think about was getting there to help."

"I really appreciated that, Luke," Lorelai added when he paused. "It meant a lot."

He looked over at her with a small smile before continuing. "I really thought I was over it all, Lorelai. But apparently, I'm not because just the thought of you and him now is enough to make me…and I don't really know what to do with that realization. It was a bit of a surprise, to tell you the truth. I guess my anger at myself came out at you tonight because of that."

Lorelai nodded. "I get that. I really do. It was just about the most awful thing I could have done. I regretted it instantly, Luke. I really did. I know you don't believe me but I swear, Luke, it's true."

"I do believe you," Luke said.

"You do? But earlier you said…"

"I know what I said. I was angry," he shrugged, feeling helpless and foolish. "I wanted to lash out. It was wrong, though. And I'm so sorry, for all of it."

Lorelai shrugged. "It's ok, Luke. I understand you're hurt and you have every right to be. I didn't think I was capable of stooping that low. I will never forgive myself for it, either."

Luke shook his head, turning to face her fully. "Lorelai, that's not what I want. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life hating yourself or feeling guilty."

"I don't know how not to, Luke" she whispered, covering her face with her hands. "I hurt you and that's all I can think about, even now. And to know you're still hurting from it…"

"Why did you go to him that night?" Luke asked suddenly. "Of all the people you could have, why him? If it wasn't to hurt me, then I just need to know."

"Oh, Luke," Lorelai sighed, dropping her hands back into her lap and shaking her head. "I was messed up that night. Chris was…I had just seen him earlier that night and I don't know, he was on my mind, I guess. I knew he wouldn't turn me away. And I just needed somebody to help me forget the pain I was in, to forget how much pain I'd been in for months. I didn't go over there with the intention of sleeping with him, that kind of just happened. But at the same time, I knew that once you found out, that would be the end for you. You wouldn't want me anymore. And I needed you to not try to talk me out of breaking up. We were in such a bad place, Luke, and I needed that to end. I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own and be able to resist your efforts to talk me out of it but once you learned of what I'd done, I knew it would be over.

"I'm sorry, Luke," she cried. "I really, really am. If I could do it all over, you have to believe me, I would not choose the same path. But I wasn't thinking clearly that night. All I could think of was needing to forget that pain."

"Did it work?" Luke asked, his voice quiet as he stared down at his shoes. "Did you forget?"

Lorelai shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. "Of course not. All it did was make me feel was sick."

Luke heaved a sigh and rubbed his hands along his thighs.

"I just don't get it, Lorelai," he said, turning to look at her, his voice pained. "Why didn't you just tell me how you were feeling? You said earlier you'd been feeling this way for months. Why didn't you just tell me, Lorelai?"

"I wish I had, Luke. I really do. I was so afraid of losing you, though. Which is ironic, I know. But I thought I was doing the right thing by giving you space and time. I tried to be supportive with April and let you work that out on your own. I thought you'd eventually open up to me about her and how you felt. And once you did, we'd be able to get married and work on combining our families together. But then days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and I don't know…the longer it went on, the more sure I was that it was over but I didn't want to admit that so it was just easier to stay in denial. You were still keeping April separate and there was no talk of the wedding, except that one night in Martha's Vineyard, but once we got home, you got distant again. You spent fewer and fewer nights over here, always saying you had diner issues or early deliveries. It just got to the point where I couldn't stand the pain anymore and I needed it to end. And if it wasn't going to end in marriage, I needed it to end for good. I just couldn't go on like we were anymore."

"I can't believe," Luke said, hesitating briefly before continuing, "I can't believe I didn't notice. I didn't see how much pain I was causing you. I really thought we were in a good place. How could I have been so stupid?"

"I didn't want you to see, Luke," Lorelai said, unable to stop her hand from resting on his arm. Luke looked down briefly at the touch. "I hid it. I was trying to be the good girlfriend and not putting my own problems and insecurities onto you while you were dealing with so much. I guess I'm a little too good at that for my own good."

"I still should have known. I should have been able to see it. For as long as I've known you, I should have been able to tell you weren't okay." The pain in Luke's voice was clear.

"I should have told you, Luke," she said, her hand dropping back into her lap. "You shouldn't have had to guess."

Luke shook his head with a frown. She could see he wanted to say more but instead, he hunched forward, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"Luke? Talk to me. What are you thinking?"

Luke sighed. "I just don't get it. What is it about him that you can't get over?"

Lorelai's eyebrows furrowed. "About…Chris?"

"Yeah," Luke said, as if it should be obvious.

"Oh Luke, I am over him. Completely. He and I, we are soo done. Finished. Fini! Kaput! Arrivederci! Might as well throw out that baby with that bathwater because it is so over with. I could go on…"

Luke looked at her with a skeptical eye. "I've heard similar statements from you over the years. I don't think you will ever be done with that man. And I just don't understand it. I don't understand his appeal, to you or to anyone for that matter!"

Lorelai turned to face Luke completely and grabbed his hand between both of hers and forced him to look at her. She took a deep breath. _It's now or never, Gilmore,_ she thought.

"Luke, I know my actions in the past seem to contradict what I just said but I swear to you…I swear to you with my life, with Rory's life, that Christopher and I are completely done. Do I care about him, even still? Yes. He gave me Rory and deep down, he means well. He is my oldest friend and we endured a lot together growing up. So yes, I've always carried certain feelings for him, I can't and won't deny that. But as for wanting a life with him, believing he's the one that got away, that concept is now so far gone it's speaking Japanese and making crazy crap out of paper!

"And for the record, the last few years, he was never even somebody I truly wanted. He was always this possibility for me simply because I'd never met anybody else I felt that strongly about. Until you, Luke. And when we got together, I experienced for the first time what it felt like to truly love a man. Up until then, the only person that ever truly mattered to me was Rory. And then you came into the picture and even before we were officially together, you were always there. My best friend. The one I'd seek out for help or advice or just to plain bitch to about my crazy day. I don't even know when it happened, but somewhere along the line, there you were.

"I can't even put into words what you meant to me, Luke. What you _mean_ to me even still. Even though I know we're over, I know I killed that and I understand, I truly do, but I will always love you. You will always be one of the most important people in my life for as long as I live." Lorelai squeezed his hands and lowered her head slightly to catch his eye. She had to make sure he was paying attention.

"The past year of my life was nothing but one big huge mistake. I lost my way somehow and it took me awhile, but I'm just now realizing how badly I've screwed up. Marrying Christopher, it was my last grasp at that 'happily ever after' concept I used to think was so important. But it didn't work out like I thought. Because even though he loved me, it wasn't enough. Because I was no longer in love with him. Hadn't been for years. I guess I thought I could change that by sheer force of will or something. I mean, I loved him once, surely I could again. But it didn't work out like that. And you can't have a marriage if only one partner is in love. I made a big show of pretending to myself and everyone, thinking if I pretended enough it would one day be true, but I finally had to admit it – my feelings had changed and there was no going back. I couldn't just take second best anymore, not when I knew what it felt like to have first best.

"It's not so bad being alone, really. I did it for most of my life, and I lived. I can do it again. I'm not saying I'll never find anyone else for as long as I live, but Luke, it's hard to imagine finding anyone that isn't you and feeling–"

Lorelai's rambling declarations were suddenly put to a halt by Luke's lips. She froze in surprise, unable at first to even reciprocate because her brain could not compute the current actions.

Luke's lips were on hers! Was this really happening? Maybe she never woke up and is still passed out on the couch. None of this made any sense. And yet, nothing had ever felt more right.

After what felt like a lifetime but was probably only seconds, her body finally unfroze and her arms slipped up and around his neck. Eager, she pulled him closer as his hands buried themselves within her hair. His lips opened a fraction in an effort to deepen the kiss and she heard herself moan softly in response. The feel of his lips on hers after so long was no less than heaven sent, she couldn't help but think as she luxuriated in the tingles that swept through her body. Their lips slid luxuriously against each other, at first hesitant yet insistent, but which quickly turned into a forceful and eager reunion. Despite the cold temperature around her, Lorelai felt as she was on fire. However, as much as she never wanted this moment to end, she finally had to force herself to pull back.

"Luke," she said with a gasp, looking into his eyes. "What, what are we doing?"

Luke gave her a curious look and a small grin. "Since when do you need flash cards for this particular activity?"

Lorelai couldn't help but roll her eyes a little. "No, I mean, what does this mean? You still want to be with me? But how? Why?"

With a touch so gentle, Luke cradled her face between his palms. "Lorelai, I have never stopped wanting to be with you. Not even once. Even at my angriest, I still missed you and wanted you. I was hurt and extremely confused for a while, and I guess I still am a little. But one thing is clear to me and always has been. And that is, I love you. I know I never said it enough and I'm sorry that you ever doubted that. But I have for as far back as I have ever known you. I will never stop. And I don't know, all of a sudden sitting here, I just realized it was worse to be without you than to try to deal with all of this with you here, by my side."

"Luke," Lorelai whispered, filled with so much emotion it was all but overwhelming. "I don't know what to say."

"Lorelai Gilmore, speechless? Will wonders never cease," he teased, his hands trailing down her arms to grasp her chilled fingers with his.

Lorelai gave him a small smile, which soon turned into a worried frown.

"Luke, I don't think it can be this easy. We have some big problems still to face."

"I know that," he said, squeezing her fingers.

"Do you?" she asked, looking him directly in the eye. "Because we've done the 'I love you's' and the 'I'm sorry's' before and it didn't change things. I just need to make sure that we're both committed to this. Committed to fixing things, for good this time. Because I swear to you, Luke, I can't go through this again. I can't lose you again."

"I know," he assured her, his hand coming up to caress her cheek and he brushed her hair behind her ear. "We've both got a lot of things to work on. We need to get a lot of things out on the table, so to speak. On both of our ends. I promise you, though, things will be different this time. But you have to promise me that you will talk to me if and when I screw up."

"I promise, Luke," she said sincerely. "I swear it. No more secrets, between either of us. And that includes finding long lost daughters. Another of those shows up on your doorstep, you tell me immediately, mister!"

Luke laughed, kissing her once more before standing up and pulling her up with him. "I promise."

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming this," she whispered against his neck. She felt him squeeze her tighter in response.

"I don't know about you, but I've never felt more wide awake than now," he said as he pulled back to kiss her again. "However, it is well after one in the morning. And we both have to work tomorrow."

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed. "You could, you know, stay, if you want," she said, her voice hesitant and a little hopeful.

Luke glanced up towards the house before turning back to her with a regretful smile. "I would love nothing more than that. But I think, for right now, maybe we should take things a little slow."

"Slow?" Lorelai frowned. "How slow are we talking about?"

"Just, I don't know, slow. Let's not rush straight back into things full force. We have things we should talk about, and I just think maybe we should spend some time doing that for right now and not get, well, sidetracked."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I get that. So…slow. I can do slow. Just as long as it doesn't take too long."

Luke chuckled. "The Lorelai definition of the word 'slow'," he said as she walked with him down towards her mailbox, her fingers firmly intwined with his.

She grinned up at him as she turned to wrap her arms around his neck. "So I'll see you later?"

"Come by the diner for breakfast. We'll make some plans."

"I'll be there."

Luke leaned down and kissed her goodbye. "Goodnight," he whispered as they shared one last kiss.

"Night," she said, wrapping her arms around herself to try to ward off the sudden chill that came over her as he pulled away. She gave him a small wave and turned to head back up the porch steps. Her gaze wandered next door to Babette's house and she stopped short in surprise. She could see her neighbor's face pressed flat against the windowpane and Lorelai could just make out what looked like the telephone pressed tight against her ear. She sighed and rolled her eyes. _Does the woman ever sleep_, she wondered as she gave Babette a smile and a wave. Unable to stop the slight chuckle from escaping, she practically skipped up the steps and into her house. She realized she didn't care who knew. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops to whoever would listen.

Her world was whole again.

_To be continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: This chapter would not have happened if it hadn't been for the LJ peeps, you know who you are. Without their encouragement and advice, I would never have been able to start writing again. Huge thanks especially go to out to Mags for her fabulous beta. This chapter is so much better for it and for that I'm thankful! I won't promise a speedy update for the next chapter(s), though I am hopeful another year or two won't pass in the meantime. Oy. Apologies for the long wait as usual. I won't abandon this, I will promise you that. _

_Now, on to the chapter. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

"Wakey-wakey!" Lorelai chirped into her cell phone as she closed the front door behind her and skipped down the steps. The early morning sky was beginning to brighten as the sun came up, though it was hard to tell with the thick, grey clouds covering it all. It was still bitterly cold but Lorelai barely noticed. Just thinking about Luke's kiss a few hours ago and how natural it felt to have his arms around her again kept her mind off the temperature quite well and she barely noticed the gloomy sky.

"I hate you," Rory grumbled, her voice muffled.

Lorelai could all but picture her daughter face down into the pillow with the covers over her head. "Well, I never!" Lorelai sighed dramatically as she waved to one of her neighbors getting the paper as she took off on foot towards the center of town. "Is that the thanks I get for giving you life? For suffering through the hours and hours of excruciating pain just to bring you into this glorious world?"

The rustling sound of limbs entangled in sheets could be heard over the line as Rory flipped over in bed and heaved a sigh. "If you hadn't woken me up at a time of day that should not even exist, I might be inclined to apologize for that. But right now, I can't say I'm all that sorry."

"Late night?" Lorelai guessed.

"Papers. Books. Words. Too many…" Rory moaned.

"I'm sorry, sweets. Go back to sleep. Call me when you get up."

"No. Clearly you have something you want to talk about, and it better be damn good for this ungodly time of day. And I'm up now so let's have it."

"I don't know, babe. You're much too grumpy for my news. This is not grumpy-mood kind of news. This is fairy dust, magic wands and pumpkins turning into coaches kind of news. I need happy Rory!"

"Fine," Rory said over a yawn. She knew that it was often better to just given in than to argue with her mother. "I will de-grumpify in 3 - 2 - 1…Hi mom!" she said with sudden fake cheerfulness in her voice. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure I appreciate the sarcasm, missy," Lorelai scolded playfully.

"Then maybe try not calling me at 6 AM next time and expecting sunshine and rainbows."

"Ok, fine. Guess where I'm heading right now?" Lorelai asked and couldn't stop the little giddy hop in her step.

"I don't know. Work?" she asked with a sigh and settled in against her headboard.

"You think I'd wake you up at six in the morning to tell you I was going to work?"

"There's a history."

"Oh, right. Well, no, I'm not going to work. Well, I am. Eventually. Just not where I'm heading right this second. Try again!"

"I don't suppose we could skip the guessing game?" Rory pleaded. "I went to bed like two hours ago and my brain is still booting up."

"Alright, alright," Lorelai said, giving in. "Luke's."

"What about it?" Rory asked.

"Luke's! That's where I'm going."

"Oh, yeah?" she said over another yawn. "You're finally going in?"

"No," she said with a grin. "I've already been in."

"Huh?"

"Yesterday. I went to Luke's yesterday."

"Oh. Well, that's really great, Mom. Don't know why you couldn't have given me this news bulletin during a more appropriate daytime hour yesterday but ok. I'm really glad you and Luke are on friendly terms again."

Lorelai giggled. "Well, that's one way to phrase it. Friendly. Luke and I are definitely _friendly_ again. Mmm-hmmm. The Coffee Addict and the Diner Owner, _friends again_, at last. Yep!" She caught her lower lip between her teeth and silently counted…

"Wait, are you saying…?" Rory trailed off.

"I don't know…what do you think I'm saying?"

"Oh my God! Mom! You and Luke are back together?"

She could tell that Rory was wide-awake now. But Lorelai's smile faltered a little as she suddenly worried her daughter might not be as deliriously happy as she was. "Um, well, hypothetically speaking…if we were, what would your reaction be?"

"I don't know. I mean, this is…fast. I talked to you yesterday afternoon and this hadn't happened. Wait, had it?" Lorelai yanked the phone from her ear as Rory's voice escalated towards a pitch probably only Paul Anka could hear.

"Calm down, hon, okay?" Lorelai urged as she crossed the street, Luke's appearing ever closer with each step. "No, it hadn't happened when we talked. It was all really sudden. Last night we had a bit of a…well, fight I guess is the word. Got a little ugly, things were said. A few jabs were taken, it was all very Springer-esque. But then, he showed up at the house later that night and well, we talked for a long time. We got some things out in the open that should have been long ago and…"

"Yeah?" Rory prodded when Lorelai hesitated.

"And I still love him, Rory," Lorelai admitted with a shrug. "And while I may never fully understand why, he still loves me."

Rory's voice softened. "Of course he does, Mom. I never doubted that."

"Wrll, it came as a bit of a shock to me."

"So, you're back together? Just like that?"

"Well, we're taking it slow, not going to rush back into anything. We still have a lot to talk about but yeah, we're back together. How do you, um, how do you feel about that? I know it's fast and with your dad-"

"I think it's great," Rory interrupted without hesitation. "I know how happy Luke made you and I know the last year or so has been really tough for you."

"Understatement of the year," Lorelai muttered.

"I just want you to finally have it."

"It?" Lorelai questioned.

"Yeah, 'it'," Rory repeated. "The man of your dreams, love of your life, someone to annoy incessantly when I'm hundreds of miles away one day."

Lorelai's stomach clenched at the thought but she pushed it aside. "The whole package," Lorelai said with a wistful smile.

"Yeah, the whole package. I'm happy for you, Mom, really!"

"Thanks, sweets. I'm happy for me, too."

"Have you told Grandma and Grandpa?"

"You think I rushed to the phone this morning to call them before calling you?"

"Right. So, to rephrase, when are you going to tell Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Eh, I thought maybe I'd just wait until they figured it out on their own," Lorelai hedged as she approached the diner steps.

"Right, because that's worked out so well for you in the past," Rory chastised gently.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The jingle of the bells caused Luke to glance up in the midst of filling a customer's coffee cup. He smiled when he saw Lorelai walk in tossing her cell phone into her purse, a bit surprised to see her at such an early hour. She caught sight of him and couldn't help but return his grin.

"Hey," she said, feeling uncharacteristically shy for a moment as she paused just inside the doorway. "Good morning."

"Good morning," he replied and motioned towards the counter with his head. She nodded as she headed towards one of the stools and took a look around the mostly empty diner. She had decided to get to the diner early that morning in the hopes they could bypass the town looky-loos a little bit longer. It wasn't like she could actually sleep after Luke left, she was too anxious to see him again as soon as possible. She figured the gossip mill had probably been awake all night dissecting her love life into microscopic pieces anyway, and were hopefully sleeping in that morning.

Her stomach growled and she practically itched from the need for coffee. She tried to act nonchalant and patient while she waited for him to finish with taking an order but she soon found herself fidgeting and drumming her nails on the counter while her leg bounced against the stool.

When he finally made his way back to the counter, she sat up straighter and gave him a bright smile. "Finally!"

"You've been here barely 60 seconds," he said, smirking at her impatience.

"Your point?"

"Just that…you've been here 60 seconds."

Lorelai's eyebrow lifted. "Wow, pathetic comeback."

He placed the familiar mug in front of her and began to fill her cup. "Sorry, a bit out of practice I guess."

"That's ok, you're forgiven. Because who really cares what you say when you provide the very nectar of the Gods?" she said as she took her first sip and closed her eyes in delight. _God, I missed this coffee_, she thought not for the first time. She couldn't believe she'd gone nearly a year without it.

"Good to know," Luke smirked as he watched her with amusement. "Do you want anything to eat?"

Her stomach rumbled again and she laughed. "Surprise me," she said with a flirty grin.

"Hard-boiled egg and whole wheat toast, it is," he said as he wrote and turned towards the kitchen.

"Hold it right there, mister!" Lorelai cried, practically jumping over the counter as she made a grab for his sleeve.

"Something wrong?" he asked innocently as he turned back towards her.

"Um, yes. Your brain if you think I'm eating that."

"You said to surprise you," Luke informed her with a shrug.

"Silly me for thinking the words 'with something Lorelai will eat' were implied," Lorelai remarked as she sat back down.

"Silly me for wanting you to not keel over dead before you turn fifty," he retorted with his hands on his hips.

"Fifty!" she gasped. "You take that back!"

Luke simply tilted his head and continued to frown. Lorelai could almost feel her heart melt at his concern. "Aww, Luke, the 'Lorelai Effect' does not follow normal health standards. How many times do I have to tell you? My body thrives on sugar and caffeine and carbs. Remember that one time I gave in and ate what you wanted me to? I threw up for two days straight!"

"You caught the stomach flu after babysitting Davie," Luke reminded her. "It was a coincidence."

"Eh, I'm not convinced," she said with a determined grin. "Besides, I don't believe in coincidences."

"You mean, when it doesn't suit your needs to do so," Luke corrected.

"Exactly."

"Fine," Luke said, giving in with a sigh. "Blueberry pancakes and bacon, coming right up."

"Make it chocolate-chip and you've got a deal."

Luke shook his head with a grumble under his breath about looking up the meaning of the word surprise as he scribbled on the pad before disappearing into the back.

"Hey, watch it lady!" a man exclaimed loudly.

The sudden commotion behind her caused Lorelai to turn around in her seat to catch Babette shoving her way past a man who had been trying to enter the diner at the same time. Patty hurried a few steps behind her.

"I told you, Patty! Look!" Babette yelled, pointing towards Lorelai and gasping for breath. She clutched at the doorframe, bent slightly at the waist as she tried to catch her breath.

"Well, well, well," Patty drawled as she sauntered towards the counter. "She's back again. Twice in a row, is it?"

Lorelai sighed quietly but pasted a smile on her face. "Good morning, ladies. Sleep well?" she couldn't help but add.

"Oh," Patty laughed, putting her arm around Lorelai's shoulders. "I'd say it's a very good morning, my dear. A very, very good morning. An absolutely gorgeous morning at that. Wouldn't you agree, Luke?" she asked as she spied Luke coming from the back.

"What are you talking about?" Luke asked, staring out the window in confusion. "It's twenty degrees outside and completely overcast."

"Oh, now, don't be silly," Patty admonished, giving Luke a wink and squeezing Lorelai's shoulder as she turned and headed towards a table by the window. Babette joined her and they sat down with a flourish. "It's absolutely radiant!" The women quickly adjusted their chairs so that they were facing the counter and made no point in trying to hide their interest.

"What is she talking about?" Luke asked with suspicion, turning his attention on Lorelai.

"Oh, you know, us," Lorelai said, turning back around in her seat. "They know."

"Know…how? I saw them come in, all you said was good morning," Luke said.

"Oh, Luke," Lorelai laughed, remembering the priceless image of Babette's face mashed up against the window. "Remember how you said I lived next door to the Stars Hollow gossip queen?"

Realization quickly dawned on Luke's face. "She saw?" Luke asked exasperated. "How? It was the middle of the night, for crying out loud!"

"Which is exactly when the juiciest of gossip tends to happen, my friend," Lorelai laughed.

"Damn prying busybodies," Luke muttered, almost glaring at the pair. Patty gave him a wink in return and Babette smiled brightly, her elbows planted on the table, her chin cradled in her palms. "Do they have cameras set up somewhere? Alarms that go off to alert them? Do they not sleep? Can't anyone around here ever mind their own damn business?" His voice rose slightly so that everyone, but most especially the two women currently staring at them, couldn't miss hearing.

"Yeah, well, welcome to Stars Hollow!" Lorelai suddenly frowned. "Wait, you're not upset that people know, are you?"

Luke quickly turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him. "No," he said after a moment. "Not upset exactly. I don't know. I guess I had hoped we'd have a few days or a week to ourselves first without the stares and the looks and the comments."

"Well, yeah, me too. I had hoped to at least get through breakfast, if nothing else, but it had to come out sometime, right?" Lorelai reasoned. "Might as well be now and get it over with. Besides, they'll find something else to latch on to before the day is through. Trust me."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Luke agreed. "So, how is your dad?" he asked, changing the subject after a moment of silence.

"He's doing pretty great, actually. He got to go home yesterday. Mom is a nervous wreck and Dad is grumpy and tired, but at least they're home again. Hopefully life will return to normal soon."

"I'm sure it will. And I'm glad to hear he's doing well."

"Order up!" Caesar called from the kitchen and Luke headed over to grab her plate. As he did, the bells jingled once more and he looked up and groaned. Luke set the plate down in front of her with a clatter. Lorelai glanced behind her and turned back to give Luke a small smile.

"Luke," Taylor greeted as he approached the counter. He nodded at Lorelai. "Morning, Lorelai."

"Morning," she said in return as she started drowning her pancakes in syrup.

"What can I get you, Taylor?" Luke asked as he began to wipe down what Lorelai could only assume at this hour were perfectly clean counter tops. This nervous habit of Luke's had always secretly amused her, but she hid her smile as she crunched on a piece of bacon.

"A moment of your time, Luke," Taylor said. "And Lorelai, yours too, if I may."

Luke dropped his rag and crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"Why do you have to be so hostile?" Taylor asked, exasperated. "All I want to do is have a small chat."

"Taylor, you and I do not and will not ever have anything that could possibly even resemble a 'small chat'," Luke groused. "In fact, –"

"What is it you wanted to talk to us about, Taylor," Lorelai interjected before Luke could offer the sarcastic retort she knew was coming. She turned in her seat to face Taylor directly, ignoring the glare she knew she was receiving from the man behind her.

"I'm just concerned," Taylor began.

"About?" Lorelai encouraged.

"About this reconciliation. I just fear that it's not good for the town as a whole."

"The _town_ should mind its own business," Luke all but growled as he braced his hands against the edge of the counter.

"Really, Luke, I only want to talk man to man…and woman. We're all business owners here. There's no need to get bent out of shape. I simply feel that this on again/off again relationship you two insist on engaging in puts our town's economy in jeopardy."

"How the hell so?" Luke demanded.

"If you might recall after one of your breakups, you nearly went bankrupt by burning all the food and throwing paying customers out on the street. People rightly began to stay away after that, which affected the sales of The Soda Shoppe, I might add."

"I never even came close to bankrupt, Taylor."

"Well, nearby establishments did suffer for it, regardless. People feared even coming within the vicinity of this diner. I simply think that when you two end up on the outs again, we're going to have a far worse situation upon us. The people can only take so much."

"Oh stop yer meddlin', Taylor," Babette cried suddenly from behind him. "Leave these two kids alone!"

They all turned to find Patty nodding her agreement. "Yeah, Taylor, we should be helping them make it work this time. Goodness knows, they certainly seem to need it," she murmured quietly to her friend who nodded quickly before turning their attention back to the trio.

"Taylor," Lorelai said suddenly holding her hand out towards Luke to keep him quiet and sending a slight glare towards the women. "We can assure you, we're together this time for good."

Taylor narrowed his eyes at the two of them. "That's not very encouraging considering we've heard similar statements on more than one occasion. How is this time any different?"

"Well, it just is. You'll just have to trust us, Taylor," Lorelai said, forcing a smile to mask the irritation she was also feeling. "Isn't that right, Luke?"

Luke ignored Lorelai and returned Taylor's glare, his face reddening with anger. "Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, get out. I'm tired of justifying my relationship to you or anyone else in this ridiculous town. It's our business. Mine and Lorelai's. What we do and don't is none of your business. Got it? You can take your graphs and pie charts and whatever other inane scheme you've cooked up in that tiny little blob you call a brain and –"

"Taylor," Lorelai broke in, placing a hand on his arm. "Your concerns are duly noted. But, as I said before, completely unnecessary. And anyway, people adjusted just fine with time. No long-term damage happened, right?"

"That time," Taylor pointed out. "But you can't push your luck too many times, Lorelai," he warned. "History has shown that –"

"Heard and understood. I promise you we'll keep it in mind." Lorelai smiled and turned to Luke. "Can I get this to go, please?" she asked sweetly.

Luke glared at the two of them but eventually grabbed the plate and turned on his heel, disappearing in the back.

"Anything else, Taylor?" Lorelai asked as she stood up from her seat and gathered her belongings.

"No," Taylor said after a minute, his voice resigned. "Not at this time."

"Good. So glad we had this chat. By the way, I really need to talk to you later about that pothole forming in front of the Dragonfly, among other things. Can you stop by this afternoon?"

"Lorelai," Taylor said with an impatient sigh. "I'm much too busy to just drop everything to deal with your problems right now. I have an entire town to take care of. You'll need to call my office and set up a proper appointment."

"I have. Twice. I'm on a waiting list the size of Texas apparently, which is really interesting considering the population of Stars Hollow is barely the size of my thumb."

"I'm a busy man," he shrugged and headed towards the door. "You'll have to follow the rules, Lorelai, just like everybody else and wait your turn."

"You are not that busy, Taylor!" Lorelai yelled after him. She slumped back down on the stool as he dismissed her with a wave.

"Here," Luke said from behind her. She twirled back around towards the counter and he slid the boxed breakfast towards her and handed her a new cup of coffee.

"Nice ass-kissing you just did there," Luke smirked as he watched her pick up her things.

Lorelai gasped in shock. "I did no such thing!"

Luke's eyebrow rose as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Lorelai grinned suddenly, leaning over the counter slightly. "Jealous?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That it wasn't your ass I was kissing?" she said with an almost seductive tone.

"Oh geez," Luke muttered as he tried unsuccessfully to cover up the involuntary quirk of his lips, his cheeks coloring slightly under his stubble. He made a grab for the dishcloth and began to wipe down imaginary grime.

"Alright, fine. But I need Taylor on my side right now, Luke. I have a number of issues at the Dragonfly at the moment. Unfortunately, I have to get them approved by that man. Antagonizing him right now makes my job that much harder," she remarked as she headed towards the door. "Just remember, my friend, your happiness is once again directly linked to mine."

Luke shook his head with a small smile as he watched her leave, the bells jingling behind her. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

_to be continued…(no really, I promise!)_


	14. Chapter 14

"Oh my God, they don't hate you," Lorelai repeated for what felt like the gazillionth time that night. Her patience with Luke's sour mood was growing thin and his continued denial that anything was bothering him only made it worse. They'd been together nearly a week now but between her still playing catch up at the inn and him at the diner, they hadn't been able to spend that much quality time together. A late dinner here, a couple phone conversations there, quick stops for coffee during whatever breaks she could take. Their conversations so far had been simple but pleasant, both going out of their way to avoid that now neon pink elephant that was currently staring at them from over in the corner, stamping and snorting, his trunk waving with increasing agitation.

They'd spent the last hour snuggled together on her couch, watching TV with a heavy dose of good old-fashioned making out during the commercials. Whatever was bothering him, he had been doing a decent job of faking it so she had let it slide in the beginning. They were still snuggled together, but his body had started to grow tense and his kisses were becoming rather perfunctory. Her irritation was starting to get the better of her.

"Then I'd sure like to see how they act towards people they do hate," Luke muttered, his attention glued to the television in front of them.

"Oh, no you don't. Believe me," Lorelai quipped, glancing up at him with a shake of her head. "It's ugly."

A few minutes passed as they continued to pretend they were both watching the movie, though not even Lorelai would have been able to tell you the name or what it was about.

"Have you told them yet?" he suddenly asked.

She bit her lip. "Uh, about us?" she stalled, picking at the loose thread of fabric on the cushion next to her.

She felt rather than saw Luke roll his eyes. "No, about the new specials at the diner."

"You have new specials? Really?" Lorelai exclaimed in fake delight, looking up at him with a grin and hoping to somehow derail this conversation for now.

He shook his head, muttering her name in a clear warning.

"No," she admitted with a sigh. "With Dad still recovering and Mom treating every sound and move he makes like it's the last one he'll ever do, things are still pretty chaotic over there. I just don't want to throw anything extra at them right now."

Luke gave an almost curt nod. "Sure, I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah, because telling them happy news will surely make the chaos that much worse. Since, as you claim, they love me and all."

"Ok, love might be pushing it. But I promise you, there is no hate, from either of them. Now, can we drop this discussion for now and just finish the movie? You know talking about my parents makes me crabby."

"Fine," Luke muttered, clearly indicating it was anything but.

After a moment more of uncomfortable silence, Lorelai sat up and shut the TV off, tossing the remote to the coffee table with a clatter. She folded her legs underneath her and turned to face Luke who continued to glare at the now blank screen in front of him. She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze between both of hers.

"I promise, Luke, I will tell them. Soon, I swear. I guess I just never thought you'd care so much."

Luke sighed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "I'm sorry," he finally said. "I don't care when you tell them. And I really don't care if your parents hate me or not."

"Then what is with the sudden inquisition?"

Luke shook his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry, never mind. I don't know why I'm acting like this. The only thing I care about is we're here, and we're together." He leaned in and kissed her softly, running his hand through her curls.

"Ok, good," Lorelai said, smiling against his lips, though she was far from convinced. "Want another beer?"

Luke smiled and squeezed her shoulder. "It's been a long day and it's getting pretty late. Maybe I should just go."

Lorelai frowned. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"We did say we were going to take this slow, talk more, before jumping into, well, other things."

"Then let's talk, Luke," she implored. "Tell me what is bothering you because clearly something is. And if it's not my parents, then what?"

"I don't know," Luke let out with a frustrated sigh. "I was fine until I walked through that door."

"So my house is upsetting you?"

"What? How could a house upset me?"

"I dunno but something is wrong, and you just said yourself you were fine until you came in here so if it's not the house, then what?"

"I…I think I'll take that beer now," Luke said quietly. He bowed his head as he tried to rub the tension out of the back of his neck.

"Ooo-kay" Lorelai drawled, as she pushed herself up off the couch and headed to the kitchen. She leaned her forehead against the cool surface of the refrigerator and counted to ten as she tried to calm her nerves. She knew Luke was committed to working this out as much as she was, but she still couldn't shake that little trickle of fear that at any second, Luke was going to tell her it's not worth it and walk out her door.

She grabbed two beers off the shelf and slammed the door shut with her hip as she strode purposefully back into the living room. She slowed her pace when she saw Luke glaring at the television on the wall. _Wow, if looks could kill_, she couldn't help but think suddenly.

"What the hell is that?" Luke suddenly exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger towards the television he'd been watching for the past hour.

She handed him the bottle and glanced behind her. She looked at the large screen for a few seconds, the trickle turning into an actual stream, before looking back at Luke and forcing a grin. "Uh, a TV? You push a button, pretty pictures appear, you push another button…"

"I know WHAT a television is, Lorelai. I'm talking about where that particular one came from."

"Um, I don't remember?" she tried as she sank back down next to Luke. He turned to her with a look of annoyance.

"You don't remember where you put your car keys. You don't remember where you bought those shoes –"

"Actually, I got them at Macy's when Rory and I –"

Luke continued as if she had never spoken. "But you don't forget where you bought a television that's practically half the size of my entire apartment!"

_Here we go_, she thought. She knew the topic of Christopher would have to be broached again eventually, probably would be for awhile, but they'd managed somehow to maneuver deftly around his name all week long.

"Chris bought it." The words came out in a rush, the words blending together as if they were one.

Luke nodded, clearly having already known her answer before he'd asked.

"Is this stupid TV why you're mad? 'Cause it's not my favorite thing either, believe me. Go get Bert and let's rip the thing right out of the wall tonight."

"I'm not mad about the TV," he muttered, the harshness of his words making her think otherwise.

"Then could you please just explain to me what has put you in this oh-so-charming mood tonight?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed as he jumped up and began to pace the room. "I'm just…I hate the way I'm feeling and I don't know how to get past this. I don't like feeling…"

"Feeling what, Luke?"

"Feeling, I don't know! Insecure I guess!" he exclaimed.

"I make you feel insecure?"

"No, not you. It's just…everything combined!" Luke scrubbed his face with his palms as he took a breath to calm himself down. After a moment, he began again, his voice softer and more controlled. "I walked in here tonight and it was as if this entire house was shouting at me that I don't belong here. Which is crazy, because I practically built this goddamn house, you know?"

"Luke," Lorelai said as she started to stand up to go to him but he held out his palm and shook his head. She sat back, her teeth worrying her bottom lip as he continued.

"I know it's a stupid house! An inanimate object! It shouldn't be this big of a deal. But I just can't get past the fact that he lived here, Lorelai. He slept in our bed, under the same sheets as I did! He cooked on that stove and ate at that kitchen table. He sat on that couch, with you probably sprawled out next to him just like you were not even five minutes ago with me, and watched that ridiculous television set! And Rory's room is pink! With fucking ballerinas dancing on the walls! I just don't recognize this house anymore. It looks different. It feels different. And that just pisses me off.

"There are three people that matter to me most. You, April and Rory. As long as I have the three of you, I really don't care what your parents think of me. And yet, even with that said, I know they'd still rather you be with him. And before, that didn't bother me. Because I never in my wildest dreams imagined this," he said, his arms sweeping out wide as he made a half turn around the living room, "would have happened. But now? I don't know, Lorelai. I just don't know how to make it stop driving me insane! It just always seems to go back to that guy and I just hate it."

Luke took a deep breath and gave her a helpless shrug before his shoulders slumped in defeat. He shook his head slightly and stared down at the ground.

Lorelai finally stood, wiping her eyes with the edge of her sleeve as she walked up to him and took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I need to show you something. Don't move."

She left the room but returned a moment later to find him leaning his hip against the staircase railing, worrying his hat in his hands. She paused briefly, her heart breaking for the millionth time for the frustration and hurt she'd caused him. She closed her eyes and shook her head, vowing that for as long as she lived, she'd spend it making it up to him. She didn't know how, but she would do whatever it took. She took the few remaining steps towards him and held up a framed photograph.

Luke couldn't help the grimace that crossed his face when he looked at the picture. "What in the hell is that?"

"This was mine and Chris's wedding present from my parents."

Luke stared at her, not even bothering to hide the flinch that crossed his face at the mention of their wedding. He finally shrugged and said, "They have crappy taste in art. I don't get where you're going with this."

She sat the picture down against the wall on the floor and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. She walked over to her laptop, which sat open on the kitchen table. After a minute of fiddling around with her files, she finally found what she was looking for. She took Luke by the arm and forced him to sit down in the chair in front of the computer. Standing behind him, with one hand on his shoulder, she pointed to the screen with the other as he stared at it in confused silence.

"That was ours."

"I don't…wait," he said quietly, looking back at her quickly before turning to stare at the monitor. "You mean…"

She leaned down slightly, her arms going around his neck. "From the minute they found out about Rory's future existence, they've pushed me to be with Christopher. They're so single minded, it's infuriating. For over 20 years, I listened to their speeches and lectures about how he was the only man I should be with. For my sake, for Rory's sake, for the freakin' mailman's sake. Whatever. And yet, look at this. They were going to buy us a _house_, Luke. A beautiful, amazing house, with a fishing pond out back for you, and a stable with horses for me and a library for Rory…" she trailed off, staring down at his profile.

"Do you see the difference here, Luke? Even my parents knew my marriage to Christopher was a sham. Their gift, while I'm sure incredibly expensive as unbelievable as that may be, was nothing more than a token gift. Something they had to do. But the truth is, even when they wouldn't say it out loud, they believed in our future together, Luke. Yours and mine. Even though it went against every social rule they live by, they had more faith in us than we did."

Luke couldn't take his eyes off of the image on the monitor. "A house. That house."

"Yep, that house."

Luke remained quiet for a long moment and Lorelai simply kept her arms wrapped tight around him. She kissed his temple and gave him a slight squeeze. As they both looked at the image on the monitor, she felt a piercing stab go through her when the memory of that day in the realtor's office came rushing back. How she'd cried and told her mother that she and Luke were done and how her mother had uncharacteristically attempted to comfort her briefly before quietly leaving the room to wait patiently for her outside. She recalled feeling almost pulled to the computer hours later, seeking out the online listing for that particular house. She remembered how she'd stared at the pictures for hours and read the description over and over again until she could relay every detail from memory. It was only when her tears had turned into outright sobs that she finally shut the computer down, but not before saving the photographs to her computer first. She wasn't sure why she did it at the time, something to torture herself with later, no doubt. However, she had never looked at them again, until now.

Luke finally spoke. "I would never have lived in this house, Lorelai. I mean, it's beautiful but I wouldn't have been comfortable letting your parents buy us a house –"

She felt the painful memory being shoved aside as laughter bubbled up to the surface. She slid around until she was situated on his lap with her left arm hooked around his neck. She kissed him sweetly as her fingers trailed down his face, cupping his cheek in her palm.

"I know," she whispered with a soft smile. "But that's not exactly the point here."

"No," he admitted slowly. "I know it's not. When, uh, when did this come about? How come I didn't know about this?"

Lorelai rested her head against his shoulder and played with the buttons on his shirt. "A day or so before we, well, before we broke up. Seemed unnecessary after that."

"Yeah," Luke whispered, resting his lips against her hair. "I guess so."

"My parents might never openly welcome our relationship, Luke," she admitted gently. "They're too stubborn and set in their ways. And snobbish to a fault. But they might be softening a little. This thing with Dad, it really shook my mom. And I think, no I know, that she accepts you now. She knows that it's you that makes me happy, and nobody else could do that for me but you."

"Yeah?" Luke said in a voice so low it sent shivers through her. His hand traced its way down her arm and settled on her hip and his thumb grazed along the bare skin that peeked out from under her shirt. Goosebumps prickled her skin as she closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of his palm hot against her skin.

"Yeah," she whispered as she leaned in and brushed her lips against his once. "And as for your other complaints?"

"Hmm?" He began to taste his way down to her neck to a spot he fondly recalled her favoring. He was rewarded with a soft gasp as her fingers combed through his hair, clutching his head to keep it in place.

"Chris is a worse cook than me. Have no fear, your stove remained properly untouched in your absence. Well, minus that whole snail disaster, that is." _What in the__ hell is wrong with you? _she all but screamed at herself. She squeezed her eyes shut, silently kicking herself for being the stupidest woman alive. She prayed he had been too focused on the delicious things he was doing to her neck to have been paying attention to her words.

Luke pulled back slightly, a look of bewilderment on his face. "He cooked snails?"

_Damn. _She gave him a hesitant smile.

"Well, no, that was actually me. I cooked the snails," she admitted, her eyes darting around the room, staring at anything that wasn't him. "If you could, um, call it that, I mean. They weren't exactly edible or anything, so you," she said, punctuating her words with her finger against his chest, "have nothing to worry about. There is no danger of a _Lorelai's Diner_ overtaking _Luke's_ anytime soon, believe you me. But yeah, you know, other than that, nobody touched a knob on that there stove, my friend."

Luke was staring at her as if she'd grown an extra head as her words spilled out of her in a jumbled rush. After a second or two, he gave a slight shake of his head. "You know what I think?" he asked as he cupped her face in between his palms and pressed his lips against hers.

"What?" she murmured, humming happily against his mouth as his palms slipped up under the back of her shirt and pulled her tighter against his chest.

"I think," he said, placing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, "that I probably don't really want to know the details behind this particular meal." He kissed the other corner of her mouth. "Do I?"

She gave him a small smile and shook her head slowly. "Probably not," she whispered.

"Ok, then," he said, continuing to pepper a line of kisses along her jaw. "The subject of you cooking snails is officially dropped…for now anyway. Although, I think that might be something I really need to see to believe," he murmured as he nibbled her earlobe gently.

"Hmmm…maybe one day," she whispered, as she quickly maneuvered herself so that she was straddling him on the chair. "I'm a little preoccupied right now, though. But if you're a good little boy –"

"Hey, who are you calling little?" Luke asked as he gripped her head tightly, his lips attacking hers with an almost bruising force. Her senses were immediately on overload. The smell of his skin was intoxicating and her fingers gripped the front of his shirt, anchoring her to him. She moaned into his mouth as she adjusted her position in order to better feel him against her. He practically growled in response as he pulled her even tighter against him, causing her to toss her head back with a gasp.

"Definitely not you," she stammered and she could feel him chuckle against her, his tongue tracing a slow pattern down her throat. She pulled his head back up to look him in the eye. "Slow? Really?"

His smile was sheepish. That is, until her own tongue traced a particularly sensitive path behind his ear. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pushed back his chair, the scrape against the floor echoing loudly amongst their labored breathing. With a grunt, Luke pushed himself to a standing position and she yelped as she made a grab for his neck and her legs gripped his waist.

"You play dirty," he growled as he stumbled his way up the stairs with her still wrapped like a vise around him.

"Just the way you like it, I recall" she giggled as they rounded the corner into her bedroom. "Oh and Luke?" she asked, her voice breathy and tinged with seduction.

"Yeah?" He couldn't contain the groan as she unwound her legs from around his waist and slowly slid her body down his until her feet were solidly on the ground in front of him. Her fingers toyed with the buttons as she gave him a seductive smile.

"I can't do anything about the actual bed yet but the bedding?" She placed her mouth hot against his ear and whispered, "Brand spankin' new."

"Good enough," he said as he ceremoniously kicked the door shut behind them with a slam.

_to be continued..._


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I may be ridiculously slow but I do not lie. I promised I would finish and I have. Just took me 3 years. ;) I only hope it was even somewhat worth the wait. Thank you all for the encouragement and feedback over the last few years and for sticking with me. I treasure every word, believe me.

And of course, huge thanks to Mags for the invaluable beta help on the last few chapters. All remaining issues are mine alone.

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Three generations of Gilmore women sat silently around the large dining table, each focused intently on the food in front of them. The sounds of forks and knives gently clattering against the delicate china accompanied soft music that played in the background. The silence was making Lorelai uneasy and she shifted in her seat, a sigh escaping her lips.

"Lorelai, please," her mother admonished as she took a sip of her wine.

She murmured a quiet apology and glanced at Rory who was seated across from her. She saw the pointed look her daughter was giving her and shook her head once, a warning on her face.

"So, Grandma," Rory said, her lips pursed in annoyance as she turned her attention to the older woman. "Mom said Grandpa had a doctor's appointment this morning?"

Emily delicately wiped her mouth with the linen and smiled over at her granddaughter. "Yes, he did. It went very well. His doctor is pleased with his recovery and said he is healing right on schedule."

"Dad not feeling up to joining us for dinner tonight?" Lorelai asked.

"He's sleeping," Emily stated, picking up her fork again. "I didn't want to wake him."

Lorelai nodded and silence descended around the room once again.

"Rory, tell me, how's Logan?" Emily asked after a moment.

"He's great. He's doing so well with his new job. I think he's surprised himself at how much he's enjoying it."

"That's wonderful! He is a very bright boy. I see big things for his future," Emily said with a smile. She then turned her attention to Lorelai. "And how are things at the Dragonfly?"

"Business is booming."

"Good," Emily said. "And Sookie? How is she doing?"

"Nobody can destroy a kitchen like Sookie can," Lorelai said with a grin.

"Oh, well, alright," her mother said, a curious look on her face but apparently deciding not to pursue. "Anything else going on in your little town I should know about?"

"Um, no?" Lorelai said, wincing as she felt a sharp kick to her shin. She sent a reproachful look across the table. "Nothing of note."

_I'm just not ready yet,_ she kept thinking all night. Earlier tonight Lorelai had sat in her car a couple houses down from her parent's while she waited until she saw Rory's car pull into the drive. She hadn't done that in quite some time but she just was not ready to brave her mother tonight on her own. Even though Emily appeared to be okay with the idea of her and Luke back together, she wasn't ready to risk finding out otherwise despite her promise to Luke. Because one thing she'd learned growing up a Gilmore was that nothing could be fully trusted in this house.

She knew she had to tell them and soon, but she just isn't sure she was ready for whatever reaction was waiting for the reveal. Besides, they'd already agreed not to mention the upcoming divorce to Richard, as Emily feared it would upset him too soon after the surgery. Lorelai had readily agreed. Probably more for the relief at getting to put the potential unpleasantness aside for awhile than for noble reasons such as her father's health, but she would only admit that to herself.

When nobody spoke again, she glanced over to her right to find Emily staring at her over the edge of her wine glass.

"What?" she muttered, glancing back down at her plate.

Emily shook her head. "Nothing."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes as she watched out of the corner of her eye as her mother attempted innocence and took a sip of her wine. She knew that supposed innocent look. It was the look of trouble for sure.

"I spoke to Francine yesterday," Emily said, completely out of the blue as she continued to eat.

Lorelai's head snapped up. "What?"

"She called yesterday to check on Richard."

"Um, ok," Lorelai said with a shake to her head. "Thanks for the news bulletin."

"She said Christopher was close to finding a permanent place to live."

"Good for him," she muttered as she used her fork to make track marks in the gravy.

"She wanted to get together for lunch one day and catch up. I think having Christopher and Gigi there for awhile has helped her a lot. She's been a bit of a recluse ever since Straub died. She's apparently been getting out of the house a lot more lately, going with them to the park and such."

"I'm very happy for her," Lorelai said with sarcasm she didn't even try to hide as she practically stabbed a carrot with her fork. She glanced over at Rory who was currently attempting to bore actual holes through her plate with her eyes.

"Have you talked to your father, Rory?" Emily asked.

Rory's head jerked up in surprise and she glanced at her mother before responding. "Yeah, we've had dinner a couple times actually."

"Oh, that's wonderful. How do you think he's doing?"

"Um, well, he's okay. I guess. Gigi keeps him pretty busy."

"Mmm, I'm sure. And your friend Lane? She's been married now about a year now?"

Lorelai's eyes narrowed as she listened to her mother's sudden interrogation.

"Yes," Rory shifted slightly in her seat. "She's doing fine. They're expecting twins in a few months."

"Well, my goodness! Twins! How fabulous. The Stinson's girl had twins last year. You remember Jessica, don't you Lorelai?"

"Nope." Lorelai continued to stab at her food.

"She just got remarried a couple years ago."

"Good for her," Lorelai muttered.

"It was quite the scandal, actually. Had everyone in an uproar for months but I suppose it eventually blew over. Oh, and Sally and Carl's son, I always forget his name," Emily paused a moment, her fingers tapping lightly on the table. "Well, anyway, he just got married, though she's quite homely looking if you ask me. It's no wonder Sally changes the subject when she comes up."

"Grandma!"

"Well, she's not very pleasant to look at. Though I'm sure she's quite nice all the same. Let's see, what else is going on? Oh, the Londons' moved to Florida!"

"Who?" Lorelai asked.

"You remember Jaquelyn and Mark London. We used to have dinner all the time when you were young. They had a daughter close to your age. Dreadful child," Emily said with a shake of her head. "Mark retired and they decided to pack up and move south to enjoy the sun."

"Sounds…warm."

"Yes. I'm sure it is. And there's a new stylist at my salon. Adam's wife went to see her and let's just say she's not left the house since, the poor thing. It's just terrible."

"Mom, what are you doing?" Lorelai finally asked.

"Hmmm?"

"You're like the National Enquirer for the Hartford snobs all of a sudden."

"I am simply sharing information. I thought you'd like to be informed of what is going on in your hometown. Oh, the Hammils' adopted the cutest little Yorkshire Terrier you ever did see a few weeks ago. I'm not much for dogs, though he is just adorable. Though not very bright, I must say. I actually saw him run away in fright from some leaves blowing towards him. Richard and I had quite a laugh. And I do believe that their daughter Molly got a new car for her birthday. It's blue."

"Mom," Rory muttered under her breath, nudging her leg with her shoe. "Please."

Lorelai sighed and leaned forward in her chair, folding her arms on the table in front of her. "Ok, fine. You win, Mom. Luke and I are back together."

Emily sat back with a satisfied smirk. "Thank you. Now, was that so hard?"

Lorelai glared at her mother and just shook her head. "If you already knew, why not just say something?"

"Because I wanted to hear it from you, Lorelai. Is that so hard to understand? That I might actually want to know about the changes in my daughter's life from her own mouth for a change? I'm tired of finding out important details from strangers. If you had your way, I'd learn of a new grandchild through the newspaper!"

"Oh come on, Mother. I think my waddle would give it away before then."

"Don't be cute, Lorelai. It's hurtful and I'm tired of it."

"Oh, and you haven't been hurtful towards me? You play a part in this, too, you know. There's a reason I don't want to tell you things. It's simply self-preservation."

"Self-preservation? Everything is always so dramatic with you. What –"

"You know, I felt a little confused when I woke up."

They all turned and looked up at Richard in surprise as he walked into the dining room.

"I wasn't exactly sure what day it was at first. But judging by the familiar sounds of arguing, I must say that it has to be Friday night."

"Grandpa!" Rory exclaimed and jumped up to give her grandfather a hug. "I'm so glad you could join us tonight!"

"Richard, you should be resting," Emily exclaimed as she helped him get seated in his chair and called out to have a plate sent out for Mr. Gilmore. "I'd have had Maria send up a plate to you."

"I've rested enough, Emily, thank you," he said. "I can't stand to stay in that bed any longer. I'd like to have dinner with my family, if you wouldn't mind."

"Alright, Richard," she acquiesced. "Just don't over-do it, please."

"I promise," he agreed with a patient smile, which set Lorelai even more on edge if possible. "Now, tell me what I missed. What were you two fighting about?"

"Nothing, Dad," Lorelai said, dismissing the question with a wave of her hand. "How are you feeling? It's good to see you up and around."

"Thank you, I'm feeling just fine. And I don't believe you. Come on, tell me what I've missed."

"Really, Richard. It was a silly little argument, which is completely over with now. Wasn't appropriate for the dinner table at all. Oh good, here's your dinner now," Emily dismissed the subject as she watched Maria hurry in with a plate for her husband.

"Rory, humor your grandfather, please," he asked while he placed his napkin into his lap. "Fill me in on the gossip. I'm not near as fragile as people seem to think."

"Um, well?" Rory stammered, shooting her mom a pleading look.

"Dad," Lorelai began, taking pity on her daughter. "We were just discussing some, well, changes in my life lately." She ignored the glare she knew she was receiving from Emily.

"Aww, I presume you are referring to your upcoming divorce?" he asked, his tone curiously light as he placed his napkin in his lap. At Emily's gasp of surprise, he said with a small smile, "I'm not always asleep when you think I am, Emily."

Lorelai and Emily exchanged stunned expressions. "I'm sorry, Dad. We were waiting to – we just didn't want to upset you, is all."

"While I appreciate the sentiment, it's completely unnecessary. Now, have you already contacted a lawyer? I'll make a call if you would like me to."

"Oh, well, that's not necessary, Dad. We've got it handled. But…thank you?" She paused as she nervously played with a strand of her hair. "So, you're okay with this?"

"Okay with it?" Richard asked. "Well, that's taking things a few steps too far. I wouldn't call this 'okay'. Resigned is a better word for it."

"Oh, right." She looked over at her mother and Emily shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"I can't say I'm all that surprised, really. I didn't exactly see it lasting. You're impulsiveness tends to get you into trouble generally. However, I've recently learned that life is short if you'll pardon the cliché. We just have to make the best of things and simply keep moving forward."

"Well, in the interest of moving forward and full disclosure," she said glancing over at her mother with a pointed look, "you should also know that Luke and I are back together."

"Now that," Richard said with a grin, "I also saw coming. Congratulations. Be sure to let us know of any important dates we may need to plan around as soon as possible so that we might arrange our summer travel plans accordingly, alright?" Richard gave Lorelai a subtle wink before turning to Rory. "Now Rory, tell me what I've missed at Yale."

"This dinner has taken a very weird turn," Lorelai muttered. Emily nodded in quiet agreement as they exchanged confused glances.

* * *

Later that night, she sat at the counter at the diner and finished off the last of the pie as Luke closed up.

"So they are officially in the know," she told him after relaying the evening's events.

Luke nodded as he finished putting the last of the chairs on top of the tables. "That's great."

"Yeah, it's a relief to have it all out in the open. Now we can hopefully truly move forward. You mind?" she asked, holding up her coffee cup as she hopped down and headed around the counter, not bothering to wait for his reply.

"Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?" Luke asked suddenly, not looking up as he began to sweep the floor.

"Mmmm," she murmured between sips. "We have a wedding in the morning and the reception in the afternoon. I should be free by dinner, though. You planning on taking me out on some hot date?" she teased.

"Can someone else deal with the wedding stuff or do you have to?"

"Well, maybe. Why?"

"Um, well," he said, suddenly sounding nervous. "I was actually wondering if…"

"What?" she prodded.

He smiled at her, suddenly sheepish. "I was just thinking, if you wanted, that you could spend the day with me and April."

She felt her eyebrows rise before she could stop them. "Spend the day? With April?" she whispered, hating herself for the trepidation she was suddenly experiencing.

"Yeah, only if you want to," Luke stressed. "The move is coming up in a couple weeks and she's got some school stuff to deal with before that and so I think this might be the last real day with her I get before she comes to visit during the summer and well…"

She stood and walked over to stand in front of him. "Luke, if it's your last day with her, I think you should be with her. Just the two of you. I don't want to interfere with that."

"Stop," Luke said, grabbing her hand. "You would not be interfering. I want you there. You're my family, just as much as she is. I want you two to get to know each other. It's important to me. It should have been important to me back then but I was stupid and blind. I know now that I don't need to wait for some stupid marriage certificate to tell me who my family is."

Lorelai felt herself nearly freeze. "Marriage certificate?" she whispered, her eyes wide.

Luke gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and a sheepish smile. "Well, yeah, I mean, that's where we're going with this, right? I mean, I know we're not ready to run off and do it tomorrow or anything, but that's kind of where I thought…"

"We are," she said, nodding her head and unable to stop the grin that threatened to split her face in two. "It is. I mean, yeah, that's where we're going." She realized she probably closely resembled one of those bobblehead dolls and finally forced her head to stop the incessant nodding. The smile, though, this she couldn't stop nor did she want to even try.

"Good," he said, relieved. "So, tomorrow? Think you can get away?"

"Tell you what," she said after she regained the ability to formulate actual words. She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up at him. "Why don't you guys do something just the two of you during the day, and I'll make sure I'm done at the inn by five at the latest and can meet up with you then? Dinner and a movie?"

"Sounds perfect," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before pulling her against him in a hug.

_Perfect_.Her lips formed the word silently as she closed her eyes. She could almost hear the actual sounds that were the scrambled pieces of her former life snapping firmly back into place. She wasn't naïve enough to think everything was all better now, she knew there would be plenty of rough roads still to tread for them ahead, but for the first time in years she was convinced that they'd make it through.

_Fini._

Yeah, I can't believe it either.


End file.
